Wednesday, August 09, 2006

Matthew and Lance, Sittin' in a Tree

This is hilarious. Please read and then we'll discuss.

What happened to Matthew McConaughey? I have to admit that at one point in my life - probably around 1996, probably around A Time to Kill - he was on my Top Five list. He was only a few ranks away from my eternal love for Johnny Depp. This seems close to impossible now. Over the past ten years his hairline has receded into dangerous territories only Jude Law can conquer, his face has taken on a sheen worthy of a ProActiv endorsement, and most recently he's taken up solo beach yoga and cycling. In spandex. And now this creepy friendship with Lance Armstrong? Oh, Penelope Cruz. First you "slept" with Cruizeazy for three years and then "slept" with this dude. You poor thing.


  1. a. you're crazy for ever liking the guy b/c the guy has a noggin' bigger than his home state of TX. Wonder how the aliens in "Contact" were talking to Jodie Foster? b/c she spent the whole movie standing next to his planet-sized radio-signal receiving cranium.

    b. I'm not one to normally hate on latina lovelies...yet let's call a spade a spade, Penloper has packed on a few l-b's over the past few years. She and "Head" are same-same as we used to say about pre-school juice cups of the same color.

    c. Sorry to be entirely negative, but I think its worth mentioning that noone seems to have told Lance that the yellow charity bracelet trend has jumped the shark (as has that phrase). Innapropriate? Perhaps... but I'm just saying.

    d. Glad someone has an eye on this stuff though. Was worried j-fizzle was going to die a lonely cat lady, but now he has someone to discuss his obsessions with in a public forum. Just waiting for the schmance jeans obsessions to come to air. btw - $70 pd&c's at Nordy Rack feeling pretty good right about now. thanks for asking.

  2. What's the logical sequel to the yellow bracelet? A testicle on a neckchain?

    And did you really get Paper Denims for $70? The horror...


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