Monday, September 04, 2006

Lessons Learned in London

Fashion: Skinny jeans are not a new finding over there. Pairs in LA are spanking new, sharply creased. In the UK, similar pairs have worn, fringed bottoms and holes in the knee; old news. Same with flat boots. I spent every day of last year searching for the perfect flat boot (picture Orlando Bloom in Lord of the Rings) because I knew they were it. But could I find them anywhere? No. Sad, ugly imitations? Yes. But nothing worthy of Middle Earth. Now, photos of what I envisioned are popping up all over the interweb and Harper's Bazaar. And everyone in London is wearing scuffed-up pairs they clearly purchased about the time I was scouting last fall. I'm furious.

Candy: Everyone knows British sweets are superior to ours (just look at their teeth) but did you know about their Cadbury bar filled with Turkish Delight? I didn't think so. Narnia in a wrapper.

Tabloids: They are exclusively about Prince Williams's girlfriend Kate, dubbed "HRH: Her Royal Hotness."

Beverages: Not once, but twice, did I make the mistake of ordering a lemonade this weekend. Few things in life are as delicious as a tangy, pulpy glass of juice made from lemons. FYI: In Britian, "lemonade" means "fake-sugar-sweetened-Sprite-knock-off." Do kids sell this stuff at stands?

Lines (ahem, queus) at Airports
: Brits will stand in any line they are told to without comment or complaint. Heathrow is a nightmare right now. Even though I showed up on time, brought no squishy lip gloss, and packed but one bag, I barely made my flight home. The only thing that got me there was my obnoxious Yankee entitlement; if there was a beginning of a line to get to, I got there - and loudly. By the time my fellow Americans and I sprinted to our gate, it was last call and we just made it on. At take off, less than half the seats were filled even though the plane was fully booked. I'm fairly certain the people who missed it were all English and are still waiting in security, politely inquiring for a spot of tea.


  1. Anonymous8:34 AM

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  2. christie3:03 PM

    What the ding dang were you doing in London?? J E A L O U S!!!

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