Monday, July 02, 2007

Full Disclosure Part 3

The Dog Whisperer



Although my little brother did - mysteriously - request that my mother puffy paint I LOVE DOGS onto his t-shirt at age 4, we were never the dog-loving-type family. Truth be told, most dogs (even the tiny yippy ones) used to scare the bejesus out of me. Now I want one with an unabiding fervor I usually reserve for flat boots and/or 35 cent packages of Peeps. So, I never thought I'd be pausing my manic channel changing on a show about dogs, let alone sitting quietly and enjoying it immensely with mouth agape.

Cesar Milan is a tiny Latino man with a big a#$ pack of dogs (comprised mostly of big a#$ pit bulls) who's got the ability to whip even the most heinous dogs into shape. If you were to ask him, he'd say he "rehabilitates dogs and trains people" but whatever dude, the man's half canine.

He's fixed skateboard-obsessed bulldogs, crazy-face chicks who use their dogs to cure panic attacks, demon puppies who kick their owners out of bed, and traumatized postal workers. And he's got a side gig in saving maybe-ruined-by-dog-issues-but-actually-dumb-people-issues marriages. You're impressed.

I don't have a dog (yet, CC) to make act better, but CM has improved my vocabulary. I can now request that family and friends please remain "calm-submissive" - the term he uses to describe a dog's ideal mental state - whenever they start acting feisty. It rolls out his mouth nonstop and smushed together into one word; it took me a couple episodes to even figure out what the heck he was saying. I felt confident it must be "con smith" which I thought might be a variant of "heel" or something in Cesar Speak.

I currently have 2 episodes at a time recorded to the DVR. Not exactly something I brag about at work, but I feel pretty good about it.

P.S. The C-Man's not gay? He's married with a child? Really? Well, knock me over with a minpin.

3 comments:

  1. Ryan G9:55 AM

    I guess Dog Whisperer is kind of dorky... Kind of...

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  2. i only vaguely know of this program... and thats because i saw him on oprah... i find him spooky.

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  3. This guy is unbelievable - even I couldn't believe he has this way with dogs (and people).

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