Wednesday, June 25, 2008

who i wanted to be

look what i found on youtube!

my freshman year in college, i wanted to be this girl. she was a senior and one of the best actors in the fine arts school. it's hard to explain just right, but the whole acting program was a strange combo of high school throwback, where the older kids were revered and untouchable, and hollywood, because the seniors were already flying to new york and la, meeting with agents and coming back with sparkly stories and plans and jeans. it all made us want to work harder, eat lesser, look better. in other words, it was very healthy.

but back to her. she had long, wavy blond hair and wore flared black pants and a long black coat embroidered with flowers. (bought in london, my friend whispered.) you know those slow-mo shots at the end of tv show openers, when the leads are walking down the street, their coats billowing behind them? she looked like that all the time.

before christmas break, she was in a play where she wore a corset and they assigned me to be her dresser - the joys of freshman slavery - but i couldn't even deal with my luck. the way i saw it, i might as well have been in the same small room with meryl streep, running to get her water and handing her tissues and asking what it's like to work with dustin hoffman.

after the show, she brought me a bag of candy and a thank you card and i created a shrine to them on my desk. then (in an act that still baffles me) my boyfriend cleaned my room when i was napping and threw away a bunch of stuff without asking me, including her gift. i don't think it's a coincidence our relationship soon collapsed. our complete incompatibility
might have helped, too.

but i digress. i really did heart her and was happy to find this today because wow, she really is good! i always like to discover i was correct in an obsession, not something i can always claim. (constantine maroulis, ahem.)


  1. Does your comment about Constantine Maroulis indicate that you feel you made a mistake by being a fan of his? Has he disappointed you in some way? He's doing so many amazing things. In theater, on TV, his CD. I can't imagine. He's possibly the most underrated artist out there.

  2. Not to mention Constantine's revolutionary application of Blue Steel to Oneida Bingo Night.

    Hopefully his amazing work for the bingo world will open a few eyes.

  3. Anonymous3:19 PM

    I'm sorry you were also disappointed by Constantine. We are a group of people who discuss him and how he disappointed all of us. Come see at http:// itsgoodtobeus . net


Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.