Monday, October 20, 2008

i don't feel like i'm bah humbug

about too many things - it's more likely i'm filled with glee over strange and small things - but one thing i simply cannot get behind is halloween for grownups. i have many a friend who tells me in september he/she's busy planning their costume to which i can only say "...oh." god love the people who love it and i certainly don't want to take away their joy - but here are a couple of my thoughts on why it sucks:

a) i don't drink. i think, once you hit 11, you'd have to be drunk to put weird crap on and prance around in the cold with other people wearing weird crap. all without the promise of candy in a pumpkin basket! (sidenote: remember those plastic jack o'lantern bucket things mcdonald's gave out 15-ish years ago? lo-ved.)

b) i really paid my dues in the dress-up-with-makeup category after 15 years of dance recitals and musicals. i've worn so many strange things on stage, (ladybug, chick with blue face and tin cans in my hair, worm) that spandex and glitter just don't impress me. (i felt a powerful impulse to add the word "much" to the end of that sentence, ala shania twain.)

c) the thought of "michael jackson" making out with "hermione granger" after one too many apple pie shots makes my tummy churn.

i love kids in costumes, i love handing out fun size snickers, i love baking cupcakes with candy corn goblins on top; i just want to see your i.d. before you partake, thank you.

1 comment:

  1. i never made out with a michael jackson when i was a hermione, but, point taken. cause yeah, good gravy, that would be weeiiiiiid.

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