Thursday, December 18, 2008

the dude who lives downstairs

is named mike. we don't know his last name so we call him mike neighbor. it's actually pretty catchy if you say it enough times. try it!

about a year ago, mn was having a lot of funz smoking the dope and playing the reggae. just as i was getting cozy in my jams, snuggling under my covers with sherlock holmes and soy crisps, he was pumping the volume. a couple times i snuck down the stairs and sort of stared at his door before turning around and running upstairs quick like a bunny. it all seemed very freshman dorm and not in the fun, eat a pound of mozarella sticks every night from the late night cafeteria, way.

eventually i got cc to do my dirty work and talk to mn about his noise pollution. mn said he'd turn stuff off by 11 if i stopped jumping up and down by 11. i think this was in my tae bo days, but you don't have to ask me twice to stop exercising; a deal was a deal. and we had a really nice run of things, mr. neighbor and me.

but lately, he's creeping back into his old ways. liiiike right now, 12:12 in the a.m., he's got some serious surround sound action going and i can hear actual dialogue. i think it may be signourney, i think it might be alien, i think i have work in 8 hours.

it all feels too intimate, me knowing what he's watching on a wednesday night, probably in his own sets of jams. i already know what he's smoking, i can't handle anymore detail.

so if you'll excuse me, i've got some sneakers to put on and some hop scotching to inflict. bye!


  1. the people who live above me move their furniture.
    all day.
    all around their apartment.
    i also have a group of chanters living down the hall.

  2. I this guy around my age? If so, he lived below me in Austin in 94-95...

  3. Anonymous2:36 PM

    Here is the strange thing - 4 min before reading this I had just told someone that the three separate people who have lived below us have never made a sound in over 3 years. Maybe it's the large calvary sword, you can see shining at night, hanging from our living room wall.

  4. wow, chanters?? like buddhist chanters? i have mixed feelings about that.

    yes, kc, i do believe he is around your age. he's probably the same guy. i'll give him your address and you can get back in touch.

    i'll have to look into the sword thing. it sounds helpful if not exactly in line with our mid-century decor aesthetic.

  5. no, not buddhist at all. it sounds like an android singing while someone plays a pitch pipe over and over. it's really awful.

  6. *has a dance party USA at your house*

    oh, neighbors. silly folk.

  7. when i'm alone i pretty much sing all day at the top of my lungs, play nintendo really loud, or practice Axel F on the piano.

    I'm the bad neighbor.

    And interesting fact: I'm pretty sure Dave McCaulay? (from high school) lives in the apt either above or below me. I'm like 99% sure, but I've lived here for 2 years and every time i think i see him i say nothing.

  8. !!!! i went to elementary school with him! you must say hi. but wait, nevermind. didn't he molest someone at bth's house?? i'm not wrong.

    i had the same experience with bolduc's brother when i lived in cambridge. i think i passed him every day for two years without saying hi. i'm not very friendly, it turns out.

  9. Hahah yea sounds about right. I'm not too friendly either, especially out of context. Most of the time I just have no idea what's going on.

    But yea DM either stands for Dave MacCaulay or Designated Molester, so I'm not about to say hello. I'm just going to continue the Mexican standoff. I will not cave, molester!


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