Sunday, August 30, 2009

aewori[roiepoar

Oh, I'm sorry. Were you not able to understand my title? It's probably because my hands are swollen and I can'taoepruaoerperf type very well.

This delightful new symptom started up yesterday, when I went for a walk down by the piers with my buddy Manjiri. It was hot - truly hot, not fake San Francisco hot - and our "walking" didn't last very long. We strolled for a bit, but soon my hands were puffy marshmallow mittens and I had to sit down to make it stop.

We chilled in the shade on the cool pavement, and drank lemonades and ate sammies, and chat chat chatted, occasionally stopping to gawk at the local talent. Warm weather brings out the CRAZIES - I'll leave it at that.

(No, I won't. This one dude, not a transvestite, in no other way femme, was wearing a DENIM SKIRT. Just, like, hey! It's really warm, the jean shorts are too stifling, this thing looks comfy, yeah!)

But the hand puffies didn't go away. They stayed with me for the rest of the day and through the night, as I watched Clay play his new Batman game, tried playing it myself, and then made us watch Mad Men instead. (Sidenote: Do you ladies truly find Jon Hamm attractive? Am I missing something? I do not get it. At all.)

And they're still here today. Puff, puff, puff the magic puffies. I'm sure I'm just retaining water like a happy preggo is supposed to, but of course I like to consume myself with frantic Google searches, ranging from early preeclampsia to cancer of the fingernails.

Want to come over? It's fun!

8 comments:

  1. Yikes, that sounds terrible! Also, I would have googled up the wazoo, too. I hope your hands return to normal size soon.
    Really, you don't get the Jon Hamm thing? How???

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  2. Nice to meet another obsessive Googler!

    I do hope your mitten-hands go away soon... maybe if the heat goes?

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  3. Puff, puff the magic puffies! Poor marshmellow hands!

    I DO want to come over. Can you just hire me as your life in housekeeper/assistant? I'll cook, clean, make jokes, and massage your mallow hands.

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  4. Jon Hamm is objectively hot. What don't you see?

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  5. Jon Hamm = not my kind of guy either...

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  6. casey, i love that it's a jon hamm debate that makes you comment...

    here's the thing.

    1. i like my guys a little beefy. he's too slim and delicate.

    2. his eyebrows are very bert. like, ernie's friend bert.

    3. meh.

    i don't think he's UNattractive - prolly wouldn't throw him out of bed in real life - i just don't get the obsession.

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  7. mr. hamm looks like a poser. :\ i generally never like the "hot celeb guys" most ppl like. for instance, sure i think brad pitt has beautiful features - but in a club, i'd actually prefer john krasinski. i'm a weird one.

    i hope your hands de-puff.i wonder if massage would help at all? or maybe accupuncture? hmmm.

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  8. christie4:20 AM

    *googling Jon Hamm* (yes, I'm old and out of it)

    Um... yeah, not my type, either.

    Sorry about the puffy puffs. Hold them above your heart at all times?

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