Monday, June 14, 2010

Doh. Nut.

Sunday was a good day around these parts. Well, the first 4/5ths of it anyways. Bedtime was...interesting. But we're focusing on the positive, peeps! (Originally typed as "pees" since that's what is currently covering the mattress cover and sheet and bouncy chair and my thighs and I can't think straight above the stench.)


We all woke up a few before 7 and snuggled sleepily for a bit. Then Clay said the magic words:

 "Would you like me to take her so you can sleep?"

and I screamed politely answered:


Well holy dude, I woke up some time later, rolled over to peek at my phone and what? 10:00?! My boobs confirmed the time was correct. (You know what I mean if you know what I mean. If you don't -- you're lucky.)

Pulled on some sweats and scurried out to the kitchen, where I a) saw a clean countertop b) heard the dishwasher running c) SMELLED DOUGHNUTS.

Drool pooling in my mouth, I looked for my family. Neither Bisque nor Clay were in sight. A peep around the corner saw my babe happily cooing in her exersaucer. I scooped her up and ate her face, soothing her furrowed brow. Because it was obvious she was really missing me. *cough*

So yeah. Extra sleep, clean kitchen, and doughnuts. Pretty much my perfect trinity of perfect.

However! Lovely day or not, I have now consumed 5.5 of the 6 doughnuts purchased and I'm feeling...a tad...doughy. I don't buy them for myself because, as you can see, I can't stop. They are my unsafe food. So I'm very sorry, Michaela, if I'm unable to fit in the bridesmaid dress come Saturday. Blame my husband?

What are your unsafe foods, friends? (I also can't be trusted around spaghetti.) (It isn't pretty.) (Or clean.)


  1. FRENCH FRIES. For real. I have a serious weakness/addiction to them. Oh and.. potato chips. GAH. Why can't I be obsessed with tofu and rice??

  2. SAME as Jordan. Anything savory.

  3. Icecream I always finish the tub... In one sitting.

  4. Weird that mine are hummus and tablouleh? Or chips and salsa....some sort of chip vehicle for dip.

  5. um, all food in general.

    I seriously have the appetite of three large men combined.

    but since you're looking for some specifics: homemade graham crackers, baklava, leftover palak paneer and tika masala, and red licorice.

  6. i think at this point it would be safer/shorter to list my "safe" foods - which are foods that i will not consume in large quantities at this time:

    -hot peppers
    -refried beans

    everything else is pretty much go.

  7. anything peanut butter + chocolate.

    'memba when i used to eat a family sized bag of peanut butter m&ms during mrs. kimpton's english class? we'd buy them during "senior project" and bring them back. no one told me i was binge eating!

  8. Ha! I love reading everyone's problem foods.

    @jordan and em: i, too, love savory. but something about pregnancy/mamahood has made my sweet tooth go insane. it's unfortunate.

    @ch i love a good chip, too. don't let me get near a seven-layer dip.

    @mandy omg homemade graham crackers?? may i haz recipe? and YES to leftover indian and red licorice! something about twizzlers...i can't stop once i start.

    @kalen ahaha. rhubarb. ahaha. but i bet you'd eat if i PUT IT IN A PIE.

    @mic yes! was it binge eating or simply a survival mechanism to stay awake? hmm.

  9. OK, I was actually thinking about this last night in bed (why? who knows?) and I thought about PICKLES. Give me a jar of zesty dill pickles and they will not be safe. They will be gone in an hour...only if I'm pacing myself.

  10. Chocolate!!! Yesterday, I walked past a See's candy store and was so proud of myself!! Then on the way back to my car, my legs made me walk in, then for some reason, my hands grabbed a couple of boxes, and my mouth devoured pretty much all the deliciousness by lunch today!

  11. I think it's the breastfeeding. When I was breastfeeding I was insane. My weekly lunch menu was basically BLTs, Milky Way bars and McDonald's. Just don't do what I did and keep on that habit after the breastfeeding. It's not pretty.


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