Tuesday, July 27, 2010

I waited a whole 6 months

In happier times. Minutes before Doogie made her discovery.

I've tried my damndest not to be that crazytown first time mama who calls/crashes the doctor's office for every little thing. When she was a newborn, I chatted with the ped over the phone about her stuffy nose. And other than that? I've been able to stick to her regular well child visits.

Uh. Until yesterday.

As I nursed her on the front porch (pretty sure the shrubs hide me...pretty sure) I saw a little spot upon her marshmallow skin. On her scalp a couple inches above her temples. If she had hair, I wouldn't have noticed it. But she doesn't, so I did. It was red and underneath the surface and didn't disappear when I pressed on it. After checking with Dr. Google, I decided her brain was probably bleeding.

What? You don't see the LEAKING BRAIN FLUID?!

But it was so teeny teeny tiny small that I felt semi-psycho about bringing her in. And so I called instead and asked for a call back. Which I didn't get. So then I had to call after-hours care. And they told me it was probably fine, but worth a visit today. Which kind of made me want to puke, because they didn't just say "It's DEFINITELY nothing! Go drink a cream soda!"

This morning, the dot/spot/brain bleed was lighter and looked even more insignificant. But I still felt a nagging worry about it. So I took her into doctorman. Who was so nice about it, really. Assured me its size and color and one-off status made it harmless. And then asked me if I was maybe just worried that she'd have a noticeable red mark on her head. Uh no. Do I really look that vain? (Don't answer that.)

Now that we're home and she's obviously fine and the dot looks even lighter and I can finally breathe, I realize I was suffering under some kind of pre-period (yes, it's actually back -- last time was just a side effect from shitty birth control -- so now Clay and I will be sleeping in different beds until I'm ready to try again, say 2012?) insanity. Like, truly, the hormones made me 100% believe that a small dot on my child's head was the end of my peaceful little life. I was pacing my whole house, hyperventilating, crying, pulling on my hair, eating her little cheeks like they were about to disappear forever. I wish it were on tape, really. I could say it was a documentary on NUTJOBS and win something. Like a free cream soda.

(Oh yeah - I changed my blahhg layout. Chu likey?)

4 comments:

  1. Me likeys.

    Poor Mama Bear. I SAW THE LEAKING FLUID TOO, AMY!

    Mm, cream soda. Figure out what's half way between CO and KY and I'll meet you there for a cream soda and further medical obsesssing.

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  2. a) love the new blog layout!

    b) amazing that you haven't done this before with the doctor over the nothing! My doctor loves me because seriously she could just have me and Lucy as patients. I mean Lucy - not me... we're in there a lot. And whenever we travel we seem to visit that loction's local doctor as well. Oy.

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  3. Wow! I am shocked it took you almost 6 months to do this. I called the minute we got home with my first because I was sure she had breathing problems and then all kinds of other times. lol
    Love the new layout and look forward to when your tweetcation is over!! :)

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  4. I have also managed 1 year and a half without crazy doctor visits... I have been *this* close, though... like, um, on a daily basis! Glad it was nothing :)

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