Monday, October 18, 2010

Mortal enemies

What first may appear to be an idyllic park view, complete with fall foliage and a charming pond, at closer look becomes a goose gauntlet. I'm shaking just looking at this picture.

You may remember my slight fear of birds? I blame a pet-shop-parrot-attacking-my-cherubic-face early childhood incident as well as many run-ins with angry, angry swans down at the cranberry bog near my old house on Cape Cod. They hiss and sprint and bawk and oh noes they are evil.

Birds. Bad.

Our 'hood is a few blocks away from a huge park. Full of trees and flowers and little ponds and swings and other lovely park-type things. However! Water = birds. And birds = no BJA.

So I usually drive to other parks instead of partaking in ours. That seems rather embarrassing to type. Tho all too true, all too true.

Today I got brave and ventured out. The water was so crispy and it seemed so silly to drive anywhere for swing time. I tiptoed past each gaggle of geesebutts I saw, cringing and sweating and cursing. Oblivious, Harps yelled her trademark "HAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!"

Children are to be seen-not-heard, little one. SEEN. SEEN.

She doesn't care.

We did, in fact, make it out alive. So barely, so barely. I saw you all as my life flashed before my eyes. Just wanted you to know.


  1. While not really afeard of birds, I feel ya'. There's a major pigeon gauntlet right near us on a key street-that-I-need-to-take-to-get-to-places route. The trees are packed with menacing pigeons in this Hitchcock homage kinda way. I can't help looking up and then wish I hadn't.

  2. Aw, Poor BJA! I love geese, etc. but I know a fair few people scared of birds -- it sucks becuase they're pretty unavoidable.

    Maybe you should have a talksies with HJ about not bringing Mama's Fear Flocking to her!

  3. Geese can be okay, but I've run into far to many who are mean. And the ones who are used to being fed and are thus friendly aren't necessarily better, since they'll stalk you looking for food. I'd avoid them too.


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