Look! I exist!

I realized recently there are almost zero pictures of me these days. Wonder why? It's like there's something else, just a teensy bit cuter, that's replaced me? Hmm.

 But anywhoz. Clay was taking some cute pics of the scone baby this weekend and instead of hiding, I grabbed her and struck a pose. So here! I'm real! I exist!

In other news, the weekend was lovely. Got most things I wanted to checked off the list, though we didn't get to visit inside the house (current tenants out-of-town) OR visit the Biscuit Bus (didn't coincide with naptime).  However! We still swung by the new pad and I ogled the backyard, actually getting a little teary picturing us back there -- planting flowers, sipping lemonade, making a tiny snowman. No idea what came over me -- I don't even have pregnancy to blame anymore...

Oh and I guess we also didn't trade the wagon for a Suby. (Maybe all I really got done this weekend was watching LOST and eating yummy foods? Oh and the baseball game! We did make it there. Shew.) We're still going to ditch the wagon (it's not 4WD and is just overall janky), but I'm going to take over the new truck and Clay's going to get a little zip zip sporty car. Feeling a tad intimidated by the HUGEness of the 4Runner, but I do enjoy its badassness. Vroom vroooooomz.

And finally, I fell in l-o-v-e with Cafe Rio. I'd read about its radness on a few Morm Utah-based blogs, but oh my heavens that s&*t is good. Hopefully you live in Cali, Colo, Utah or a few other Western states becase apoiru0294-(8s43!!! Dee-lish. I shall now eat there for every lunch I can. Amen.

Your weekend? Was it good?

Mem day

Dudes. I need a vacay.

Three day weekend, frands! And this is the first one in a long while that will actually feel like Mem Day. Blue skies, warm air, ice cream cones, flip flops, sweat. Stuff like that there. Because in San Francisco? There is wind and scarves and hot cocoa. In years past, I'd read people's Facebook statuses or tweets -- all about tan lines and junk -- and I'd hang my head. Then put on my mittens.

So! I'm more than a little excited for the days ahead. Harps and I are kicking things off in the 'burbs with our new pals, scoping out the yardsales and enjoying the mountain view. Nothing crazy on the sched for the rest of our days, but I'd like to:

1) Visit the new pad! I'll take some pics for ya'll to gawk at.

2) Hunt down the Biscuit Bus and scarf a biscuit. Aw, yeah.

3) Take Harps for her first swim in our ("our") pool.

4) Drive somewhere Colorado-y with the fam. You know -- trees, a river, maybe some mountains.

5) Rockies game! (Just snagged some tix.)

6) A couple dinners or lunches or brunches or snacks outside.

7) LOST finale. Yeah, we're real behind. Pretty much know what happened already -- life with a babe!

8) Trade in the wagon for a Subaru. Denver? You own me.

And whatta 'bout you guys? I know my SF pals will be snowboarding, but the rest of you should put on that SPF and eat some cupcakes. Kah? Kah.

My honeybunchesofoats

Man, I love that little bald head. I'll be sad when she grows hair and I can't sniff/smush her candy skin all day. Though if you look at old pics of her mama and dad, I've got quite a few more months to enjoy.

Un-homeless (and some unrelated pics)

Guys. I'm so ridiculously happy with the Denver pad we just snagged! All love and thanks and kisses go to Clay, who found the listing/toured/filled out app/interviewed/emailed/moneyed, etc! I was nervous we wouldn't get it (probably adding to my sad sackness yesterday), but hallelujah hurrah huzzah we did!

So what is it? An adorable, full-of-character-and-cool-architecture house right near a great park/shops/things! It's got hardwoods and a yard and plenty of space and a lurvely kitchen to bake cupcakes and and and! It's exactly the type of place I was excited to live, now that we're out of The Most Expensive City Ever.

We don't move in till early July, so we'll be hanging downtown for another month or so. I plan on using the time to scout out my new library branch, grocery store, jogging route, and Starbucks, hip/local coffee shop.

I'm starting the family-you-should-come-here-for-Thanksgiving campaign...now!

Mommy dating

So I have a buddy guy husband and I have a biscuit love baby, but I seriously need some good mom friends. And to get them, I need to date them. In the words of my friend Jeanne, "It's like J-high again, but this time you have an infant on your person instead of 10 binders."

I had my second round of playgroup today. And it was...fine. Nothing crazy or out-of-the-ordinary or even blog-worthy happened. I hung with a couple moms and their babies and then Harper fell asleep and we drove home and I stopped at a Starbucks (drive-thru! such a novelty to a city girl) and...cried. I'm not even really sure why, but I did. Not a sobfest, just one of those pathetic, silent, Indian-picking-up-trash-by-the-road [[post-edit because my husband thinks that sounds crazy/racist: I'm referencing the commercial from the 70's! he put it in the comments!]] cries.

Don't get me wrong -- I'm really fine. It just feels lonely to be new. To be "on" all the time and worried that whatever little comment I make will forever brand me the overprotective mom (I use a video monitor) or the not-protective-enough mom (took me till today to find a new pediatrician) or too preppy (beemer wagon!) or too crunchy (cloth diapers!) or whatever.

Also? I'm irreverent and nerdy and non-religious and non-boozing and judgey. So finding a lurve match can be tough. But I'm sure everyone feels that way, right? That they're fancy and unique and unicorn-y and complex to mesh with.

So I guess it's simple, really. I just miss old friends who know me and know Clay and put up with our quirks and sauciness and love us anyway.

*eats my feelings*

Happy weekendz!

Hope it's as yummy as a baby sprinkled with cupcake crumbs.

I'm trying

We all know about my inability to dress our daughter like a lady. I favor white onesies, navy sweats, black hoodies. What can I say? That's what I feel comfy in, so I treat her the same.

But it's finally getting to me. All those "how old is HE?" and "aw, what a cute little GUY" and on and on and on. So I'm trying to make things a little clearer to the outside world. Not signing up for 24/7 bubblegum pinkness, but I'm definitely making a concerted effort to punch up the girl quotient.

Mom and I went shopping last week and snagged some super cute girly tanks. They're great because for now, I can layer 'em up over a onesie. And for summer, they can go solo. And I have to admit, I'm loving her little pinkover.

Trying really hard not to write about diapers

Because...that's weird, right? To be really obsessed with cloth diapers? And all the different combos you can do? Prefolds with a (blue! or yellow! or pink!) cover? Fitted (mauve paisley! or skulls!) without? Hemp inserts? Special soap? Cute little bags to hold the dirties?

Harps and I took a trip to a cloth diaper store today. And it was awesome. I got some new stuff for nighttime after chatting with the peeps hanging and working there. Then I skipped out of there and sang a lullaby to Mother Earth.

HELP ME.

Okay, um, what else what else what else.

WHAT ELSE.

We're still house huntin' over here. If we were on HGTV, we'd be obsessed with stainless steel appliances and a double vanity and an open floor plan and perfectly painted walls and plenty! of! space! for! entertaining! (How many parties do these people have???) But instead, we're still trying to figure out the perfect 'hood for us and how much a yard matters and whether we care about hardwoods. AND WHERE WILL I HANG MY DIPES OUT TO DRY.

F. That didn't work.

Um.

Oh! I called a sitter today. *faints* Clay's assistant at work gave us a rec and I finally called her today, after nearly throwing up from fatigue. I'm not ready to head out the door with a jaunty wave, but I think I'm ready to take a nap in the back room while someone plays with Harps. I think. (I'm actually seriously queasy thinking about doing this. So any "you can do it!" words would be much appreciated...)

But wait! Will the sitter be able to do the cloth diaper thing? Will I need to keep buying disposables? Maybe if I get one of those half disposable/half not combinations that'll work? Is there a --

I...I'm sorry. It's hopeless.

My favorite time of day

Never thought I'd say this -- and of course I wish she'd sleep later -- but morning is now a happy time.

Harps wakes up between us (her last shift of sleep is in our bed), smiling and cooing. We take turns sleepily smooshing her cheeks and kissing her forehead, inhaling her marshmallow scent. I slowly pull her toward me for a milky breakfast while Clay takes a shower. When she's done, I sit her on my lap and she watches her daddy get dressed. She stalks his every move -- clothes on, hair combed, shoes picked -- wide-eyed and smiling. Before he leaves for work, there are more cuddles on the bed while I fumble for my glasses and put on some sweats. There are group hugs and kisses and Clay is soon out the door, leaving his ladies to start their day.

Very important developments

1) Clay bought us a twenty dolla iced tea machine yesterday. My life is now complete. And my teeth are never going to be the same. (Manic ice crunching. Yellow stains.)





2.) Thanks to some hand-me-downs from my lovely cousin, Christie (via my mom's suitcase), I'm now doing the cloth diaper thing. And totally loving it. Wasn't sure if I could handle the change or really understand how to make it work without leaks and catastrophes, but so far so great! We even bundle her bum up at night without issue.

(**Full disclosure, middle-of-the-night post edit: I totally jinxed myself here. Just had our first leak. Doh. Think I'll add an extra layer for nighttime...**)

Only downside so far? Clay's horrified. But let's be honest here; the dude's a great dad, but not a great dipe changer -- even with disposables. So (for me) this isn't a big deal.

Happy to answer any questions thru email for those looking to switch (tho I still have more to learn myself), because I don't want to turn BJA into a potty blahg. But seriously -- if you haz washer and dryer, I can't recommend cloth highly enough.




3.) Harper is rockin' tummy time finally. She used to immediately lose her s%*t when we put her on her belly, but now she hangs out, lifts her head, looks around, and even seems semi-delighted. She eventually cries, but omahgod -- my babe won't still be stuck on her back the first day of kindergarden.





4.) Our first day of playgroup is tomorrow. *obsesses over outfit* And get this -- our little group is called the Junebugs! Perf for our little Harper June, no? Weeeesh us luck!

*tear*

My full-time nanny mom is leaving tomorrow and I'm feeling a bit bummed. It's been a hah-uge help having her here -- more than I even thought it would be. Not only has there been someone here to help jiggle Harps and comfort her and bathe her and snuggle her, there's been someone here to talk to me all day. Which is huge. I rely a little too much on the company of HGTV hosts (what up, Suzanne Whang!), so it's lovely to have someone around who talks back. (In a good way.)

It's shown me I really need:

A) Some palz. But I knew this and I'm working on it. (Mom group let my punk a&$ in! Waiting on a playgroup assignment, which I think will really help get the friend ball rolling...)

B) Some daytime halp. Not a lot, not a ton. But maybe a few hours a week so I can go for a run ("run" -- more like a determined shuffle) or take a nap or go grocery shopping solo. Or pee with the door closed?

Also realized I'm really looking forward to consistently good weather, where I can frolic in a sundress and put Biscuit in her new $2.99 Target girly shirts. (Hearts! Butterflies! Pink!) Because you know what? IT SNOWED HERE. Snow. On the ground. May 12th. Holy Cow-lorado. (Sorry.)

Navy

Baby and mama live in it.

Even if we look like boyz.

Monday, monday

Frandz!


I hope everyone had a great momz day. I loved mine -- extra sleeps while Clay manned the Biscuit, blueberry pancakes, tulips, new hot pink kicks (for the running I'mma start THIS WEEK), new hair products to halp my insane static electricity hair (thanks, Colorado!), Chiptole (there is one ON EVERY CORNER HERE), and a drive through some purty neighborhoods.

Sometimes I get all weird about going places with Harps because I hate when she freaks out in the car and it's just easier to sit on our couch. But I'm so glad Clay pushed my bum out the door and treated me to treats and showed me the world outside babies. Does a mama good!

Of course, I didn't get to see my own mom pants. However! I couldn't feel sad too about this because she's coming in late tonight for a week long visit. YES PLeASe. While I really appreciated the help early on, when she hung in SF with us for 6 weeks, I'm super excited for the help (and c-o-m-p-a-n-y) this week. Instead of a cute little blob baby I was rocking before, I've got a real little person on my hands now, which is... a lot more work. There's no more plunking her down in a bouncy chair while I do the dishes or pull off a hangnail. If I'm looking at something other than her? Loud, loud, loud NoiSeS.

!!!!!!!!!

So! Long story short, I'll love having Grammy around to entertain Her Highness while I pee.

I say happy mama's day!

Harps says talk to the handz.




xo.

(Yesterday, Harps was) 3 months old

Somehow our little crumb cake is three months old. Wha' happened?!

Even though I'm constantly sleep deprived, dressed in men's pit-stained v-necks, and functioning on coffee and Paul Newman's mint oreos exclusively, I can honestly say I love being Harper's mama. Somehow, every night, after 12 or 13 hours together just the two of us, I'm still taken aback by her sweetness and my luck at being given her to raise and protect and smoosh. Call me loco, but I actually miss her when she goes to sleep.

(Though I'm also 10000000% ready for some adult time. Don't get me wrong, peeps - I'm not insane, just in love.)

Enough of the rainbow butterfly unicorn talk.

Here's a video of our little siren, the Junebug.

Quick!

While Harps takes her one reliable nap (the morning variety - usually about 40 minutes - we're 15 minutes in) I somehow bathed, lotioned, dressed, made/drank coffee, and uploaded some new pics. Efficiency gold medalist.

Hadn't hit you with some Biscuit sweetness in a couple days, so here ya go. Check out the drool bubble she's got poppin'. And yes, I do spend most of my days just nibbling on her cheeks.

House hunters

We spent this weekend roaming around the city, checking out neighborhoods for our future home base. The two knowns: We're (almost definitely) sticking with renting and we want to find a house. Other than that...we're pretty open.

It's tough to ignore the insanely beautiful mountains, so maybe we want to find a pad out in the country, where I can run around in a petticoat and sing songs about horses. But on the other hand, I really like being close to...things. Like cafes and shops and other places containing human life forms.

Then there's the issue of lots-of-character-and-neatness-but-probably-old-with-bad-plumbing vs boring-architecture-but-shiny-kitchens-and-no-black-mold. Since we're (most likely) not buying, we're leaning toward the latter. We don't have to live in the place forever, so the coolness factor matters a little less; might as well enjoy some newness while I bake cupcakes.

We're enjoying our downtown loft right now and we've got a little time to figure out our next step. I think we'll get a better feel for what's right for us in the next few weeks.

In the meantime, I'm busy keeping our delicious lil baby milked-up. She's going through her three month growth spurt and girl can EAT. Good to be doing the nursing thing during these spurts, since mad, intense hunger can hit at anytime and her food source is always at the ready. It's tiring, but definitely handy. There was lots of impromptu feeds throughout our weekend jaunts and I was grateful for our feeding routine.

Sorry, (or you're welcome?) Denver, for all the nipple shots!