Last sleep

Climbing trees today in our across-the-street park.

 It feels completely unreal that tonight is our last night in this house. Especially because all of our stuff is still out; I'm cozily watching a little teevs in the front room, surrounded by my books and pics and lamps and pretty blue Ikea curtains. All here tonight, all in boxes tomorrow. Thank you life for providing us with packers and movers -- otherwise, I'd probably be in the fetal position, murmuring sweet nothings to my mind-that-was.

Still, it makes the whole thing (surreal already) even stranger. I found myself throughout the weekend trying to explain to Harper this was her last couple nights here, that Denver would soon be a memory. Over a cereal bar and milk (meals are on the decidedly unfancy side lately), I discussed with her our favorite places and people and things we're leaving behind. She just kept looking around frantically for each thing as I named it, so that game ended pretty quickly. Still. I do believe even tiny tiny ones understand more than we think they do, and I like to imagine she's understanding the change even on a vague level.

I wonder how I'll one day look back on this year-and-a-half in Denver. It was an unbelievably challenging time for us (I do hate to be vague with details on this; they're not my details to share...but oh hell, oh yes, things are in a much better place now) and I think it will be hard not to identify this town with all the scary shit that went down. But at the same time, we found a lot of joy here. We had so many little adventures and laughed and laughed. We learned how to be a real family unit, pretty damn indestructible. We watched Harper learn to crawl and then walk and then talk. We got real healthy, we gained a planet of empathy, we changed for the better. I think we'll look back with a smile.

I'm really excited for this move. It feels right. It feels like mama bear's doing the smart thing for her family, putting us all in a stronger position to thrive and grow and take on whatever life wants to throw our way next.

Kapowpow Connecticut kapow!

Last Thursday mile high ...

Sitting here in my favorite room, the front room. I'mma put up some cute pics before we leave (the ones we lured in Craigslist peeps with), so you can see just how cute. I love it especially because it's the old part of the house, the hundred year part. Weirdly, I've discovered, it's the warmest part. So I'm huddled up here with my hot cocoa (whole milk, I'll have you know, with a peppermint candy melted at the bottom) and my yellow striped sweater and my fists shaking at the Playstation for refusing to play my British mystery on Netflix. So I've turned to the ol' blog instead.

Today we used up our last day of major discounted sporting goods goodness. I would have felt like a complete loser leaving without getting Harps some solid warm stuff for back East so...she scored a couple snow/sledding bibs and a super warm coat and some mittens. I bought myself a hot pink slouchy knit hat.

At one point, as cc and I debated over purple vs pink for her parka, we noticed she was gone. Two minutes ago hiding (pooping) inside of a clothes rack, she was now... no longer. Running/yelling all around the kids section turned up nothing, so my heart started to beat a bit harder. I produced a fast, fast child and wasn't too worried about the kidnapping potential (not because she's so fast no one can catch her - altho maybe? - just that it was more likely she'd bolted) ... but I was worried she'd head for the automatic doors and the parking lot and oh my stop the scary thundercloud thoughts.

I started darting around the clothing racks and shelves, calling her name and asking people for help. Suddenly, a big bulky dude appears and points to the exercise equipment. "I think that might be what you're looking for... I saw a strange small thing dart across the security cameras and came running out." Thanks, security dude!

She was just meandering along the free weights, pointing to the colored ones, naming them, asking "This? This?" Not a care in the world. Scooped her up, smothered her face, gave her a talking to, tried to hide my laughs.

The whole scene was straight out of my mom's and my life, circa 1987-1989, with my little brother T. Sweet Lorna Doone did that kid know how to bolt a scene. How he's a librarian and not a Houdini-type is still surprising to me.

Anywhos, all's well that ends well. Quite certain she learned approximately zero from the whole thing, but miss mama learned she's got a speedy mouse on her hands -- and freestyle pooping under sweatshirts is no longer allowed.

Snow day

Messy, snowday house. Backyard tree bending low, waaaay low. 

We woke up this morning and it had snowed like a moth-ah. And it kept snowing all day long, into the late afternoon and early evening. Dibble dibble dop dop dibble dibble dop dop. (Mr. Brown anyone anyone?)

I'd say we got 9 inches? Because most of the leaves are still cozy on their branches, the look was crazy pretty -- trees smooching the sidewalks and branches jumping ship. I took Harps on a walk early this morning after her face lit up at the sight, and some dude scolded me for having her outside under trees. Blergh. Just trying to have a lil fun, meanman. (But he was right, really.)

It was one of those really cozy and nice days, once we accepted we were stuck inside. (Tho we did all sneak out this morning before the roads were too heinous for a deelicious brunch down the street...) We colored and played with stickers and Skyped with my mom and took naps and read books and ate a lot of mushrooms. (She really, really, really loves cooked mushrooms.)

Watchin a little Caillou. 

Oh, and HJ and I made a grapefruit-and-honey cake together (from the new Mario Batali cookbook which I am licking with love) and then we all three sat at the white table and enjoyed a slice each. (And then I cleaned the bathtub with the leftover grapefruits because I read about it on Pinterest and I guess it made it cleaner? At least I felt like I was doing something earthy and special.)

And then she went to bed and we tried to stay awake and be hip (watch our shows), but sometimes a full long day inside is weirdly exhausting. So it's 9:00 and I'm typing this in bed and I think cc is already asleep. I'm trying to take deep breaths and focus on what a happy day we had and not on this friend...situation that makes brain dribble out my ears. Because it's all going to be behind me in a week -- and life's too short to let your brain dribble. Preach!

(And apropos of nothing side note I realized with a startle today: No one ever tells you being a mom means getting super excited for UPS to come so you can see her try out a new kind of sippy you ordered on Amazon. No one tells you this.)

Safety first

Guys. It's impossible to be too safe. (And backward is cuter, duh.)

What a strange week we're having. Lame duck status in your own home feels weird. I'm being really lazy about the dishes and laundry and everything else cleaning related because, well, who cares? I'll be out in 5 days and then a massive cleaning crew is coming? Tough to get jazzed for sweeping when random dudes are about to bust through your door and pack all your pots and pans and toothpastes into boxes labeled Cohen. Or Dowan. Depending on what mood they're in.

I've said most of my goodbyes and now we're just waiting to hurdle over a couple more hurdles before we hop on a plane and fly East. (Um, we should probably buy those tickets, cc?) I'm finding it hard to really believe we'll be over in another land come a week -- just like I found it hard to believe I was graduating high school or college when I still had 5 major papers to write and 12 missing library books to find under my bed. Until it's all wrapped up in a bow and done done done, I won't really think it's real. But hey, I do have that BU diploma hiding out somewhere (in my mom's closet maybe?), so if it happened before it'll happen again...Right?

Night, lovelies.

Weekend in review

This weekend we:

Munched on waffles (the best I've ever had, no joke. If you live/are visiting Denver, run-don't-walk to Waffle Brothers!) with the Evans'. Harps is falling more and more in lurve with Naveen these days (grabbed his hand as we left and wouldn't let go), so it's even sadder to say goodbye. However, we're probably only a few months away from them sneaking out their bedroom windows to rendezvous at midnight, so Clay's probably relieved.

Ate up at our favorite sushi place. (Notice a theme here? I tend to really miss the food we leave behind, so I'm on a frantic tour of our standbys.) As usual, HJ crushed: seaweed salad, tofu, edamame, tempura, and -- her first -- mango mochi. She keeps asking if we'd reconsider Connecticut and head to Japan instead.

Lots of reading and cuddles. The mornings and nights around here are getting chilly, making snuggles that much cozier inside. Cheddar bunnies and raisins in a paper cup. Hand-me-down turtlenecks from beloved bloggy friends.

Not pictured: Feeding the ducks at Wash Park (she alternates eating the stale raisin bread and throwing it at their heads), mucho sidewalk chalk drawing, waving to the grizzlies and seals and giraffes at the Denver Zoo with our pals (I hate goodbyes), kicking around a pink soccer ball at the park, and long naps. And avoiding my laundry mountain.

I can't really say I've done too much in the way of obvious prep for our almost-here move... But! The most important things have been done. We are officially OFF OUR LEASE after some serious struggles with our d*ckhead landlord. Wee! We've got the packers/movers scheduled to come and a lease ready-to-sign for our temporary housing in Connecticut. The rest is just... details? Let's hope.

Here's to a good week...and a Texas World Series!

Thursday's always been my favorite day

Coloring at the park with Dada. (Body art is much more interesting, however.)

Happy Thursday, trusty friends!

Right now, I'm:

• Eating my third "fun size" (not fun enough) Butterfinger of the morning. Durn Halloween.
• Listening to Charlie Brown Christmas on repeat. Every morning, dudes.
• Wearing in my new Target flowery thermal shirt. I get a couple every few months at 15ish dolla a pop and wear 'em to death.
• Listening to HJ and cc play quietly together in the upstairs loft. And suddenly a huge thump. Uh.
• Looking forward to getting my hairs did this afternoon.
• Giddy for Project Runway tonight. Team...I don't know? I miss Anthony Ryan.
• Reading pages of this book.
• Closing the computer for a long walk in the yellow leaves with my lady.

Oh, but don't we all need a little Harper right now?

Girlfriend loves her some pumpkins.

Thaaank you all for the well wishes on moving! I'm just happy and peaceful about it all -- ready to take it on and make it work Tim Gunn style. I'm not so into the awkward stuff that comes with moving, however. Just the... goodbyes and the getting-out-of-leases and the feeling that you're mildly upsetting people all over the place. Ew. We've got a couple serious applicants looking to take over our house, tho, so fingers crossed that particular obstacle will be karate chopped soon...

Now! Onto the delicious picture above. Don't you love when a plan comes together? As in, you have a romantic idea of pumpkin picking and your tiny person actually goes along with it and happily? This is not exactly reliable (you will love this Indian pudding I loved as a kid! No...no I won't, mom) and so I appreciate it wholly when it happens.

Harps flippin loved the pumpkins. Picking each one up, lovingly caressing them, sitting, posing. A little happy pumpkin person with flurffy blonde hair! The girl is mine mine mine, the girl is mine.

And while we're at it, here's a lil video from this morning. (Before we hit full speed ahead on cleaning up and showing our house to 12 million people.) She's going thru her little alphabet puzzle pieces... My favorite part, very subtle but you can maybe catch it, is around the 58 second mark -- when she gives me this look after realizing I'm taping her. She is always onto me. Always.

Press play on some David Bowie

Our daily walk.

Your trusty gypsy lady is packing up her hobo bag (the kind on a stick you sling over your shoulder while smoking a corncob pipe and kicking a can) and heading East with her family.

Weeeeeee!

It's true, friends. We've officially lost our minds and are officially moving yet again. This time it's for keepsies, though. (Okay, I'm making no permanent claims on exact city or state for 10+ years, but the general area, yes!)

The lurvely and handsome and so-smart-it's-kind-of-annoying cc snagged a great gig at a company in Connecticut and we're packing up all our little and big things next month to head that way. It's kind of unbelievably exciting and great, but also stressful and small parts sad. While it's no secret I've been angling to get back near my people since life changed in some major ways (that'd be with baby and health stuff), once the decision had been made (last week) I got an instant pang about leaving my pretty little bungalow and the people who have been so good to us during such a crazy year.

Changes, even when they're ones you want, are bumpy feeling. Harps will tell you all about it -- her least favorite thing in all the land are transitions. (Hold onto your head if you try and get her to leave somewhere. Or change activity. Or put on a sweatshirt.)

So! Yes! Wild and nuts, no? And hilarious that we're moving to definitely the WASPiest and yuppiest place on planet earth. (But also v close to NYC via train. I will be seeing Alvin Ailey shows whenever I damn well please huzzah!)

Cue an insane month!

Out to eat

If she's got crayons and a coloring book (or random napkin scrap) she'll stay pretty focused and content. If the restaurant doesn't have 'em, we can play sugar packet games or move around the hot sauce bottles. There's also sipping water ("izzzzzzy" if it's sparkling) and crunching ice. We can get time to move along, but it's fairly exhausting.

I need to pull my act together, bite the bullet, and make a Kid Kit for all our eating out adventures. Come on, BabySitter's Club fans. You know you're out there.

Could I get dorkier? No.

Meghan, Cal, Steph, moi, Nik. (Reuinted and it feels so gooooooood.)

 

Sunday I attended a seriously gorgeous wedding in the woods of Massachusetts. The ceremony was by a pond, we chatted under towering pines, and finished the night toasting s'mores around a campfire. Hello. But best of all, I got to catch up with many of my best friends from growing up. Dude, I chose wisely back then because I still love these ladies (and fellas) and would make them my own again, 15+ years later. I talked and laughed and talked and laughed and it was great. (And exhausting. I actually got in the car and cried for a second before going home? It was...too much to process or something.)

Okay but also. Look at the picture up top. Ain't we cute? But also. Why am I so dorky? Why am I holding a beer bottle like I'm 12 and it's my first time drinking? (12 was not my first time drinking -- don't worry, parental units. I was much too busy reading Johnny Tremain alone in my room and listening to Abbey Road on repeat.) And what's up with my legs akimbo stance? I was gettin ready to do my booty shake dance that showed up a couple hours later on the dance floor, I s'pose...

Anywho. Awesome night dot com. And I'm a nerd. Bye!

Ack! I haz blog, don't I?

Little Orphan Annie enjoys a grape.

Woah! Major radio silence. Lo siento! Forgot to mention ahead of time, but cc and HJ and I went on (and the latter ladies are still on) a top secret mission trip. I'm semi serious. I'm also sort of feeling lazy about recounting all the travel, so for now I'll just say we've been everywhere in New England ever and boy are my arms tired.

I made the strange decision not to bring a computer, so I can only typey type when I can steal/borrow a loaner and it hasn't been often.

Right now, I'm so honkin tired I can't even. Second night in a row of solo drivin to a wedding (with both ways being 2 hours) and I can't really see straight. Pretty sure I heard that Adele song 25,000 times and pretty sure I was okay with it every single one.

By the way, do you ever behave in a super-mature-for-you way and look around to get a high five or something? But then of course no, no one but your mom would probably do that. So you just give yourself little mini high fives in the bathroom stall and drink some more coffee? That just happened. It was nice!

Off to snooze land. I'll get back on this!

Mister R

Does she look sad here? That's just her look of complete engrossment, no worries. I introduced her to a little Mister Rogers today -- her first taste of my favorite, favorite person. I wasn't sure if she'd like it just yet (it's very very gentle, which I love) but of course she did, of course. As soon as he walked in the door and started singing and putting on his cardigan and changing his shoes, she was hooked.

And now, the familiar sounds of Lady Elaine Fairchild and King Friday are wafting this way and it's filling me with the most intense and happy nostalgia for my own faraway days of little persondom. Sharing these tiny things from my life with her just feels cozy. Perfect for a rainy, lazy Monday.