Goodbye, so yong, fah-well ah friends.

I haven't been posting these past slew of days because 1) We've been busy wrapping up summertime with all of that swimming and ice creaming and muumuu wearing we like to do and 2) I had a lump in my throat and didn't want to write this post. (Spoiler: Everyone's fine.)

The truth is, after much (much too much to be honest) thinking, I've decided to close up shop at BJA.

I've gone back and forth so many times; totally convincing myself it was the right thing during Monday's shower and then totally convincing myself it wasn't during Wednesday's. (I don't shower everyday, okay?) Back and forth, rinse repeat, apply conditioner liberally.

This little project here has been chugging along -- through Los Angeles days and San Francisco days, pre-engagement days and wedding planning days, honeymoon days and pregnancy days, newborn days and dog days and scary days and awesome ones -- for six (6!) years and it seems so very strange to say goodbye.

But something won't stop tapping me on shoulder: "You're done now, I think." It's just a feeling that keeps coming back.

I've made real friends over here. Friends I really hope to meet in person one day that I never would have met otherwise. I had no idea that would happen when I wrote my first post about... Ashlee Simpson's new hair color, I believe? (I miss you, Ash!) It seems almost magical that there are now people sprinkled throughout the country/world who know me and my bi'ness and send me well wishes and funny emails and homemade underwear. It makes me feel really lucky; these people got me through some very dark times.

The interesting thing, though, and one of the central reasons I'm stopping, is I feel like some of my real life relationships sometimes get funky because of what I write here. I don't mean anything crazy dramatic by that (and I'm not talking about life with cc or Harper), I just mean: When you put your life online and then tell people you know where they can read about it, things can get a little lopsided/one-sided in friendships. They know what I wore to Whole Foods last night, I have no idea where they live now. It's only normal, but I'm ready to move on from that.

I'm also ready to give HJ a bit more online privacy. I'm all over the map when it comes to my feelings about kids and the Internet, but something in my gut is telling me to step back right now.

And I'm ready to write new things, different things. I've got a new story underway that I hope to devote a lot of time to. Maybe I'll start a salty anonymous Tumblr where I can be a lot more irreverent and inappropriate. Maybe. I just know I love to write and have many little stories and words inside of me I want to put out there. Just gots to find the right how.

I'm dragging this out too long already, I know. So I'll leave it alone with this:

Thank you, thank you, thank you to everyone who has read along and cheered along and brought me and my family such brightness and laughter and support these past six years. I'm really going to miss this cozy space of mine. It's been so good for me.

All the best, friends.

Wednesday (how's it only Wednesday?)

I'll always love this picture because it will always remind me of the day we hung at the children's museum, most of which was spent in line waiting for a ride on their solar powered train. Of which Harper was obsessed with. 

The whole thing was really poorly orchestrated, so Jones and I had to wait almost an hour to get our turn, but she was such a champ. Running around a little, talking up strangers, drinking a juicebox, playing an impromptu dress-up sesh with random things in my bag.

"Are you sad we're missing the train, Mommy?"

"I am! I am." (I really was... I was much more distraught than she was. Maybe because I knew those thunder rumbles might take away our dream. Maybe because I have the patience of an infant.)

"Don't wu-rry! I'll find it!"

Love her buns.

Speaking of buns! Her first undies arrived tonight via the miracle of Amazon Prime and she is just deliciously delicious in them. What a lil lady.

Now! Let's just hope she can pull it togethah and not wake up for the fourth night in a row at 3:02 on the dot. First night she was upset about all the "hot water!!!!!"(?), the second night there was a bug in her blanket (no, there wasn't), and last night... I forget; my brain was leaking a little bit by that point.

So wish me luck gettin' through those wily hours? Thanks to you!

I just walked to Whole Foods in the dark to get cc some ginger snaps

So I'm running low on batteries. We also started this morning with Harper requesting a robot costume (which we produced), so. Busy day.

But because I'm realizing more and more this ol' blog is to document for me, for my family, our days together -- I didn't want to forget to remember the little summer supper picnic on the beach I forced upon my two favorites. A vision quest complete!

I bought some sammies and chips and pickles and iced teas and peaches. I put out the red blanket and handed Harper some low budget beach toys (two cups). The ocean air was still warm, but not chilly yet, and we ate our foods and then made sand castles and then I snuck away to swim a bit solo while they played. Joy!

And then I scolded cc because didn't he want to take pictures of his two ladies playing? Hello! We're adorable.

(And now summer may come to a close and fall may bring along not-burning-like-a-fire temperatures and deliciously spicy chais.)

Before I zonk

Harper June: If you ever read this little blog someday, I want you to know the nurse at your pediatrician's office today (it was check-up time) told me you are, and I quote: "literally the strongest 2-year-old" she's ever met. "No, I mean it."

Sure, she found this out when you kicked the sh*t out of her trying to give you a shot. And sure, she had to give you said shot two times because of your Hulk-like insanity. But details, details. As she said: "It's a good thing -- just...very intense. Warn her future nurses."

Man. I love having such a feisty and smart and strong daughter. Keep it up, Jones. Pow pow!

Please someone tell my dog to lie down and sleep it's nighttime

Much to cc's horror, I now own (and wear) (in public) a muumuu. It's glorious.

But hey, he's wearing plaid shorts and winter socks while watching women's gymnastics sooooooo. So.

And now, three things about the song "My Boyfriend's Back" by, apparently, The Angels:

1) I used to (1990ish) sing with abandon the following lyrics:

He went away and you hung around
And bothered me, every night
And when I wouldn't go out with you
You said things that weren't very nice

At this point, I am so disturbed by her prudishness I don't know where to begin.

2) I was so into this song back in 6th grade (I've always been extremely timely) that I wrote new lyrics to it for a Nancy Drew book report. And then performed it in front of my class. Pretty sure no other 11-year-olds had any idea what I was doing. (I'm also tickled by the fact I was already academically mailing it in back then. Nancy Drew? Amy, Amy, Amy.)

3) Harper love love loves this jam. (I've got it on an old mix CD a friend made me years ago.) I'll be scanning through the tunes and this comes on and she yells out "I like this one!!!!" before I can change it. Like (crazy) mother like (crazy) daughter.

Happy end 'o week!

Training

Let's all agree that "potty training" is a completely embarrassing phrase to say out loud, putting on blast just how far you've come from the days of sleeping-till-1, brunches made from micro greens, another nap at 3, and then drinking an artisanal beer or something.

Last week after my dance class, I asked the owner what age kids can start.

"Three."

"Oh! Great. And I assume they need to be potty trained?" (Wince. I carried a watermelon?!)

(Extra strength silence, look of disgust, etc. etc.) "God. Yes."

Terrible.

All that being said, we're doing...that right now.

And it's been pretty breezy. I'm basically housebound and grounded -- and my house looks terrifying for it -- but there aren't any crazy stories (and if there were, I probably wouldn't want to tell on her to the Internets...probably).

Part of that is we haven't ventured out into the scary Westport world yet (and I'm sure there will be adventures then, oh I'm suuuure) and part of that is because I waited till she was ready ready ready. I mean honestly, I'm dragging my feet even now because...diapers are easy. And I'm tired. And truthfully, I'm just not ready for her to be an un-baby yet. But it was time.

So my biggest p'training tip? Watch for signs of readiness. Then ignore them and wait six months. They'll nail it.

Sundee

Summer is so nice. Let's keep it summer longer.

cc has summer hours on Fridays and can be with us for much of the day, so our weekends are feeling longer/lusher/lovelier. Friday we went to the ocean and flew our kite and swam, we all went shopping on rainy Saturday (Harper no joke LOVES to shop... dangerous), today there was pool swimming/ice cream eating/sushi slurping/walking-along-the-watering. (Oh and! America's Funniest Video watching. So 1990s Sunday night family bonding of us.)

She's so worn out by the end of the day, I can get her to sleep at 7:30 if I pull my act together. Magical.

("Wow! Insta-Hang! Wow!" is what cc's saying re: an infomercial right now.)

Oh! I also forgot we watched the opening ceremonies (Opening Ceremonies?) on Friday night and delighted ourselves with our "I thought Abe Lincoln was American?" etc. commentary. And Bob Costas/Matt Lauer's North Korea joke killed it. And sure, of course doves should ride bicycles. We were also WTFing about the huge Ralph Lauren logos on the costumes. (Costumes?) Harper just kept asking where all the "running and jumping" was.

Oh! I also got to watch a former high school classmate (played soccer "with" her, too tho -- mostly that entailed camps and tryouts/conditioning every summer, since once fall started I was JV'ing it up hardcore on a different field and she was dominating Varsity...) race on the women's Olympic cycling team this morning. She made a real play to medal (came in first for the Americans, but we got beat) and it was so crazy to see her chatting with interviewers pre-race and then speeding along on camera all zip zip. My town's super small, yo! So that was fun.

And now my dog's asleep and cc's trying to talk me into buying a house on an island, and I need some Mexican chocolate ice cream all up in hurr.

Life's a beach (sorry)

So I finally got our town beach sticker yesterday, after signing away my parental rights to any future children, donating all the blood in my body, and saying Rumpelstiltskin three times. Really, tho -- you need a copy of my lease?! And car registration info?! And my child's birth date?! What about, say, a piece of mail and a handshake?

However, it's 35 dolla for the sticker and 30 dolla per day without, so I tap danced for it.

Then we went to the beach and she was so beside herself with manic glee, I felt guilty for taking the two weeks to get it. Of course, she's currently obsessed with singlehandedly removing every piece of seaweed from the ocean, so... she's probably just upset I cut into her work hours.

It's fun having an ocean (or sound) beach that is actually swimmable. I'm used to standing up to my ankles, shivering numbly, and then running back to the burning hot sand -- and rinse repeat rinse. Here, Harps "swims" up to her armpits and I've even been known to duck under. (When she's not looking, obviously. Going under is not permitted behavior.)

I used to love being at the beach all day, but now I feel like my skin is getting crunchy under the disappearing ozone and the sand, the sand, the sand in my grapes! I think 1-2 hours is a nice little visit before we strip off the suits and run around in oversize tshirts under the comfort of a roof. Hence, the beach sticker; we can come and go and come and go and my wallet isn't mad. (But my future kids might be.)

Princesspants

Maybe my favorite picture ever.

Doesn't Harper look like the Princess in Super Mario Bros. 2? She's about to fly after that kite.

Tho when I call that her "princess dress" (she wears it for a chunk of everyday), she yells at me. "It not a princess dress! It a dress-up dress!" As my mom would say to her, "Don't be such a square, Harps." ("It's not a leaf, Grammy! It's a MAPLE LEAF." I fear the teenage years, people.)

So today was pretty great. We've got a new sitter who we met last week, loved, and started today. (And she's a preschool teacher. Dude.) She'll be coming about 4 hours a week (for the summer) and it totally blows my mind I have a few hours to myself. My-self!

I made sure the house was primed for success: Put out a special treat for HJ (crazy cookie sticks you dip into chocolate and strawberry frosting) and set out a craft (glue and Q-tips and dried pasta/beans for glueing) and made sure there were other delightful things sprinkled around. They were gluing as I kissed her goodbye and she literally yelled "Bye bye Mommy!!!!!"

Don't let the door hitcha!

So. First, I got a sweet tea. And I parked and sipped in cc's truck while I read my Anne Tyler book. Then I got my guts up (is that a saying?!) and went to a dance class at this studio literally within walking distance of my house (and nothing is within walking distance to my house -- except this place). I have no idea why I haven't gone before -- I stare at it everyday and obsess over their online schedule and really, really miss dancing. I guess it's just hard to make the times work and hard to take that first step (ha, step). Like -- will I have the right shoes/clothes/payment form. (Certified money orders only. Or maybe only coins.)

Some places are all real leotards and tights and sh*t. Some are sweatpants and no bra. You feel like an idiot if you're in your Groton-Dunstable Regional High School tee while everyone else is pulling on their Capezio. And vice versa. But I'd found a couple pics online and I Sherlock'd it out (yoga pants and a tank top) and brought along my worn-in ballet shoes. First class was free, so that was easy. And people were smiley and kind of old. Also a bonus! (There were high schoolers, tho, too. It was a bizarre mix. I blame it on the summertime?)

Anyways. Not to bore the non-dancers, but I had the time of my liiiiiiiiiife, Patrick Swayze. We did a warm-up to songs from Chicago and I had tears in my eyes I felt so at home. Pitiful! But then I became a normal person again and just had so much fun. And was really out of breath. And mad that society has decided chunky yoga pants should be worn for everything. Bring me some tights, sista!

Oh, dance. My firstest love.

*rubs Ben Gay all over and falls asleep at 9*

Sundee

That's my kid trying to sit inside a bowl.

Good weekend over here. Visited the big as$ library sale a couple times and scored some treasures, had an old HS friend spend the night and chatted it up, ate sushi and Magnolia cupcakes and Shake Shack, did manymanymany crafts with Jones and blew bubbles and chased my dog around. Watched cc and HJ leave on a bike ride, discovered the best grocery store in the world probablydefinitely (Fairway, you have my heart forevermore), slept in, played Just Dance 3, almost hit cc in the head a few times whacking whiffle balls he pitched me. He just doesn't ever want to admit my intense athletic skills, people. (No fine, I don't really have them -- but I do want him to admit that I'm, surprisingly, not particularly unathletic either.)

I didn't do much cooking this week and want to make up for it this. Got cc to bookmark a million things in my Ming Tsai book and that should help me choose some new stuff. We've got a couple music classes, maybe a playdate or two, a few hours of babysitting, and hopefully some ocean time.

Still jonesing for the citylife a couple times a week, but I think I'm getting into the rhythm of this place. Happy weekaweek!

Sitting next to my back-home-again-cc

Inspired by my dear friend Mandy, I've been giving Harps lots of outdoor tubbies in an aluminium bucket/bin (I'm missing the actual word here, but am too tired to care)... She's increasingly wary of the actual tub, so this is a seriously good solution to get the areas soaked and, at least partially, scrubbed. Good enough for government work.

What a ridiculously HOT summer, non? Thankful for our central air (never had that growing up), but bummed we have to limit most of our outdoor play to early morning raspberry picking and late afternoon soaks. It's just so steamy otherwise and there have been massive afternoon storms, too. George is not a fan.

Just ordered a book called The Preschooler's Busy Book for more ideas to keep us, well, busy inside. There's already lots of crafting and playdough and dance parties and such, but girlfriend is constantly asking "What's next?!" and I'ze gots to keep up. Whew.

Sundee

Can I just give a shout out to the iPhone? If it weren't for that sucker, I'd have a million (and a half) newborn pictures of my kid and nothing else. Hearts.

This has nothing to do with the nakie raspberry pic above, but remember that book He's Just Not that Into You? (Of course you do.) (I actually went to a taping of that guy's show because a friend was on it and I was her guest? A story for another time.) Do you think he'd mind if I made a similarly themed book about mom friendships? I'll pay him a few of the dimes, maybe.

It's just that I've uncovered so many different rules/themes/hints while I navigate these rocky SAHM shores and maybe I need to share them with the world. Or maybe I'm not quite ready yet, seeing as I'm always scratching my head at the weird things that are always happening.

Had some pretty blue days last week, moping about a couple friend things and feeling oh-so-sorry for myself... and today I feel a galaxy away from how I was feeling then. Because once you realize all o' the sudden "oh! she's just not that into me!" you can just relax and move onto the nice peeps who are into you, with the nice emails and get-together offers and so on and so forth.

Sometimes I fight too hard to make friendships work that aren't even that awesome in the first place. I get this idea that we're meant! to! be! buds! because maybe we had a few fun times and meh. It doesn't always work like that. As cc once said to me about a bumpy friend situation (that lasted much too long - I need to give up much sooner!): "She might be your best friend -- but are you sure you're hers?" Tough to hear, but mighty true.

It's hard, tho. Just like in the romance world, it's hard to find an even mom match. Someone will be super into me and I'm lukewarm. Then I find someone who's (seemingly) perfect and they'll already have 12,000 friends and 4 kids and just don't need a new pal. Wah wah.

But bottom line, I feel so much better tonight. It all seems kind of silly now -- the sighing and tearing up and head shaking. Not sure why I go through these cycles now and again, but it feels good to come out the other side kinda laughing at myself. Hearts!

(btw, my husb just linked to this very insightful NYT article about the difficulties of making new friends as adults. How timely for moi.)

Fridee

I accidentally just typed blogger.OM which, quite honestly, is the opposite of anything Blogger. Has everyone else abandoned ship for Wordpress long ago? I'm frustrated by this thing 79% of the time.

Anywho. Friday! Yeah!

I'm lo-ving life these past few days because I finally gave up/gave in/gave money and got some help up in here. My husband and my mom and my friends and probably even George had all told me to, but it felt like laziness. Or something. I'd kept the house at an okay level of clean (they're not gonna take me away to star on Hoarders, but I'm also not getting a Good Housekeeping seal of approval), but lately it was feeling even more overwhelming and yick. And I wasn't wanting to do the household things I really do like (cooking) because I was drained from keeping the rest of the ship afloat. 

Oh and our yard was just... a hot mess. We've been away a bunch and it's been so hot and it's just a tontonton of grass... and ivy-covered walls and all sortsa other encroaching green things. The idea of "lawn people" makes me feel all Westport and not-me, but let me tell you -- when those guys pulled in on their rider mowers, it made my heart sing. So now we have access to this big, crazy yard again and Harper and I found a giant mess of raspberry bushes (vines? brambles?) we didn't know was there and it's a new, fun activity for the hot summer hours. Or the very early morning hours... as she woke up at 5:15 this morning, begging to go pick "red raspberries peeeeze!" So we pulled on our boots and did just that. How Laura Ingalls.

And the cleaners oh, the cleaners! They worked and worked and worked and scrubbed and it just feels so incredibly fresh and nice and organized in here. Like, it cleared up my head in a way I forgot a clean house could do. The day after, I was suddenly crossing things off my to-do list I'd been avoiding and cooking a pot of beans/skillet cornbread/kale and snuggling my dog and staring at the shiny surfaces. I really can't believe how good it's made me feel. (Is that sad? I don't know or care.)

I'm on a help-is-flipping-amazing roll now and serendipitously just got an email from a friend for a sounds-very-wonderful daytime babysitter rec. She might only be available for the summer (Montessori teacher), but hey! I'mma grab her. A few hours to myself plus a clean house plus a lawn not up to my knees? Heavenly, luxurious* heaven. (Time to go walk my dog. That one's still all me.)

*Anyone (other than Matt) remember Bobby Trendy from the very, very, very old Anna Nicole Smith show? (I watched that...?!?!? Oh, college and its...substances.) He said everything was "luxuuuuuuuuuurious." It was awesome.

Just a pic

Stole this pic from cuz Amanda of Jones on the 4th on my Gram's porch. It's so saucy, I love it. And you can kind of see her left browner eye, right bluer eye thing. My little hammy.

Funny of-the-moment Harper things

Because I love to look back on it:

- Lately calls cc "Clay Clay". Zero idea where this came from, since I almost never call him Clay... 

- Instead of the usual toddler "NO!" she likes to say delicately: "No, not quite..." 

- Has pretty amazing puzzle skills. We've got a set of 4 mini 12-piece puzzles (just loose pieces, not with a board) and she can do them entirely by herself, very quickly. I'm mostly impressed because she's faster at putting them together than I am. (I'm admittedly terrible at puzzles, but still.)

- Uses this really weird, high-pitched, sweet voice when she's asking for something she wants. "How 'bout a show?" 

- Turns lots of things down because they're "too" something. For example. We bought her a gross strawberry lemonade thing the other day during some travel. She took a sip and said: "No thank you. It's too tasty." Or we gave her some raspberry sorbet. "It's too raspberry-y." Or ice cream: "It's too messy." (I swear I feed her good things, too.) After an unfortunate bath bomb incident at my mom's house (we thought it'd be fun, but it turned the tub green and fizzled and she freaked out), she wouldn't take a bath the whole visit. "It's too painty!!!!" she'd yell.

- Mostly thinks of herself/refers to herself as "Baby"... She'll say Harper, too, and tolerate that. But nothing else. When she's in a silly mood, anything you say she'll correct. For example, my mom pointed out her new work and said "That's my new place of employment!" and Harper says "I not place of employment, I Baby!" 

- Along the same lines, if you tell her she's such a big girl she'll yell "No! I so little! I so small! I a baby!" It's pretty much the opposite of any other toddler. (Or at least ones without baby siblings.)

- Adores Finding Nemo. And rather heartbreakingly will narrate what's going on. "Nemo missing his daddy. Nemo in the fishbowl and daddy swimming with the turtles. Daddy so sad." 

- "I can't like it!" is a favorite one after trying some food. 

- Love her unique memory. On our trip to Maine, we popped in our new Music Together CD. This fun song (our first time hearing) came on while we were in a Boston tunnel and she lalalala'd along. We didn't hear it again for another week, when we were tooling around Portland. On it came and she yelled: "Just like in the tunnel!" 

- Will tell me "You're right!" after I say something obvious like "It's lunchtime" or "I'm tired." 

Okay that's it for now. Gots to run. 

Wolfie.

I love her.

In other news, I'm sitting in the dark typing while Jones drifts off to Randy Newman on my iPhone. It's our last night at my mom's and so I'm just rolling with the bad sleep habits that have developed over the past week. I've got a few things to undo once we're back in the CT, but won't help to worry about that now.

The combo of a very vivid imagination + increased verbal skillz + 3 different sleeping rooms over 1 week + a scary recent event (to be explained in a bit)  = HJ waking up from a dead sleep yelling things like "Mommy! A ghost man is coming in my window! He said boo! He get me and I so, so, so scared!" Oh dear.

So yeah. Things were funky sleepwise already, but then on the 4th -- after a really nice/steamy day of parading and hotdogging and cousining -- a serious thunderstorm hit while we were all piddling around my gram's house eating leftovers. It was loud. Like, loud loud loud. The first big boom made us all laugh nervously and check in -- upstairs crowd yelling down to downstairs crowd. Then pause, pause, pause... Then a boom/crack/lightning flash that felt so insane, words can't really do it justice. Well, maybe they could if I weren't brain fried and hunched over in a dark room.

Harps was downstairs watching (of all things) America's Funniest Vids on my mom's lap and I was up a landing of stairs in the kitchen eating an omelette. She screamed and screamed and I sailed down the steps and grabbed her and ran back up the stairs. We all gathered in the kitchen, away from the windows. And then forced my cousin Ben out the door. To check on the burning smell and to see what in the hell just happened. Harper was terrified. Crying and screaming and shaking and inconsolable. I was so jealous of my cuz Amanda who could just start nursing her toddler. Instant tranquilizer.

Ben couldn't see anything, but when the rain finally stopped, Amanda and the babies and I headed outside to poke around. Sure enough, we found a deep hole in the ground -- 5 feet from the screen door opened to the room where Harps had been. Yep. She was 10 feet from a lightning strike! Weeeeeee! Also? Ben and Amanda's car (a couple feet from the hole) was completely wiped out -- computer dead, wouldn't start, vroooom F. And it had a flat tire. Did the lightning hit the car and go under ground and up thru the hole? Or through the hole and up thru the car? Let's call Mythbusters!

Super, super scary. We were all shaken and punchy for a long time after that. Oh and Harper has now developed a serious love thing for America's Funniest. She calls it the "Falling Down Show" and now requests it when she's feeling anxious. Doobie doobie doo!

So that was that.

It's been a very nice week, tho. Lots of warm weather and feet-in-the-ocean and ice cream (and coconut cake and an Ina peach/raspberry cobbler I made and handmade potato donuts and oh F I've got work to do at home) and relaxing and reading (my mom has the most impressive self-help library you can imagine -- I always delve into 2 or 3 tomes while I'm here) and strolls and porch sitting. I feel really rested and summerfied.

But! We miss cc and George and our little cottage calls us back tomorrow. Check ya on the flip, Maine.

Sometimes I take it a step too far

Harps is on a massive, massive arts 'n crafting kick. There's collaging, there's making-costumes-from-construction-paper, there's covering-her-body-in-facepaint, there's gluing-of-puff-balls, there's crayons and markers and stickers and yarn and yow. I have total oversensitivity over Not Being Good At Art, so I'm really letting girlfriend go crazy with all this.

At 5 tonight, with 3ish hours till bedtime, and cc not coming back (no idea where he is) (kidding, he's on a bi'ness trip and we're joining him tomorrow), I needed to get something going to get through the evening. It was gorgeous outside and I'd already pulled out the materials for a bizarre project earlier. Seemed like the perfect time.

Opened an old can of sweetened condensed milk, poured out little divisions, then swirled in food coloring. She was all "Oh wow! Looka that purple! It's so fancy!" And seriously? It kinda was. The colors were super bright mixed with the, uh, milk and it was fun watching them pop.

Then I stripped her down nakie, pulled out a big piece of paper, handed her some q-tips (she's not always into sticky hands) and she went to town. The milk painted smoothy and shiny (would look neat on wax paper for a stained glass situation) and she got all Pollock on it, jumping up and splattering and sure wanted to draw a lot of fruit. "These grapes are so tasty!"

A fun mom would be all "Take a taste!!!" but I figured that would just confuse matters for, oh, the rest of her life when every other paint is not fo' eating. Also... that can was mighty old.

Wee!

Tomorrow we're off on a big 10 day trip to Boston, then NH, then Maine. Will try and post a little here and there (I can never stay off Instagram), but I need an Internettles detox in general so. Kisses!

Mondee, gluedee

Friday night we grabbed a quick dinner at the Whole Foods three minutes away. (It's only redeemable quality, really.) She didn't eat much and as we walked out, I noticed she was delicately holding her hand over her stomach. She didn't complain about pain and it wasn't in your typical stomach ache territory (like, lower down in the guts) so I just watched her.

We got home and it was late and she wasn't that stinky, so we skipped bath, threw her in some pajamas and into bed. She went down easily and slept thru till 6.

Up we all got the next morning and headed out to breakfast. (Contrary to available facts, we don't eat every meal out, I promise ye.) After we had our strawberry waffle and caramel pancake and ketchupy eggs and bacon (for her) spread delivered, she took a few measly bites, started holding her stomach and asked to leave.

Because this is a girl who has never complained of a belly ache, I started to get a little nervous. Took her into the bathroom and started poking her tum. "Ow! Ow! OW!!!!!" My own little tum dropped. There was obviously something terribly, terribly wrong.

Shoving a few more carbs in our faces, we gathered up cc and headed to the car. She held her stomach through the parking lot and then doubled over when we reached her door. Clay pushed on her tum, too, and she let out a howl.

"Is her doctor open today?"

"They'll have someone on-call, " I said. I felt sick.

"Let's call after she rests a little."

He strapped her into the seat and we buckled our belts. My mind raced with the exciting possibilities. A tumor, obviously. And appendicitis. And Celiac. And an even bigger tumor than the first one I'd imagined. I collapsed against the window and tried to catch my breath. I really couldn't believe this was happening to me. (To me! I know.)

As I closed my eyes, I suddenly thought of something.

"Glue!"

"Excuse me?"

"Glue. She has a patch of glue on her stomach from her arts and craft binge. And we never washed it off because she never had a tub."

He wasn't completely convinced, but I knew that was that.

We pulled in 10 minutes later and I hoisted her up on the kitchen counter. Dampened a tea towel. Lifted up her tiny tee shirt and took a peek. A big blotch of dried, amoeba-shaped glue pulled at her tawny skin. You know. Glue Skinitis. Kind of like cancer.

(I really need a therapist.)

cc day

Someone really, really loves her dad. (And I do, too.)

Happy Fridee!

This is my giant toddler on a tiny swing.

Girlfriend keeps growing and growing and, well, you get the point. She must be getting it all done during naptime, tho, because oof. Her nighttime sleep ("sleep") is killing me softly. I do believe it's the work of those two-year molars poking through so... should be short-term? Ruh-right?

Oh, also: She won't wear pants right now (scraped her knees and she's afraid pulling them on will take off her "bam-aids"...) and so her legs are freezing and goosebumpy and that's not ideal for sleep either, is it? No.

In other news, we are both obsessed with our new favorite movie -- Tangled. Lovelovelove.

That's really all I got, friends.