Thursday's always been my favorite day

Coloring at the park with Dada. (Body art is much more interesting, however.)

Happy Thursday, trusty friends!

Right now, I'm:

• Eating my third "fun size" (not fun enough) Butterfinger of the morning. Durn Halloween.
• Listening to Charlie Brown Christmas on repeat. Every morning, dudes.
• Wearing in my new Target flowery thermal shirt. I get a couple every few months at 15ish dolla a pop and wear 'em to death.
• Listening to HJ and cc play quietly together in the upstairs loft. And suddenly a huge thump. Uh.
• Looking forward to getting my hairs did this afternoon.
• Giddy for Project Runway tonight. Team...I don't know? I miss Anthony Ryan.
• Reading pages of this book.
• Closing the computer for a long walk in the yellow leaves with my lady.

Oh, but don't we all need a little Harper right now?

Girlfriend loves her some pumpkins.

Thaaank you all for the well wishes on moving! I'm just happy and peaceful about it all -- ready to take it on and make it work Tim Gunn style. I'm not so into the awkward stuff that comes with moving, however. Just the... goodbyes and the getting-out-of-leases and the feeling that you're mildly upsetting people all over the place. Ew. We've got a couple serious applicants looking to take over our house, tho, so fingers crossed that particular obstacle will be karate chopped soon...

Now! Onto the delicious picture above. Don't you love when a plan comes together? As in, you have a romantic idea of pumpkin picking and your tiny person actually goes along with it and happily? This is not exactly reliable (you will love this Indian pudding I loved as a kid! No...no I won't, mom) and so I appreciate it wholly when it happens.

Harps flippin loved the pumpkins. Picking each one up, lovingly caressing them, sitting, posing. A little happy pumpkin person with flurffy blonde hair! The girl is mine mine mine, the girl is mine.

And while we're at it, here's a lil video from this morning. (Before we hit full speed ahead on cleaning up and showing our house to 12 million people.) She's going thru her little alphabet puzzle pieces... My favorite part, very subtle but you can maybe catch it, is around the 58 second mark -- when she gives me this look after realizing I'm taping her. She is always onto me. Always.

Press play on some David Bowie

Our daily walk.

Your trusty gypsy lady is packing up her hobo bag (the kind on a stick you sling over your shoulder while smoking a corncob pipe and kicking a can) and heading East with her family.

Weeeeeee!

It's true, friends. We've officially lost our minds and are officially moving yet again. This time it's for keepsies, though. (Okay, I'm making no permanent claims on exact city or state for 10+ years, but the general area, yes!)

The lurvely and handsome and so-smart-it's-kind-of-annoying cc snagged a great gig at a company in Connecticut and we're packing up all our little and big things next month to head that way. It's kind of unbelievably exciting and great, but also stressful and small parts sad. While it's no secret I've been angling to get back near my people since life changed in some major ways (that'd be with baby and health stuff), once the decision had been made (last week) I got an instant pang about leaving my pretty little bungalow and the people who have been so good to us during such a crazy year.

Changes, even when they're ones you want, are bumpy feeling. Harps will tell you all about it -- her least favorite thing in all the land are transitions. (Hold onto your head if you try and get her to leave somewhere. Or change activity. Or put on a sweatshirt.)

So! Yes! Wild and nuts, no? And hilarious that we're moving to definitely the WASPiest and yuppiest place on planet earth. (But also v close to NYC via train. I will be seeing Alvin Ailey shows whenever I damn well please huzzah!)

Cue an insane month!

Out to eat

If she's got crayons and a coloring book (or random napkin scrap) she'll stay pretty focused and content. If the restaurant doesn't have 'em, we can play sugar packet games or move around the hot sauce bottles. There's also sipping water ("izzzzzzy" if it's sparkling) and crunching ice. We can get time to move along, but it's fairly exhausting.

I need to pull my act together, bite the bullet, and make a Kid Kit for all our eating out adventures. Come on, BabySitter's Club fans. You know you're out there.

Could I get dorkier? No.

Meghan, Cal, Steph, moi, Nik. (Reuinted and it feels so gooooooood.)

 

Sunday I attended a seriously gorgeous wedding in the woods of Massachusetts. The ceremony was by a pond, we chatted under towering pines, and finished the night toasting s'mores around a campfire. Hello. But best of all, I got to catch up with many of my best friends from growing up. Dude, I chose wisely back then because I still love these ladies (and fellas) and would make them my own again, 15+ years later. I talked and laughed and talked and laughed and it was great. (And exhausting. I actually got in the car and cried for a second before going home? It was...too much to process or something.)

Okay but also. Look at the picture up top. Ain't we cute? But also. Why am I so dorky? Why am I holding a beer bottle like I'm 12 and it's my first time drinking? (12 was not my first time drinking -- don't worry, parental units. I was much too busy reading Johnny Tremain alone in my room and listening to Abbey Road on repeat.) And what's up with my legs akimbo stance? I was gettin ready to do my booty shake dance that showed up a couple hours later on the dance floor, I s'pose...

Anywho. Awesome night dot com. And I'm a nerd. Bye!

Ack! I haz blog, don't I?

Little Orphan Annie enjoys a grape.

Woah! Major radio silence. Lo siento! Forgot to mention ahead of time, but cc and HJ and I went on (and the latter ladies are still on) a top secret mission trip. I'm semi serious. I'm also sort of feeling lazy about recounting all the travel, so for now I'll just say we've been everywhere in New England ever and boy are my arms tired.

I made the strange decision not to bring a computer, so I can only typey type when I can steal/borrow a loaner and it hasn't been often.

Right now, I'm so honkin tired I can't even. Second night in a row of solo drivin to a wedding (with both ways being 2 hours) and I can't really see straight. Pretty sure I heard that Adele song 25,000 times and pretty sure I was okay with it every single one.

By the way, do you ever behave in a super-mature-for-you way and look around to get a high five or something? But then of course no, no one but your mom would probably do that. So you just give yourself little mini high fives in the bathroom stall and drink some more coffee? That just happened. It was nice!

Off to snooze land. I'll get back on this!

Mister R

Does she look sad here? That's just her look of complete engrossment, no worries. I introduced her to a little Mister Rogers today -- her first taste of my favorite, favorite person. I wasn't sure if she'd like it just yet (it's very very gentle, which I love) but of course she did, of course. As soon as he walked in the door and started singing and putting on his cardigan and changing his shoes, she was hooked.

And now, the familiar sounds of Lady Elaine Fairchild and King Friday are wafting this way and it's filling me with the most intense and happy nostalgia for my own faraway days of little persondom. Sharing these tiny things from my life with her just feels cozy. Perfect for a rainy, lazy Monday.

In case you were wondering what kind of 7th grader I was

Today in music class (which I love I lurve! If you have a kidperson and a Music Together franchise near you, t-r-y it) the teach started by asking what our favorite tracks on the CD are. Silence, silence... As usual, I try to wait so I'm not the first one to answer. And...nothing.

Okay fine.

"We love track 23, the City Blues song." (In my head: I list off our 4 or 5 other favorites.)

"Yea! We'll be doing that one today. Great jam." (Oh yes, he says things like this.) "Any other favs?"

Silence. (In my head: My brain explodes. These suckas aren't listening to the CD at home? It's, like, the whole methodology of the class! Deep breaths deep breaths.)

He gives up and talks.

"Welllllll...my favorite? Is the train song." (Starts to strum it on his guitar. Ooo! This is my other top favorite.) "I love it because it doesn't sound like a children's song. It's so soulful."

(In my head: Surely, he's going to explain how it's not a children's song, really? How it's an African-American spiritual about the Underground Railroad?)

Nope. Keeps strumming and changes over to the welcome song. The other moms sigh relief sighs as they realize they're not on the spot anymore.

(In my head: Another brain explosion. This teacher is great -- the best kiddo instructor I've yet met -- but c'mon! A perf time for a mini-lesson and nuthin! Not even sure he knows what the song is, which makes me sad. And the other blank faces around the circle let me know they're clueless, too. Blergh.)

And off I go, singing our songs and dancing our moves and ignoring the grey matter leaking out my ears.

Harps gets contacts

So Harpsmeister has been pretty cranky these past couple days. Not awful cranky, just...off. Normal good times and then just ah! Please hurry home from work, cc! I need to have 5 seconds off from negotiating with toddler person! (Over "one mo' *insert anything desirable but not appropriate for dinnertime-almost-bedtime*)...

I mean last night, we seriously had a real altercation over her wanting to play with eggs from the fridge. "EGG! EGG! EGG!" (All said with this weird guttural oomph she gives "egg" and "apple" and a bear growling.) Did she want me to cook her one, which I'd have done gladly? No. Just hold it and fondle it and break it and no. Ah! Go to bed! Stop asking for everything and really wanting nothing! We've been together for 13 hours ah!

(In her defense, she may be coming down with something. We'll know in the morning. As tonight we spotted some...spots. Oh my please no.)

But then, well...then she does stuff like this. Finds my contact case and pretends she's me. All remnants of frustration poof poof away. (Till tomorrow evening, alas...)

(And my apologies that cc makes me turn down the Huey Lewis. I mean....yeah. I know. Some people!)

School days

Sunday blues anyone? Mine are a lot less severe now that I don't work anymore and cc doesn't hop on planes every Monday morning. But still...weekends are a nice time, ay? 

We walked to brunch on Saturday, spent a lot of time crunching newly yellow leaves outside, ate 12 million portions of the veggie lasagna I made, caught up on all the delish TV that started this week. Sunday: slept in (me) while my two got brek and did a Target run (he brought me home a bag of Pumpkin Spice Dunkin Donuts coffee and fresh beignets from Lucille's ah WHAT), and then all three adventured on a long bike ride around Wash Park... stopping to feed the ducks some goldfish-knockoff-bunnies and slide down the slide. (And crunch more leaves.) Wrapped up the evening playing with shaving cream on her little table and one...more...help...me...lasagna meal. Whew. 

Snapped a few pics of H sammich partaking in her new hobby. Obsessive lettering. (That's what I'm calling it because is it reading? No 'course not. It's...letter recognizing and reciting. She knows 'em all! But doesn't love 'em all. O and M get major play time. Also T.) 

An action shot! "E" coming out those little cute lips...

Ahahhaha. Her "ba-pa" that was for school. Now just for...casual Saturdays?

Another action shot with her puzzle pieces. "R!"

She crazy.

Mostly putting this here so I don't forget it

I know exactly one Tori Amos song. No idea why it's this one (a BU friend, I think, frosh year introduced me to it -- Emily Strange, was it you?!) but I listened to it incessantly (on Napster!) and never branched out for more. And then could never remember what it was called. But here it is! I still love it love it love it. And want to choreograph a mad modern piece to it. (In fact, I am right now. The things this living room sees when she naps...)

This face is my breakfast lunch dinner and second dinner

Feel like I'm extra swoony over HJ lately... Avert your eyes if you're looking for a bag to yuck in, yo!

Also, I'm unable NOT to say "mummy's tiiiiii-red" to cc, multiple times after she's asleep for the night and we're vegging, eating ice cream under blankets. Nothing keeps the love alive like referring to yourself as mummy, people. (Also holey sweatpants, belonging to your brother 10 years ago.) Mummaymmmamay! 

I also need to understand how it's okay that Oliver-from-Project-Runway can speak in a British accent even though he's from Ohio and no one cares or comments?!

Oh and my favorite moment of today? (Other than toddler yoga, where we worked on her handstand weeeeeee!) Checking out at Whole Foods (I bought out all the cheese on this earth, making a lasagna for a friend) the cashier says to Harps: "What you snackin' on there, woman?"

It was awesome.

Aaaaaand scene.

Flibbidy gib

"Love them or hate them? The big changes Facebook is making!"

So said the local anchorman on a commercial break from my beloved shows' season premiere night. (Weeeeeeee!) Quick q: WHY DO PEOPLE WATCH LOCAL NEWS?! I can't even deal that that sentence just came out of a "professional" newsman's mouth. As a fellow human, I do not know where to look.

(I don't even watch non-local news. I read it. Much faster and much less heart attack inducing.)

Didn't mean to go on a news vent.


Just meant to show ya this pic of Harper Junebug Ham Sammich Queen Bee. This face is so her.

Out on her walk. Examining hey-ho-knows-what in her grubby hands. Furrowed brow. Tasty cheeks. Deep thoughts. Rinse repeat.

She has been on this absolutely insane learning bender the past week or two. (And I mean, all babies the first few years are always learning learning learning of course...) But it's just kicked up a few hundred notches. She does not stop chattering (much of it her own weird language, but a good amount English too) and asking what everything is and getting so frustrated (read: lie down in the sidewalk and kick) if I'm not answering exactly what she's asking. And remembering weird things from days before and combining the ideas and concepts and never stops churning churning wheels grinding. I have to suck on lozenges all day to keep up with the level of (vocal) interaction she needs -- and hey, happy to do it... Just zzzzzzzzz. I should be falling asleep at 8 these days, not 11.

Whew. Toddlers. They are special little robots that make my heart explode.

One of HJ's walls

 If ya click on the picture, gets a lot bigger. (Apologies on the light glares -- blergh!)

Oh, a few pictures and stories from my Monday

I meaaaaaaaaaaaaan the cheeks! The Kewpie hawk! The cleft-in-her-chin-from-cc! The rosy lips! I have to physically hold myself back from eating her entire face after she wakes up and looks like this. 

 

I'm really confused, but while looking for an orange crayon today, I found this lipstick I bought pre-pregnancy, at MAC in San Fran. The lipstick I've looked high and low and middle for the past two years. But then... it was in my junk drawer, a thousand miles from where I bought it? No no, of course. I'll probably never wear it again because I'm a wimp, but it made for a very fancy Monday afternoon. (And yes, I'm always tired.. but those dark circles have been on my face since I was 7. Blame the Lebanese in me?)

This is the pinkest picture ever, probably. Harps and cc's mom, hanging and reading in their jammies. Aw.

If I give you 12 (okay, probably 2) dollars, will you please come over and clean this for me? She's in bed and I really don't want to put the caps on all those markers and gather up the books and put together the puzzles and sweep the floors and put Big Bird back on the couch. I want to watch my stories and sip hot tea. Non?

Ni ni!

A handful of small letters

Dear Cotton Candy at the Fall Festival,
Thank you for making my baby so happy. And her face so blue.

Dear Insane Waitress at Potager Restaurant,
Thank you for providing us with a story we'll never forget, sista. You are either 100% socially inept and/or your dog just died and you wanted to take it out on us. Either way! You made me cry ugly tears, but now I just feel sorry for you. Later!

Dear d Bar,
Thank you for rescuing our night with your delicious cupcakes. I loved the yellow cake with chocolate frosting the mostest.

Dear cc,
Thank you for buying HJ this crazy huge Elmo balloon. She wants to marry it and that takes the pressure off real dating for a few years. Also, thank you for sleeping with the bad side of the comforter always. Also, you are really cute. Also, I love my new red mug.

Dear MIL,
Thank you for babysitting while we had our weird date. And thank you for all the long walks and baths and reading-of-the-books you did with Harps. Gave me a much needed break.

Dear salted caramel mocha from Starbucks,
Oh my God. No. You taste like my favorite drink in 11th grade from Cumberland Farms. Frown.

Dear legwarmers I'm knitting H,
I hope you turn out as cute as you seem. I guess I can always make you an arm warmer for me if you're not?

Dear mini Boden catalog,
Stop trying to take all my moneys! You are too scrumptious ah! Stop it.

Love and other indoor sports,

BJA

The Little House

Today is the lovely Krista's berfday, so when I saw Harps reading this book tonight (sent to her by Ms K), I quickly snapped a shot. It's one of her very favorites, one of her go tos for the manic reading fests she gets into.

I love when she starts a self-play sesh, because for 10 or 20 sometimes 30 minutes, I can kick back with some knitting or tea or even talk on the phone for a bit while she's happily occupied (usually talking to herself in this teeny tiny little voice, saying whoknowswhat). Mama bliss!

And hey no, thought I'd get this out of the way -- I didn't send Harps to school today. I tossed and turned some last night, but woke up this morning knowing it wasn't happening. If she were 3, 4, or 5 and I was really "not sending her to school" I'd brace myself for judgment, but I'm hoping peeps just realize she's a little babe still (19 months!) and it was supposed to be a treat for me instead of something really developmentally necessary for her. (Girlfriend is right on track socially, gots no worries there.)

But.. lesson learned I've gotta get her comfy with me leaving sometimes. And I do still want some time during the week to take a yoga class or get my hairs did; but I'mma start slower. This way had her tossing and turning for a week straight (crying out "no! no!" in her sleep) and desperate for me when I left to use the bathroom. Which I can't have! I must have those solo play sessions or I die! Plus, she didn't sleep straight thru 11 hours (her norm) till last night. It was like newborn lifestyle for a week! Heck no. Mama needs her rest and peace of mind. I know she'd eventually adjust, but psssshhh. Not into it.

And so, well rested at last, we stayed in our pajamas all day. Had some friends over. Ate treats on the couch together, Skyped with my mom, snoozed at the same time, went to the park with a coupla other pals and slid down puddle covered slides, colored (our arms), made dinner with Raffi in the background. Cozy sauce.

Tomorrow cc's mom cruises into town = Harps will soon have a full time servant. (Or so is my plan.) Looks like some luscious fall weather's en route as well -- hope for you as well. Happy weekend!

My pensive teen

I wonder if he'll call...

Along with books, tofu, pushing-her-stroller, the red monster, Huey Lewis dance parties, and climbing inappropriately high things, Harps is obsessed with jamming out to tunes in my car. In the front seat. While I drive super fast. (While it's parked.)

We walk past the Subie and she starts to ask for it and if it's not too hot out and if I'm in the mood, I'll open 'er up and start up the tunes. She sits and listens like so if it's a good one, or flips through until she finds one to her liking. If I let her, she'd keep this up for hours. May I ask when she turned 15?

In other news... GUYS my teevs finally snagged the episode of Family Ties where Tom Hanks guest stars as an alcoholic uncle jonesing so bad he has to chug a bottle of vanilla from the pantry. I saw this when I was 7 or 8 and have been intensely haunted by it ever since. And it is so intense and well acted holy woot! So what I'm trying to tell you, is a dream has come true for me tonight. Let's hug.

What else what else...

I think the hardest part about solo parenting is when night rolls around and I have no one to smooch all night. And by smooch I mean...run out to Dairy Queen and buy me a mini chocolate blizzard with cookie dough. I s'pose I'm supposed to make do with hot chocolate, but that just makes me frown.

So I'll be over here, wishing my hot chocolate had a huge dollop of Fluff on it, and looking embarrassingly forward to the start of music class fall sesh tomorrow. (What will be on the new CD???) Dorkpants out!

Oh I'm so happy, so very happy to be on this couch/home/drinking a juice box

Small person! Giant chair!

Hey, guys? Whenever I'm feeling blue on myself, please remind me how incredibly kick ass I am at traveling solo with a toddler and lots of bags and creating dinners from stale Starbucks offerings and also looking sorta cute as it's happening? (Um yes! Of course those stares were because of my hotness, not my complete-losing-my-noodle-should-we-rescue-her?-ness).

Because while our trip out to Sun V was with both parental units, the return trip was me and me alone. And my sidekick. cc has a work trip and so ladies night! For a couple nights! And a plane ride? (I'm delirious right now, I think?)

But by the end, 7 hours after saying bye to cc, as she's happily sucking down her weird supper, I'm pulling my suitcase and her pack 'n play in one hand and her-inside-her-stroller in the other... I was like hot damn sauce I'm awesome. I wasn't even crying! Well, maybe a little.

Oh but our trip! Our trip was fun. It was beautiful out there in Idaho, with the chilly mornings and all the deer and the wolf (WOLF) that ran in front of our car the first night (we drove 3 hours that first night after our flight, arriving at  at 1 amz. Harps was awake the entire time, which was actually mostly hilarious instead of annoying for some unremembered reason). We were really just there to hang someplace pretty with our friends Jon and Steph (the ones Clay married! and the ones who were in Missouri when I went into preterm labor stuff...and she continued to check my cervix after we got home because she's a midwife holy hell that's friendship) who we adore adore adore. And I don't really adore a lot of people, so! Fun.

I NEED to post a picture of cc in his waders (waders? waiters? waterz?) because he and Jon went fly fishing and ah! The hilarity and cuteness. Kill me dead. (Steph and I ate brunch out with Harps and then talked for 12,000 hours on the couch with cups of tea.)

Are you wondering how I'm feeling about Harps' school stuff? Me too! Meh. I'mma play it by ear. I think (know) whichever way I roll, girlfriend will be fine and sweating it too much is borderline insane.

I think that's it outta me. I'm loving this couch I'm on so hard. And the rain pounding down on my roof. And the cozy bed with the soft sheets awaiting me upstairs. And the silence down the hall from my sleeping toddler who was a complete angel on the flight with nothing to entertain her but a Sky Mall magazine and two dum dum pops.

Hearts, my loves.

Sun Valleying

Back tomorrow! (Thanks for all your words re: Harps and school; feeling better about the whole thing...remind me not to get so emo before a few deep breaths ahem...)