Ten Things I Learned in Tahoe

1.) It's not against the law to wake up at 8 a.m. while on vacation.

2.) "Snowboarding" actually means snowboarding, not sipping fluff-filled hot chocolate by a crackling fire, holding hands, and gazing into each other's eyes.

3.) Confirming popular belief, instructors use the word "totally" as a substitution for all affirmative exclamations. Example? Me: "I can't do this!" Him: "Totally. I mean - you totally can."

4.) There are no rules on the slopes; there are "responsibilities". I'm not sure what these exactly are, although I think one of them entails screaming out tips ("Hey! Keep your back straight!") while you pass talented, but perhaps very slow, learners.

5.) In the words of our instructor, my boyfriend is "the best student I've ever had" and "the most natural student I've ever had" as well as "the most incredible student I've ever had."

6.) Really old people go skiing. According to the ones sitting next to me at lunch, they're also really into racing each other, but "let the slow ones win."

7.) If you scream "OW! My knees are BROKEN!" while mountain rescue people speed past you, they won't stop. I'm not sure what they're specifically looking for.

8.) Those bib-style pants I used to wear when I was 12 are pretty fetching, but tend to ride up in places that aren't polite to discuss in mixed company.

9.) My new hero is a 5 year old girl who yelled at her meddling father: "YOU! Get out of my way so I can see what I'm doing. NOW."

10.) Guns don't kill people. Strategically placed trash cans kill people.