A little vacay recap

A day that will live in infameeeeeeee.

 

 

Okay, so first thing's first. I completely forgot that the pregnant lady across the aisle snapped this shot 5 seconds after H had cried so hard she just collapsed onto me (I wish this better captured her complete look of sad clown, although maybe not since it really was heart wrenching) and 5 seconds before we touched down and she bolted awake, screaming for another 20 minutes. It was an awesome 10 seconds of peace! 

(Side note, said plane photog was a couple months away from her first baby. She spent a good amount of that time telling me how much labor was going to be a natural and easy kind of pain and how back labor can be "easily soothed" in the birthing tub. Wow! If only I'd known this simple trick, I wouldn't have suffered so! I desperately wish I could be a fly on her birthing room wall...)

Moving on!

I like how there's a cute little bib bow in the back. Fashion first, ladies!

 We already know about the love triangle that is Harper + T + guitar, but who couldn't use another shot? Look at them hold hands! (She might have been trying to steal his pick...)

She wrecked a good amount of these measuring cups, via shoving them down the disposal.

Next up, sink baths! For some reason, H was scared of my mom's bathtub. (We think it was the drain, which is a little louder than ours, maybe?) After a couple days of sunscreen and sweat and toddler filth piling up, we tried for the sink bath instead. And then she was utterly obsessed. She'd ask for one throughout the day and sometimes, ohwhatthehell, we just gave in. She averaged 2.5 a day.

Tried my best to hide the naughty bits.

Aside from the out-of-character tub protests, my baby is a water baby. Hardcore. Mom lives walking distance to the ocean (heaven!) and so we'd trek over there and let naked baby go crazy. She was absolutely fearless, storming into the sea without a second glance back. And that stuff is chilly, yo! Thanks to my dad for the water shoes, she could keep her footing throughout her little nautical adventures. I love how brave that little nut is!

I look like a giant! It was the shoes, unfortunately.

And lastly, here's a weird and ghostly shot at Becky's Diner in Portland. Four generations of ladies rocking out after supper! I loved watching H play with my Gram -- she absolutely loved it when she'd kiss her little fingers.

And that was a mini-shot of Maine, m'dears. I've got some good Texas pics on the real camera that I'll upload soon -- didn't forget about ya, oulaws-of-mine!

Breakfast time for me, made by me. Turns out my mom's not here anymore to make me tea. Blergh!

Home plate

Alright, so. Yesterday was hard. At times, really really hard. The first half of the day was totally and completely fine. She'd just come off her nap and had a dose of Advil for her teeth and milk in her belly and the first flight was short and we shared a burger and fries and lemonade in a booth in Cleveland. She pushed her stroller up and down the floor and watched some Caillou on the apple device thing and flirted with every man in sight.

But then...the layover went on and on. There was no afternoon nap. The Advil wore off and I didn't have more. She didn't eat enough to stay full. The second flight was long long long and we were jammed next to an enormous man person. People were judgey and face-makey around us. Soon, it was 3 hours past bedtime and after a long, long day of being a sweetie and sitting in my lap when she wanted to run and humoring me with toothy giggles at my same old jokes, she just lost it. Lost it lost it lost it can't be found it is lost. By that time, I was starving and my back felt broken from all the carrying and bending and hauling and I wasn't allowed to wear my glasses because it threw her into even worse screams and my fear of flying was creeping in and well, only deep breathing and realizing this couldn't last forever kept me un-crying.

And then hey, look! It actually did end and cc was waiting for us at the gate and whisked us home and ran out and bought me my favorite Cafe Rio salad and all three of us cuddled in close (well, she in her crib with Woof Woof) and fell hard asleep the end.

So there's some new rules for traveling with Harps. No layovers unless absolutely totally has to happen necessary. And if there is a layover and a long flight and sleep issues, she will get her own seat. (Which they don't legally need till 2.) And I'll wear contacts. And bring more treats. And possibly drug her with Benadryl? And probably drug myself with something a little harder. Don't tell the baby police.

Today went surprisingly smooth. I thought I might weep in a puddle on the floor, but I really did get refreshed/revived/rejuvenated on my trip and felt ready to take on my real life and all its full array of real life stuff with calm and happy. I've realized that while I'd like, in my perfect little fantasy, to be living on a farm in New England with my own chickens and a hound dog -- we're just not there yet. And there's no point pining for things that aren't, when we can be living in what is -- and soaking up all the good we've got.

(About to be) a basketcase

Best toys are not toys, duh. And hello, bumble bee jammies I love thee.

Our morning ka-tivity a couple days ago was...the laundry basket. Seeming endless entertainment for my bumble bee bum and her newly blonded locks. (I've got a seriously golden skinned and haired lady on my hands; playgroup babies won't know her. Sorta like how I grew 7 inches over summer break once?)

And: sob sob sob, H and I are hitting the skies tomorrow, heading back to the Rockies and our little bungalow. My mom has given me a M-A-J-O-R vacation these past bunch of days and hoooo boy, did I need it. I'm feeling much more ready to take back the household tasks and toddler duties and such, that had me oh-so-burned-out a few weeks ago.

Please send up a prayer to the baby Buddha for my baby Buddha and me as we endure a loooooooong a%s day of travel tomorrow? Muah!

H and T

Staring into space for a good 20, completely mesmerized.

One of my fav things about this trip is watching my little bro and Harps get to know each other. She was nervous around him at first, but soon started pointing and coyly chirping, "T-t!" Asking to be picked up and grabbing his shock of dark hair.

But once he busted out the geetar, forgetaboutit. He became a full-on rock star.

She felt the love last year, too, but just totally gets it now. Last night, instead of dancing like a mad woman per usual, she wouldn't stop fussing until he played AND held her. You could tell she was loving actually feeling the music vibrations of the strings and his voice and instantly went into a semi-hypnotized state of baby bliss.

Pretty much a full-on heart 'splosion for me, too.

4:15! Wakey wakey!

Hey guys? Whenever I get the urge to merge again and have número dos, please remind me how delightfully insane my toddler is? How she's currently waking up at 4:15 for the day (a vacation sleep thing, I'm praying) and rarely stops moving thereafter? How yes, she's hilarious and too smart and such a ham, but with that, super independent and strong willed and thinks she can drive a car?

And did I mention IS WAKING UP AT 4:15?!

But vacation rolls on and Grammy takes second shift now score yea woot snore!

Shifty oatmeal eyes

The Texas part of our trippy trip is complete and we're onto Maine. All is going well and having a good journey so far.

And just couldn't resist a quick yello, m'frands.

Here's my buttercup eating some oatmeal, at my favorite little place in Dallas -- The Dream Cafe. If you happen to find yourself in the Big D (especially if you've got a babe or two), do try mmmkah?

Ni'ni's for us. Somehow always stay up way too late at home...

<3

Later skaterz

BJA and her crew are outta town for the next 3ish weeks. See ya when we're back!

A naptime picnic

Crusty bread + ricotta + heirloom tomato + plenty of salt = MARRY ME, LUNCH.

In our pad, Harps' bedroom is on the same floor as the kitchen. (Which would be the main floor, obvs.) We sleep upstairs, but everything else is down. This makes for tricky situations when she's sleeping. I can't really go crazy cleaning the kitchen after she's down because it's too loud. We have to go upstairs to use the bathroom (or, hey maybe sometimes the backyard) or else the flush will wake her up. Yada yada, you get the point.

The latest issue, since I'm actually trying to eat lunch these days, is how to make said lunch during her nap. I don't want to make her sound like some hothouse flower that can't sleep through us doing normal living. But, she's extremely sensitive to the sounds of crinkling and opening, especially during the lighter sleep of naps, and those are all sounds I need to make to make a delicious repast. Sorry I said repast.

Okay, so very unnecessary long story short, I've taken to taking my lunch ingredients to the patch of floor near the backyard slider. It's not in her tunnel of hearing and I can enjoy a little teevs while I picnic...by myself, on the floor, inside?

Full disclosure, last weekend I also made most of my homemade chicken soup in this nook.

Yes, Future Breeders of the World, this life can too be yours!

Get in shape, girl!

After a workout, I really enjoy a nice piece-a fruit.

Please please, can a fellow grew-up-in-the-eighties-early-nineties reader say they, too, had Get in Shape, Girl?! It was an "exercise program" for little girls, totally cashing in on the Jane Fonda aerobics craze. I was SO INTO IT, especially because my mom taught aerobics and it gave me my own little moves. There was a cassette tape with a manic lady shouting out commands and little weird weighted bangles, I think? I need to find this on ebay and get Harps gettin' in shape stat!

I don't believe in wordless Wednesdays

This question is for everyone, but especially Michaela: Where does one find really cute muumuus? I want to wear a muumuu everyday of my life. Once and for all, I want pants banish-ed (does anyone else ALWAYS pronounce that word Shakespeare style?) from my life. I straight up look and feel bad in them. I think a girl in my situation (buddha tummy, no bum, but yes hips, but skinny legs) shouldn't be trying to figure out the mystery that is pants. As this chick I used to work for once told me: "Well, denim is really just for farmers anyways." Oooo snap! (Hey, I don't agree. Hey, I'm only trying to make my un-denimable bod feel better.)

Moving on.

The following picture cracks me up. It's Harps hanging with one of her boyfriends (girlfriend needs some girlfriends! Lucy F, where are you?!) while I was at an appointment of some sort. She looks pretty angry to be interrupted. And he just looks psyched.

Please don't mind her Blossom, circa 1993 hat. She loves that sucker and I always gets props that my kiddo keeps a hat on. But in reality, she's pretty particular about what she'll keep on. And this one...this dated little denim (for farmers!) number is a major fav. Don't hate!

Moving on again.

Someone tweeted the other day, "Is there anything better than canceled plans?" And I so agree. As much as I'm looking forward to something, I always get a little rush of excitement when it gets canceled. Sad! Yesterday, my cleaning lady (this strikes me as a horrible label, somehow -- Woman Who Cleans My Home?) canceled just as I was rushing around and making things semi-okay for her to enter. I've made a pact with myself that I'm not going to clean for the cleaner, because that's just weird. But I still wanted to do a couple quick things. Then my phone buzz buzzed with a text and she was canceling and the skies opened up and rained Skittles and Peeps.

Think we might head to the Children's Museum today. Oh wait I might have a stalker. Or the Botanic Gardens! Or the Aquarium! Or the moon. NOW YOU'LL NEVA FIND ME.

Weekend roundup

I never knew about doughnuts till today. Oh...my.

 Firstly, do you guys watch 30 Rock? I'm picturing you all nodding right now and that makes me happy. I tend to let my DVR pile up with a few eps and then I catch up and I feel like shouting "I LOVE YOU, LIZ LEM!" So I do.

And in other news, it's still rainy/gray around here. Which, gotta be honest -- I don't really mind at all. I sometimes have Insecure About the Weekend syndrome (developed during college), an illness that makes me feel like I should have really awesome plans Friday night through Sunday afternoon. And when I hear about other people, and their busy/crazy/exciting weekends, I look down at my brother's old gray sweatpants falling off my bum and feel a little lame.

But when it rains! I have an excuse for doing what I really want to do. Which is: Eat doughnuts, lounge around, walk up and down the sidewalk and sniff flowers with Harper, cook and make my kitchen messy, watch my DVR, read my PD James, eat more doughnuts. I officially can't have rad plans because it's gloomy out! Or something.

No access to the indoors never looked so cute!

Saturday afternoon, H and I took a little jaunt to the doughnut shop and once we got home (our faces smothered in powder), she wanted to play outside in the sprinkles. (Rain sprinkles, not doughnut sprinkles, although that sounds more fun.) So I darted inside to get our coats and hats. But then I ... left our keys inside. Locked out and it feels so goooood. We had an hour out in the rain before cc heard our phoning/doorbelling/knocking/yelling. But hey, that night we slept like babies! (Babies who aren't nursing.)

And today, Harps helped me weed the backyard (by throwing all the pulled-ups into our inflatable swimming pool) and then do some vacuuming (I've got a vid of this for later -- girlfriend loves to clean) and spent close to an hour lifting my Method cleaning spray (Ginger yuzu! Not as delicious as the lavender, but it was time for a change) up and down off the coffee table with great focus and chatter.

Now to my blue-and-white comforter and some Brit reading and maybe a little om. Happy weekend's end!

Fine, Blogger, fine

Apparently, Blogger didn't approve of my rainy day semi-poem post. And it's...gone forever? Bye!

So back to our regularly scheduled programming.

We've had lots (well, in a relative Denver sense) of rain, which made for fun backyard splashing this morning when the sun returned. Pantsless water play is required around here, at least once a day.

Very concerned. About many things.

Bye bye wa-wa.

And now a completely apropos of nothing picture. Formerly mentioned yellow-flowers-in-glass-milk-jars and my polka dot pillow I finally finished. These caption centering issues are driving my OCD nuts.

Rainy, rainy Wednesday

Fast walking away from the bungalow and through the rain and alongside the lilac bushes, green boots stomping and glasses steamy. Harper under the stroller umbrella, snug in her wool cardy and pink fleece pants and sipping her milk sippy, fogging up the plastic with her sugar breath.

Meeting a girlfriend and her girl for lunch at the cafe a few jogs away. Shaking off the rain (and hail and fallen tree leaves and cold) and pulling off baby's soft purple hat. Room temp water in mason jars and brie/apple sandwich in one hand while shoveling blackberries and raspberries and snozberries into her bird mouth. Anything to keep her peaceful and full in the little chair, away from the angry feet of the big biceped waitresses.

Then both girls escaping to freedom, noses pressed against the glass back door, pointing to the soggy flowers and the white vintage stove, abandoned in the rain.

Things I really like right now

 I have a headache and cc's out on a bi'ness dinner and I'm watching Valley of the Dolls on Netflix (I read that book in one day a few years ago while hanging with cc in Fort Worth and avoiding the wretched heats) and I just feel like typing up some random recs:

Whole Foods sells these candles called Tru Melange (I do not support that name choice) and because I'm a cheapy, I get the travel size. This one is a mix of vanilla and peppermint and it's like a delicious subtle candy (is that a thing?) in your nose. It's a soy/beeswax combo and so it burns clean. (Important for asthma persons such as myself.) I love buying little extras like this, that don't cost much but feel like a treat. Treats get me through!

Green tea (home brewed hot then cooled down for a bit in the fridge -- because bottled/iced has already lost its antioxidants) mixed with Paul Newman's lemonade. I'm awful at getting my daily dose of green tea, but this makes it delicious/doable.

Any and all things California Baby. Sure, it costs an arm and a leg, but there's zero naughty chemicals and everything is delicious smelling and great for sensitive skin. I especially adore their eucalyptus bubble bath and their bedtime lotion -- smells like lavender and mint and chamomile and, well, dreams.

Bon Appetit magazine. The former tenants at our pad forgot to change the addy on all their subscrips. So! We get a lovely array of periodicals, including Nat Geo and The Annals of Internal Medicine (I wish I could say I was strong enough to resist reading it, but I'm too obsessed) and! Bon App. V good.

The table and chair set we bought (from a Montessori supply shop online) for Harps last month. She loves it and these days it's often the only place she'll eat. There's something so delicious about a baby person sitting in her own chair, isn't there?

Resisting the pull and keeping my hair un-highlighted. (Free!)

MY STEAM MOP.

Using glass milk jugs for yellow flowers.

(This list, upon re-read, makes me sound a little bit like a crazy crunchy person? Am I a crazy crunch person? I really like bad TV and cheeseburgers, I swear.)

Mumma day

Hello and hi! Firstly, thanks so much for all the "hey, keep hittin us with Harps bi'ness" words sent my way. You guys are too nice! I shall reward you with enough H tales to be charming, but not enough to send you barfing/regretting your encouragement.

Secondly, happy Mum Day! I hope it was either awesomely crazy or quiet and silly or full of strawberry shortcake ... whatever would make happy my fellow moms or soon-to-be moms or those many people who do motherly things for their friends or family or or or! These days are nice, but I always feel for my friends who have lost their mums or, for other reasons, might not have the day the commercials say it should be. Sometimes these days have crazy expectations, when really ... it's just a day!

As the back of one of H's books says: "Happy things, sad things -- they're all in a baby's day!" Makes me chuckle every time, yet it's also strangely wise?

Moving on.

I got to sleep LATE today, made easy by cc taking Harps out of the house for hours. If you can't hear little squawks and chirps, it's a lot easier to stay oblivious to the world at large. I was up before they were back and even had time to put in my contacts and Neti pot my nose (a daily must must must in my life) without someone clinging to my leg. Then there were flowers (called "owwwwwwers" by bumbum) and gifties and smooches from my lovies.

Elsewhere, spring has sprung, but here...summer has, well, shown up. Hard. It was mid-80's today, sun blazing, crazytalk today and (if this year is like last year), we'll keep that up through September. It's the kind of sun that's so intense, you get major color even with 30 SPF on. I see lots of indoor time from the hours of...sunrise to sunset for the next few months. Or at least noon to four? Must not get wrinkly, friendlies.

Didn't get any snaps today -- not even of H's brand new purple sandals she's so proud of -- but here's a little video the two of us made a couple days ago, right after waking up. Pretty much sums up why being a fulltimemom is my thing. I get to sidekick it up with this ham everyday all day.


Untitled from amy cowan on Vimeo.

A few Friday foughts uh thoughts

- We didn't have the Internets ('cept for on my phone) for a bunch of days. Because...the bill wasn't paid? When we moved there was a hiccup in the auto-pay, I guess, and therefore my Netflix streaming was forcefully ripped from my puny hands. When you rely on Simon and Simon episodes for that eighties screwball fix, things get dire without it. Also, I'm really behind on my blahg reading. Probably not a bad thing to distance myself from stranger's pregnancies I'm way too invested in?

- Went to Jane Eyre with Manj last night. I really enjoyed, though yet again we found ourselves hiding behind our hands, afraid of the screen. We have issues. This time, the screen was delivering up -- a crow I believe? Oooo sca-wee.

- I've been on a strange memoir kick. First, the New York Regional Mormon Halloween Singles Dance something or other, then Tina Fey's new book, and now Ice-T's. (Yes. I love him, deeply, zero irony, I'm not kidding.) I've been doing pretty good with my reading goal this year (think I've exceeded it already, not that the number was very lofty), though I'd like to try and read fewer things all at once. Currently, it's a crazyperson mix of hiphop gangster tales, Buddhism, and a mystery novel set in a post office.

- I've entered into the food battlezone with Harps. One day, she'll love something to pieces (banana and peanut butter), the next it's like I'm poisoning her. And she is not enjoying her high chair. And even if she's hungry, she's more interested in playing with her edemame than eating it. If I use her little table and chairs for eating, she's happy for a bit, but then she starts roaming around with her food and smearing it in my Uggs. These are the most cliched toddler complaints, I realize, but oh-so-frustrating! She'll actually wake up hungry (and finally chow down on dinner at 9 pm) because she won't eat dinner.  I know the solution is something along the lines of make her get hungry/don't hand her string cheese while she wanders around/food is for the table only or whatever, but she's a lady on the go! Doh. *head in hands*

- Thank the heavens for therapists and house cleaners.

- I find myself conflicted on this blog sometimes. Because it's read largely by faraway family members, I want to do some Harps bragging since that'll make 'em proud. But then, ew to people who find that ew. Am I right? Maybe I should create a little tab up top exclusively for that. But for now - girlfriend can say lots of words! I won't go into details or numbers because then that's ew, but she's a little chatty butt.

- Any ideas for a cool hat I can wear around to protect my delicate facial skins? Without looking like a dweebtoast? 

- All I want for Mother's Day is doughnuts and sleep.

A good nap

Interwebs down, but Harps isn't losing sleep over it.

Mini me

Starting forever ago, I fell in love with the mirror. Or a window-at-night. A large window-at-night is a really effective lip synching mirror, too. Did you know?

I spent much of my youth belting out show tunes in front of my living room window and/or my bedroom mirror. I'm sure we all did this, but I promise you I did it more. I've also been known to watch myself cry in the bathroom mirror because it's a morbidly fascinating project. Or talk to myself and watch how my mouth moves while I pluck my eyebrows real up close and personal.

It was a real surprise when I chose theater school.

Anyways, this is all to say my little apple has not fallen far from her tree.

Macs have a program called Photo Booth, that allows you to take self-portraits or self-videos. Harps figured it out and now she's obsessed. It's a good way to kill 5-10 minutes when I just need to sip my tea while it's still relatively hot or I want to pee by myself. This vid below was one of the first times she got ahold of it. I can't even deal, really. I love it all, but especially the coy one-shoulder shrug she keeps doing while she shamelessly flirts with...herself.

(Oh, also -- she whips her socks off at bedtime faster than I can put them on. Girl needs bare feet to sleep, just like me. Aw, genes.)

Table for dos

Sometimes cc sneaks home from work real fast to catch a bite to eat with his lovely lady.

She loves it.

(And did you know naan tastes best on a fork?)

Happy Eeeeeeaster!

She'll always want to hold my hand, right? RIGHT?

You can't see really, but those are star-covered, rouched leggings. Yessum.

Easter! No, we don't do the Jesus thing around here (hey, but I'm coming closer and closer to getting all hardcore Buddhist on your a*$ ... quick scene last night around the television: Clay looking at used Porsches on his comp, me blurting out: "Oh hey! This place has a THREE MONTH SILENT MEDITATION RETREAT!" Yet, somehow, we work...), but I'm into the metaphorical meanings of it all. How can't you be?

It was just us 3bees, but we got lil peep dressed up, hid plastic eggs (filled with Kashi cereal?) around the backyard, and handed her a basket (hand delivered last night by our previously mentioned hoarder neighbors...which came two minutes after we realized she didn't have one...I shall never speak evil of them agayn!). The whole getup (dress + uggs + wet grass + huge basket) was a little unwieldy, but she totally got the concept and twirled around the yard gathering neon plastic lovies with a big ol' grin.

Video ev:



But my favorite moment came when cc started airplaning her around and around the prayer flag tree and I flew after them then reverse...squeals and fresh air and suddenly we're all kiddos again, together. Easter!

And then we piled in the car and ate Med food (gotta honor my peeps occasionally) and then bought new bikes. Because, as we realized, bikes don't just come readysetgo in your garage. Turns out they must be procured, and procured they were. As the raindrops started to fall, we each took a few runs around the block on our new sweet rides. (Bike riding on Denver sidewalks is iiiiiinfinitely more doable than doing so on SF sidewalks...)

Oh and! While H and dada were on a trip together, I f-i-n-a-l-l-y busted out my sewing machine and started working on a pillow I'd pinned together months (literally) ago. Is there a chance I might actually figure it out and make cute things for people on earth? TBD, TBD...But I'm having fun.

And with that! I bid you adieu. Next time you see me, I'll have Peeps sugar all over my face, as first thing tomorrow I'll be hitting up the candy sales. (Can you believe I haven't had ONE Peep yet?! The restraint!)

Couple bonus pics:

Weirdo angle.  Lo siento, my besties!

Awaiting some grass seeds from our landlord...

Sad day except for cute baby

This pic really doesn't capture the correct scale of this eNORmous/awesome Richard Scarry book.

 

 

Saw my mom/H's gram off on a Jetblue jet today. I'm always sad when our visits end, but this time felt especially hard. I spent the rest of the day pretty mopey/maudlin/Cadbury egg eating.

I've had a turbulent and challenging past few months, and so her week here was really welcomed and needed and loved. Sometimes you don't even realize how much help you're missing until you're suddenly getting it. And as awesome as it was to have company and a major Harps helper and an insane laundry doer and a fellow thrift store shopper and high chair wiper downer and career advice giver etc etc -- it makes it sting that much more once it's gone.

Her visit also comes at a time I'm feeling especially homesick. So to send her back East, back where all my peeps are -- Ben and Amanda's new baby, my brother graduating from grad school (go T!!!), all the pretty lady babies dressed up in Easter dresses -- makes me feel way left out and lonely. Just the truth. Cuz as my city college professor used to tell us (about nothing, in particular): "You got to keep it real." God, I'm glad I went there.

But! Enough sad talk. Our visit really was awesome and not sad in the least! We visited Red Rocks and let Harps walk up and down the streets and little bridges of Morrison, we shared chocolate milkshakes, we shopped for fabric, we took many many walks, ate cupcakes, danced a tad too enthusiastically to Cats, taught Harper how to sniff flowers...

Speaking of Harpsychordy. Girlfriend is really having a learning spurt! Is that a thing? A learning binge? No? She's picking up words like mad and doing all these insane little tricks (must get this one on film STAT: she looks at a picture of someone doing downward dog and will get on the floor and do it! perfect form!!) and just being a total ham. She was also insanely crabby and needy the past couple days, so the tricks were a welcome distraction inbetween the wails.

For the peeps who do vids, here's H tonight, saying hi to "baby" -- aka her new cousin, Annabelle. Hearts!

Sorry for the quiet

Harps and I are busy playing with my momz -- in the dirt/flowers/springtimeness. Back soon!

I just found this picture on cc's phone and oh my what

Perhaps the greatest Harps candid eva taken. LOOK AT HER CHUBBY LEGS HELP ME JEEBZ!

And the cloth dipes (sob sob sob) and the dada cuddle and the toe! touch!

Man, I'm loving it hard.

What else what else?

Oh, I cooked cc meat tonight (and by "meat" I mean chicken), which thrilled him and made me feel like a nice-ish person. I also made an ENORMOUS amount of roasted asparagus. Harps and I eat it like candy, while he frowns and sniffs in confusion. I'm letting it all digest a bit before I attempt my third cupcake of the day. Dude brought me home a box of them last night, which is just unsafe.

Tomorrow night my momz lands! I'm trying to get at least half of my huge stack of laundry done, so she doesn't think I've fully regressed since she last left. (I have.) But then, of course, I'll leave the other half undone so she has something to do. Wouldn't want her getting bored!

Hope to get those last few lingering boxes unpacked while she's here, as well as my eyebrows unbushy, some bread and vegan ginger cookies baked, and maybe sleep past 8 am? TBD, TBD.

And now it's raining out. Always at night, Colorado, always at night! I have my super cute green Hunters I got to wear in SF, but never here. Unless I take out the garbage and wave hello to our crazy neighbors ("DON'T KNOCK ON OUR DOOR, WE WON'T ANSWER."), who in addition to their piles and piles of inside junk might want to steal them off my feet.

Ni'ni! (*slaps hand to face in imitation of H's almost-but-not-quite ni'ni signing*)

Toe-ahst

Everybody should be this awesome:

Vailz

Guys. I'm cool. Shut up.
Made cc take this pic because look at the sign!
Top of Vail Mountain, 11,250 feet. Ow ow!

Friday afternoon, we packed up the truck and headed to the mountains. Biscuit in the backseat, snacks in a paper bag, skis on the roof. Quick lil ride up (bout 2 hours) and we were in high up in the sky. Cute little condo for the Cowans, paid up with points. (Thanks for traveling 4 days a week for 4 years, cc!)

Walked to a pizza parlor dinner (H absolutely crushed some cheese pizza AND gnocchi with meat sauce -- is this really my baby?) finished up with delicioso chocolate cake. (Harper liked that, too.) Yes please every night?

Morning brought crazy sunny skies and warm temps and a nervous mama -- was about to go skiing for the first time since I was 12 AND leave Harps at a bottom-of-the-mountain daycare for the first time ever. She cried as we left, but I had to step away step awaaaaaaay. Ugh, no likey.

Skiing! Skiing was...skiing was fun! The first half. I learned to plow down and did little turns and didn't fall off the ski lift huzzah! cc's a great teacher and after a few runs on the bunny hill, we headed up (up up UP UP UP) to the top of Vail. Holy HIGH ah! And then we cruised down the triple black diamond the end!

Dorkiest picture of us ever? Yes.
I have to keep it small.

Okay, well, green. We did green. And got down half the mountain in good spirits. Then lunch (bbq outside on picnic tables -- checking up on H via cell and then relaxing/appreciating eating a sammich without a fiending toddler by my side...) and then hey, "just the second half of the mountain" and we could pick up my baby!

I'll keep it short: Had a total meltdown that last chunk. It was a looooooong last chunk and my legs were dying dead and dying. And my boots hurt and I was shaky and got re-scared and bratty and beyond crabby. I kept yelling "I MISS HARPER!" (which, hey, I did) and then I'd realize I had to MOVE to get to see her, but then my legs were shaking with fatigue and right...over...that...little...edge was a crazy black diamond drop and people were zooming! Anywho. I hate how I get like that, but lesson learned. Happy times are early/untired times. Getting to knowwww meeeee...

Cue some H and mama shots:

Snuggling in our jammies.

Nutjobs unite!

Saturday night we left the kiddos (Manj and bean and fam were there, too) alone, I mean with a sitter, and hit the town! It was DUMPING snow. Dumping snow. Which terrified me and made me another whiny boo for awhile, but then we got to the restaurant and were cozied back in a corner, overlooking Narnia trees and a creek and snowflakes and okay okay -- I can do this. Lovely night out for the homebodies! (For my own records, I ate duck and bok choy and brussel sprouts and mushrooms and, very strangely, a mojito? And, not very strangely, sticky toffee pudding. Which we got for free because they were out of donuts. Happy but also sad.)

Why is this picture so hilarious to me.

This morning cc hit the slopes solo (whew) while H and I drank cappuccinos and watched Frasier reruns as the snow fell. (She napped actually.)

Thanks for bearing with my total recap. I have fun looking back on these things down the road, so sometimes I just gotta jot it down. Oh and! Can I say, also for my records, that I just LOVE 14 months? Love. The happiness, the new words, the walking, the I'm-still-kind-of-a-baby cuddles and goopy kisses, the loving to read, the strangely easygoing and good sleepingness? It's just yes! (I need to write this, so that in one or two or whatever months, when things are annoying, I'll remember the yesness.)

So in summation: Weekends away = fun! Vail = insanely beautiful and a little altitude sicky! Harper = world champion! Home = my love!

(And for family members afar and/or people who care, here's Harps movin OUT tonight at the park nextdoor. Eep!!)

Be kind rewind

Think of the children!

Yo! I just want to make a quick aside, mkah?

I know there're some people out there, in-real-life and on-the-interwebs, that are...annoyed/hurt/confused by either my lack of emails/slow response to phone calls/making my Facebook semi-privatey/sticking up for my familyunit in a bitchy way/being introverted/having brown hair.


And for that, I'll use cc's favorite phrase: I'm sorry you're upset.


However. I'm guessing if you knew all the ins and outs of my little life, you'd understand that I'm really trying my best. Just like if we all understood the ins and outs of everyone's little life, we'd all be a little kinder. 


You know?


I think you know.


But if you still want to punch my face -- that's cool! 


*ducks*


(Of course there have been aplenty aplenty of people who have been too-understanding-for-words. And to them I owe many xoxoxoxo's.)

Morning meeting

Before glasses or showers or highchairs there's morning meeting. We talk action items, next steps, soy milk, and Mr. Bear. The productivity (and cuddles) are intense!

You didn't read this?

Getting into bed the other night, cc literally said "woh!" with eyes lit up when he saw my bedtime apparel. Sexy lacy yada yada numba? Uh, no. A (stained) gray camisole from Gap. Pretty much broke my ragamuffin heart that that = a treat.

So today, I went to Vicky C's and spent some cash. I now own 6 bras (!?!?!?) that actually fit (!?!?!?) and 10 pair of unders-not-from-Costco-or-Sears. I have no idea why I'm sharing this except...one of the main reasons I don't usually buy this stuff is that no one else sees it? Which seems wasteful and stoopid. But again -- cc deserves a little better. And really, so do I. I already feel a tad bit under 90yearsold now that my unmentionables are sort of mentionable. (I'm still watching Murder She Wrote during naptime, tho, let's not get crazy.)

So now you get to know what's going on with my unders! Wait no that's creepy. Just remember I'm not wearing uglies anymore! No, don't do that either. Ah yes, nevermind, delete post!

Baby stepz

So. HJ's been playing with taking a couple steps here and there for a bit, but today she started to go for it! Nothing gets her grooving like this book (thanks, Jen!) -- she's completely obsessed and brings it over to me to read approximately 6,783 times a day. Anywho. Here ya go! Cuteness in a click!

(And isn't she tall? Weirdly tall! And look at that little curl at the back of her head! I die.)

Why she's not getting the keys anymore.

Harps favorite non-toy (but aren't all favorites non-toys, really?) is my keys. Oh, the glittering baubles and shiny metallic wonderment! I usually hand them over en route to the car and she gets to tinker with them while I buckle her in. A few weeks ago, she discovered the LOCK button (dum dum dum foreshadowwwwwing), which was only mildly annoying until yesterday. Cough.

I boogied her out of naptime attire and hurried to story time, for our favorite reader -- Mr. Jeff. He's kind of bizarre, but he's gentle and tells little stories about his life and I'm pretty much fascinated. Harps likes him, too. 'Course we got there and some twenty-something chick in a pilly sweater was feebly singing the alphabet, so all for naught. Doh.

After hitting up the swings and dirt and a four-year-old who was obsessed with Harps and followed her around high and low (why must this happen to us always everywhere? little girls attach themselves to H and keep asking me 'CAN I TOUCH HER?' eeeeeeeeeeeeeep), we headed to the car.

She grabbed my keys, must have immediately pressed lock, I snuggled her in, handed her a chunk of banana and her book and threw my keys onto the front seat. (Why whyyyyy, asks Nancy Kerrigan?) Thwap, close her door and realize with a sinking feeling...

Yup. Locked locked closed locked can't get in oh my locked hello! Wave to mumma!

Now, have this happen on a sweltering day with a newborn and I'dda lost my noodle HARD. However. It was a blustery day, she was happily munching on a 'nana, and there were a gajillion people around. Secured a passerby's phone ("Oh, I've done that!" "Me too!" said her friend. Followed by: "This is why we pay our taxes!!!!" Which, I mean, I agree -- but it made me feel strangely uncomfortable and was I supposed to maybe salute the library's flag?) and called 911.

Within 2 minutes, a firetruck was pulling up. SIRENZ and lights and six men storming my car! I couldn't stop giggling nervously and saying "I've never done this before! I never have! NEVER!" Which I'm sure reassured them wholly. Took them about 5 minutes to shimmy open the lock, at which point they individually came over to Harps and made sure she was okay. A little sweaty and totally confused why big ol' men were peering in at her banana-face, but definitely okay.

She gave a little flirty head tilt and a "eh?" sound, which was my cue to explain who everyone was. With a little nod, she accepted my answer and I said thank you as many times as I could fit in, before they drove away on their trusty steed and I hung my head in exhaustion and momfailness.

All in a day's work, people!

I have no idea

And I'd say "excuse the crazy hair and no makeup" but let's be honest; I always look like this. 

*(Now maybe with a vid that works?)

Why my eyebrows are a little thicker than usual

Christina Applegate in Don't Tell Mom the Babysitter's Dead was THE epitome of beautifulness and chic when I was a littleone. Watching it now (I bow to your wisdom-in-programming, HBO), I can't even see the error of my thinking. She still looks amazing and suddenly I'm eBay'ing high-waisted pleated pants in olive drab.

If you give a girl a donut (shirt)

Didn't get my mama's flat booty. Phew.

Tough to get a head-on pic these days (especially when the subject is climbing all over the couch), but I had to document HJ's new skinny jeans (yes, BabyGap, I fell for it) and donut t-shirt.

One of the donuts? Is saying "ouch!" because it has a bite out of it. Which is apropos, since Harps spent a good 10 minutes trying to eat them off her shirt this morning.

When you have a grumpy day

Oh, the first half of tomorrow* was bad. Bad bad bad. People were mad at me, I was mad at me, I had a headache, H wouldn't nap, I felt restless and my skin was dry and I could only find 1 of her Smartwool sock in the dryer, and my new phone would not activate and I had to make FIVE separate calls to customer service, and my half 'n half had weird little chunks when I poured it. 

It's funny how writing those things out makes them pedestrian and sitcommy and silly, but I felt entirely disheartened. I actually said the words "I miss my mom" to...myself and then stared out the window and then built another tower of wooden blocks.

But then, the sun came out and I got my phone working and I finally changed us both out of our lentils-covered pajamas and put her in those cute little gray sneakers and hit the playground next-door. And she was in SUCH a good mood, crawling under the bridge and halfway up the little green slide, and picking up little pebbles and staring in awe at the big kids -- that I just couldn't keep the lingering sour taste in my mouth. 

All my shirts are 9 month shirts, mom! Not s'posed to be 3/4 sleeve!

Dewdrop.

We wrapped up our play session, then headed out for a bit and I bought her a pink soccer ball. (She's obsessed.) And we rolled it back and forth on the back deck and sipped on orange juice and felt the sun get cooler on our hands and cheeks.

Tho it took a really long time for her to go down (damn canine teeth!), by 8:00 cc and I were out the door, babysitter in place, my seat warmer toasty.

Because? We had courtside seats to the Nuggets. (thanks, working-for-a-sportsy-company benefits!!) And tho they played a killa team, the Nuggs pulled out a win at the end (I kind of love basketball, but don't tell anyone) and it was exciting! And I was oooouuuuut without a baby and they came to my seat and asked if I wanted anything and I wanted NACHOS. And I cuddled cc's neck until he made me stop and we didn't get home till almost midnight what!

It was just what I needed. Oh, and those up-close-seats are just as cool as they've always looked to me on the teevs. Kinda like this:

Swooosh.

*I just realized I wrote "tomorrow" instead of "yesterday" which is too funny to correct. I IS PROPHET AND KNOW WHAT TOMORROW WILL BE. 

I kinda hate when posts have video, but there are grandparents to appease...

I was somehow graced with a chillun who has an amazing attention span.

(It comes to her naturally, but I will say I foster it by totally leaving her alone when she's in a groove...and chugging my coffee in a corner)

(Except when I can't help myself and must tape her)

Tonight, right at bedtime, she started playing with a pile of (dirty) clothes. Lasted at least 20 minutes. Total, utter focus. Deep breathing. Sorting of reds and whites. Titanic (?!?!) playing in the background.

This is why we really don't need to buy these bums toys. (But I'll never stop!)

I feel a little like Bob Saget circa 1991 narrating vids.

Milkshaaaaaaaakez

A girl and her dog and her shake.

We're in a weird limbo nap phase, where she mostly still needs 2, but at strange new times and sometimes she only does 1 but is then a total demon child. Sunday afternoon she finally took a snooze longer than 40 minutes. I was so pleased, I handed her the rest of my chocolate milkshake (sneakily procured during her slumber -- we've been eating waaaay too healthy and I needed a treat) (also -- what gives? I say 'milkshake' now instead of 'frappe'? F!)

She sucked that sucker down so fast, didn't have time to blink and/or steal it back. What can I say? Girl is coco for cocoamilk.

Can't date till she's 40.

Just some randoms and a picture of H-money in a dress

1. Harper in a dress. Doesn't happen everyday, but she was into it. And so was I. (The tulle the tulle!!)

2. Anyone else watching the last season of Big Love? I feel alone in my viewership and need to discuss some of the seriously WTF things happening.

3. Bras. I hate them. I've gotten really bad and lazy about even putting them on lately, which really isn't appropriate. Please give me recs for really amazingly comfortable ones? Pretty please?

4. I cooked lentils today and they actually taste good! Miracle of miracles and king of kings!

5. I'm not a big candy person, but I find Easter candy unbelievably irresistible. Well, obviously. But I'm also consumed by those maple-cream-filled chocolate eggs. Sort of salty, sort of grainy, all of rabidly delicious.

6. I hate how weird and nervous and flirty Ina gets when she has a guest (usually male) helping her cook in the kitchen. "Does this look good?" she asks, chopping an onion. Really? Quit it, hero!

7. Harper's new favorite little game is taking Clay's temperature in the mornings. The thermometer lives on my bedside table (NO, not for fertility purposes -- I just never put it away after he had a little fever) and she knows how to use it (not from her own experience, since that's not exactly where she gets hers taken...) -- She reaches over to grab it, pushes his head down into place, and puts it right-side-in to his mouth. Then waits a few seconds, takes it out and looks at it. To die for.

8. I miss knitting. Need to get out my needles.

9. What in the hell do you guys eat for lunch? Especially stay-at-home people. I feel like I'm always hungry and struggling to find something easy and filling and healthy. All thoughts accepted.

10. I'm throwing my hat into the Casey Abrams ring for Idol this year.

11. Friday!

She was really excited about our new J Adler saltandpepper shakers

If I let her make a huge mess, I have a few minutes to myself. But then I've also subtracted a bunch of minutes for clean-up I have to do later. Harumph.

(That t-shirt? Borrowed from her boyfriend before their afternoon walk-around-the-park together. Her ladybug turtleneck wasn't really cutting it in the 80 DEGREE WEATHA WHAT?!)

Eaten by a scarf

I'm spending this naptime drinking out of a Missouri mug (given to me during my semi-pre-term labor saga) and pondering the question of: Should dads really host playgroup? A mom in mine just informed us her husband unit would be hosting from now on -- and that was that.

It feels suuuuuuuper awkward and strange to me. Try and talk me out of my judgies, but I'm guessing you'll fail?

My new sunny room

Best couch eva. Turns into a full-on pull-out fort.
Ikea I missssss you. 

This room is what sold me on the new digs. It's connected to the kitchen and has superhigh ceilings and just feels light and airy, but also cozy. And the sun won't quit, yo.

Perfect for drinking half-and-half-heavy coffee while watching Chesney pull dental floss in and out of a plastic baggie.

May your weekend

Be as good as alone time with a roll of toilet paper.

I call this shot

Climbing inside bookshelves and throwing semi-empty, abandoned Starbucks cups. (Have you tried their new cocoa cappuccino? Oh yes.)

Then rinse repeat.

People. I'm going to admit out loud these aren't the easiest days of motherhood. I'm tired. I've been through a lot. She needs a lot and I give it to her. I'm just really feeling...like I need a 2 week vacay somewhere warm and full of servants that make grilled cheese and tomato sammies alongside a frosty cranberry juice with lots of crushed ice. Also a masseuse that looks like David Duchovny circa mid-nineties.

Am I still typing? Ni'ni'.

Pretty much summing it up

Love this pic:

12-18 month jeans that are absolute flood pants. Please note they aren't/can't be buttoned either. We'z nuthin but class over here.

Filthy face.

Filthy barefeet.

Frantically frantically signing for more Gingersnaps. My current bribery food while I unpack one very very slow box at a time.

Odds they're prepping to take her away from me?

Huzzah for handmedown xylophones and homes

The move was exhausting, but we did it! We haz aliveness!

Loving the new pad and all its airiness and flow. (Just imagine all those boxes gone...)

I'll do a lil house tour once we're settled! Off to ice my head -- shower curtain rod fell on it as I was trying to be handy. I'll take the hint to stop and sip my caffeine instead.

Before my life is in complete chaos (oh wait, it already is?)

I wanted to tell you about my new child, the toddler.

It seems like overnight, she went from a gooey baby to a saucy todd -- complete with too many tricks and passions and tantrums. It's awesome how she's a real person now, but it's also exhausting at a whole new level. Without dire consequences (major fit), I can't: Talk on the phone, use my computer, eat, look at a magazine, drink from a mug, take anything away from her. Don't worry, Dr. Phil/Supernanny/MIL/whoever else, I say no/follow thru/take sh*t away quite frequently. It's just painful.

Yesterday, we got the cutestcutestcutestcutest package in the mail from my mom. Well, the package wasn't cute. But the inside contents! Wooeee. She made Harps a dress (and a pair of pants!) from recycled t-shirts and -- they are very delicious and completely Etsy-worthy. As we opened the puffy envelope together on the side porch steps, Harps quickly grabbed the (pink and with some studded sparkles) dress and then, for the next hour, WOULD NOT LET IT GO. At all. No. Stop, mom. You touch my stuff -- I kill you. You call me Frances? I KILL YOU. Oh sorry. Different story.

Nothing can slow me down. Not with Dressy by my side.

I thought our up-and-down the sidewalk game would distract, but I was proven very very wrong. Held onto it for dear life, sniffed it, put it over her shoulder, laid it down on the sidewalk and took a 3 second nap with it. And when I gingerly took it away (or even put it on her -- I thought that might be a good compromise?) she screamed at the top of her lungs and then real tears and then hiccups of sorrow.

Directly after I gave in and returned the bounty. 

So hey, Grammy! We love the clothes! You're the best! But what the hell did you make them from? Catnip/crack/Charlie Sheen?!

THEY'RE AFTER ME!

Places I have lived in the past 10 years

I think I need to sign up for that ancestry.com stuff and see if my peeps were hardcore nomads.

Because...

• 2000-2001: Boston University, Claflin Hall, 9th Floor (The Fine Arts majors floor woooeeeee!)
• 2001-2002: James Madison University, Blue Ridge Hall (The transfers dorm!), 2nd Floor
• 2002-2004: 72 Gardner Street, Apt 1, Allston, MA (My real world house. Fo realz)
• Couple months of 2004: An apartment in Brighton, MA (Met cc and bailed -- sorry, girls)
• 2004-2005: Clay's place in Cambridge, MA (An old, drafty house btwn Harvard and Central Sqs)
• 2005-2006: My cozycozy studio on Myrtle Street in Beacon Hill, Boston (with a red couch!)
• A few months in 2006: A sublet in Santa Monica, Cali (A delicious place to live)
• A few months in 2006: Another sublet in West Hollywood, Cali (Not so delicious)
• 2007-2009: 2105 Broadway St, teeny tiny apartment with a green wall, San Francisco 
• 2009-2010: 2200 Sacramento St, apartment-in-the-sky, SF (I miss you Billy the doorman!!)
• Few months in 2010: 12th floor of the Glass House, downtown Denver (I miss you, furniture!)
• Few months in 2010/2011: Our bungalow in Wash Park, Denver 
• 2011-?????: Our 100-year-old housey in Bonnie Brae, Denver

And lots of inbetween/backandforth stays at our old pad in Groton, Massachusetts -- my beloved 40 Wallace.

I'M EXHAUSTED JUST TYPING THAT.

Any of ya'll live with me any of those places? Any of ya'll move as much?? (I might even beat cc?!)

COUNTDOWN

Ya'll. We move in ... I don't know. Four days? That sounds right. Or wrong, rather.

*takes another 12 bites of frozen cookie dough from a bucket*

Living far away from family is really hard at times like these. (Also because my cousin and his wifeywife just had THEIR DELICIOUS BABY GIRL AND I CAN'T INHALE HER.)

However! I can inhale my own Biscuit. Who really does make our lives oh-so-very good.