the last time i went horseback riding

i was twelve and vacationing with my fam on prince edward island. (yes, we're wasps - mmkah?) the whole thing must have been fairly uneventful because i hold only vague memories of it.

so when casey and steve invited us and 10 others for a day of brunching and riding, we said why the hay not? (you caught that, right?)

we trekked our vw across the golden gate into the north bay where the weather was insane - low 70's, super blue skies, venti cups of sunshine. we stopped at point reyes station, a sleepy little town i wanted to pedal around in a beach cruiser, picking wildflowers and staring into space. instead, i ate a tuna melt, drank a coke, and followed the caravan down to the horse ranch.

i wasn't nervous until i actually saw the horses. they weren't ponies, people, they were, like, real horses. did you know this? that they put untrained people onto big horses and tell you go? i know i'm all americanized and wimpy, but where was my lesson? they really shouldn't trust me so much.

we started out slow, which was mellow and thumbs up with me. but then our leader made us pick up speed and trot and oh dear mother of god this was not okay. i don't advertise the fact, but i've got almost no junk in my trunk - flat bum city. so up and down and up and down onto my skin and boney bones = !? then i'd shift a little and slam down onto my lady bits and that hurt even worse, like a razor blade punch. i kept up a constant soundtrack of moan/hiccup/laugh/scream, but i guess nobody cared that i can't bear children now? so i had to keep going.

and we weren't galloping through open fields, smoking marlboros, getting tans. no, we were nestled in the deep, dark redwoods, riding up and down alongside huge, steep ravines. as in, your horse spooks, slips and bye!

add to this the riding instructor who says, as we're pulling away from the ranch:

"ooo-eee. hope we don't see any bicycles today! if we see one, your horse will freak."

and the little girl who pet my horse - named jesse - after i got on and said to me:

"jesse ran over me last week."

um? mom?

but when we slowed down and i made myself stop thinking about lance armstrong dropping by and our whole herd sprinting for the border, i actually enjoyed myself. it was very cowgirl klompety klomp relaxing through greens and i loved the crew i was with - mostly new to me and just v fun and funny. plus, it was so california, so mmm to get all that fresh air and so 2009 to do something i wouldn't usually do.

a few pics below, the full set (with captions by cc) here:


steve and me wearing our helmets. the only ones who did, i might add. you're welcome, parents!

cover shot for horse fancy.

this involuntary fear pose is why loved ones tell me i look like a turtle. (and my boots in action! don't i kind of look like a boarding school horse girl type? just say yes.)


thanks, casey and crew, for dragging our lazy asses out of the hatch!