Monday, August 27, 2012

Goodbye, so yong, fah-well ah friends.

I haven't been posting these past slew of days because 1) We've been busy wrapping up summertime with all of that swimming and ice creaming and muumuu wearing we like to do and 2) I had a lump in my throat and didn't want to write this post. (Spoiler: Everyone's fine.)

The truth is, after much (much too much to be honest) thinking, I've decided to close up shop at BJA.

I've gone back and forth so many times; totally convincing myself it was the right thing during Monday's shower and then totally convincing myself it wasn't during Wednesday's. (I don't shower everyday, okay?) Back and forth, rinse repeat, apply conditioner liberally.

This little project here has been chugging along -- through Los Angeles days and San Francisco days, pre-engagement days and wedding planning days, honeymoon days and pregnancy days, newborn days and dog days and scary days and awesome ones -- for six (6!) years and it seems so very strange to say goodbye.

But something won't stop tapping me on shoulder: "You're done now, I think." It's just a feeling that keeps coming back.

I've made real friends over here. Friends I really hope to meet in person one day that I never would have met otherwise. I had no idea that would happen when I wrote my first post about... Ashlee Simpson's new hair color, I believe? (I miss you, Ash!) It seems almost magical that there are now people sprinkled throughout the country/world who know me and my bi'ness and send me well wishes and funny emails and homemade underwear. It makes me feel really lucky; these people got me through some very dark times.

The interesting thing, though, and one of the central reasons I'm stopping, is I feel like some of my real life relationships sometimes get funky because of what I write here. I don't mean anything crazy dramatic by that (and I'm not talking about life with cc or Harper), I just mean: When you put your life online and then tell people you know where they can read about it, things can get a little lopsided/one-sided in friendships. They know what I wore to Whole Foods last night, I have no idea where they live now. It's only normal, but I'm ready to move on from that.

I'm also ready to give HJ a bit more online privacy. I'm all over the map when it comes to my feelings about kids and the Internet, but something in my gut is telling me to step back right now.

And I'm ready to write new things, different things. I've got a new story underway that I hope to devote a lot of time to. Maybe I'll start a salty anonymous Tumblr where I can be a lot more irreverent and inappropriate. Maybe. I just know I love to write and have many little stories and words inside of me I want to put out there. Just gots to find the right how.

I'm dragging this out too long already, I know. So I'll leave it alone with this:

Thank you, thank you, thank you to everyone who has read along and cheered along and brought me and my family such brightness and laughter and support these past six years. I'm really going to miss this cozy space of mine. It's been so good for me.

All the best, friends.

Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Wednesday (how's it only Wednesday?)

I'll always love this picture because it will always remind me of the day we hung at the children's museum, most of which was spent in line waiting for a ride on their solar powered train. Of which Harper was obsessed with. 

The whole thing was really poorly orchestrated, so Jones and I had to wait almost an hour to get our turn, but she was such a champ. Running around a little, talking up strangers, drinking a juicebox, playing an impromptu dress-up sesh with random things in my bag.

"Are you sad we're missing the train, Mommy?"

"I am! I am." (I really was... I was much more distraught than she was. Maybe because I knew those thunder rumbles might take away our dream. Maybe because I have the patience of an infant.)

"Don't wu-rry! I'll find it!"

Love her buns.

Speaking of buns! Her first undies arrived tonight via the miracle of Amazon Prime and she is just deliciously delicious in them. What a lil lady.

Now! Let's just hope she can pull it togethah and not wake up for the fourth night in a row at 3:02 on the dot. First night she was upset about all the "hot water!!!!!"(?), the second night there was a bug in her blanket (no, there wasn't), and last night... I forget; my brain was leaking a little bit by that point.

So wish me luck gettin' through those wily hours? Thanks to you!

Monday, August 13, 2012

I just walked to Whole Foods in the dark to get cc some ginger snaps

So I'm running low on batteries. We also started this morning with Harper requesting a robot costume (which we produced), so. Busy day.

But because I'm realizing more and more this ol' blog is to document for me, for my family, our days together -- I didn't want to forget to remember the little summer supper picnic on the beach I forced upon my two favorites. A vision quest complete!

I bought some sammies and chips and pickles and iced teas and peaches. I put out the red blanket and handed Harper some low budget beach toys (two cups). The ocean air was still warm, but not chilly yet, and we ate our foods and then made sand castles and then I snuck away to swim a bit solo while they played. Joy!

And then I scolded cc because didn't he want to take pictures of his two ladies playing? Hello! We're adorable.

(And now summer may come to a close and fall may bring along not-burning-like-a-fire temperatures and deliciously spicy chais.)

Monday, August 06, 2012

Before I zonk

Harper June: If you ever read this little blog someday, I want you to know the nurse at your pediatrician's office today (it was check-up time) told me you are, and I quote: "literally the strongest 2-year-old" she's ever met. "No, I mean it."

Sure, she found this out when you kicked the sh*t out of her trying to give you a shot. And sure, she had to give you said shot two times because of your Hulk-like insanity. But details, details. As she said: "It's a good thing -- just...very intense. Warn her future nurses."

Man. I love having such a feisty and smart and strong daughter. Keep it up, Jones. Pow pow!

Thursday, August 02, 2012

Please someone tell my dog to lie down and sleep it's nighttime

Much to cc's horror, I now own (and wear) (in public) a muumuu. It's glorious.

But hey, he's wearing plaid shorts and winter socks while watching women's gymnastics sooooooo. So.

And now, three things about the song "My Boyfriend's Back" by, apparently, The Angels:

1) I used to (1990ish) sing with abandon the following lyrics:

He went away and you hung around
And bothered me, every night
And when I wouldn't go out with you
You said things that weren't very nice

At this point, I am so disturbed by her prudishness I don't know where to begin.

2) I was so into this song back in 6th grade (I've always been extremely timely) that I wrote new lyrics to it for a Nancy Drew book report. And then performed it in front of my class. Pretty sure no other 11-year-olds had any idea what I was doing. (I'm also tickled by the fact I was already academically mailing it in back then. Nancy Drew? Amy, Amy, Amy.)

3) Harper love love loves this jam. (I've got it on an old mix CD a friend made me years ago.) I'll be scanning through the tunes and this comes on and she yells out "I like this one!!!!" before I can change it. Like (crazy) mother like (crazy) daughter.

Happy end 'o week!