Monday, August 27, 2012

Goodbye, so yong, fah-well ah friends.

I haven't been posting these past slew of days because 1) We've been busy wrapping up summertime with all of that swimming and ice creaming and muumuu wearing we like to do and 2) I had a lump in my throat and didn't want to write this post. (Spoiler: Everyone's fine.)

The truth is, after much (much too much to be honest) thinking, I've decided to close up shop at BJA.

I've gone back and forth so many times; totally convincing myself it was the right thing during Monday's shower and then totally convincing myself it wasn't during Wednesday's. (I don't shower everyday, okay?) Back and forth, rinse repeat, apply conditioner liberally.

This little project here has been chugging along -- through Los Angeles days and San Francisco days, pre-engagement days and wedding planning days, honeymoon days and pregnancy days, newborn days and dog days and scary days and awesome ones -- for six (6!) years and it seems so very strange to say goodbye.

But something won't stop tapping me on shoulder: "You're done now, I think." It's just a feeling that keeps coming back.

I've made real friends over here. Friends I really hope to meet in person one day that I never would have met otherwise. I had no idea that would happen when I wrote my first post about... Ashlee Simpson's new hair color, I believe? (I miss you, Ash!) It seems almost magical that there are now people sprinkled throughout the country/world who know me and my bi'ness and send me well wishes and funny emails and homemade underwear. It makes me feel really lucky; these people got me through some very dark times.

The interesting thing, though, and one of the central reasons I'm stopping, is I feel like some of my real life relationships sometimes get funky because of what I write here. I don't mean anything crazy dramatic by that (and I'm not talking about life with cc or Harper), I just mean: When you put your life online and then tell people you know where they can read about it, things can get a little lopsided/one-sided in friendships. They know what I wore to Whole Foods last night, I have no idea where they live now. It's only normal, but I'm ready to move on from that.

I'm also ready to give HJ a bit more online privacy. I'm all over the map when it comes to my feelings about kids and the Internet, but something in my gut is telling me to step back right now.

And I'm ready to write new things, different things. I've got a new story underway that I hope to devote a lot of time to. Maybe I'll start a salty anonymous Tumblr where I can be a lot more irreverent and inappropriate. Maybe. I just know I love to write and have many little stories and words inside of me I want to put out there. Just gots to find the right how.

I'm dragging this out too long already, I know. So I'll leave it alone with this:

Thank you, thank you, thank you to everyone who has read along and cheered along and brought me and my family such brightness and laughter and support these past six years. I'm really going to miss this cozy space of mine. It's been so good for me.

All the best, friends.

Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Wednesday (how's it only Wednesday?)

I'll always love this picture because it will always remind me of the day we hung at the children's museum, most of which was spent in line waiting for a ride on their solar powered train. Of which Harper was obsessed with. 

The whole thing was really poorly orchestrated, so Jones and I had to wait almost an hour to get our turn, but she was such a champ. Running around a little, talking up strangers, drinking a juicebox, playing an impromptu dress-up sesh with random things in my bag.

"Are you sad we're missing the train, Mommy?"

"I am! I am." (I really was... I was much more distraught than she was. Maybe because I knew those thunder rumbles might take away our dream. Maybe because I have the patience of an infant.)

"Don't wu-rry! I'll find it!"

Love her buns.

Speaking of buns! Her first undies arrived tonight via the miracle of Amazon Prime and she is just deliciously delicious in them. What a lil lady.

Now! Let's just hope she can pull it togethah and not wake up for the fourth night in a row at 3:02 on the dot. First night she was upset about all the "hot water!!!!!"(?), the second night there was a bug in her blanket (no, there wasn't), and last night... I forget; my brain was leaking a little bit by that point.

So wish me luck gettin' through those wily hours? Thanks to you!

Monday, August 13, 2012

I just walked to Whole Foods in the dark to get cc some ginger snaps

So I'm running low on batteries. We also started this morning with Harper requesting a robot costume (which we produced), so. Busy day.

But because I'm realizing more and more this ol' blog is to document for me, for my family, our days together -- I didn't want to forget to remember the little summer supper picnic on the beach I forced upon my two favorites. A vision quest complete!

I bought some sammies and chips and pickles and iced teas and peaches. I put out the red blanket and handed Harper some low budget beach toys (two cups). The ocean air was still warm, but not chilly yet, and we ate our foods and then made sand castles and then I snuck away to swim a bit solo while they played. Joy!

And then I scolded cc because didn't he want to take pictures of his two ladies playing? Hello! We're adorable.

(And now summer may come to a close and fall may bring along not-burning-like-a-fire temperatures and deliciously spicy chais.)

Monday, August 06, 2012

Before I zonk

Harper June: If you ever read this little blog someday, I want you to know the nurse at your pediatrician's office today (it was check-up time) told me you are, and I quote: "literally the strongest 2-year-old" she's ever met. "No, I mean it."

Sure, she found this out when you kicked the sh*t out of her trying to give you a shot. And sure, she had to give you said shot two times because of your Hulk-like insanity. But details, details. As she said: "It's a good thing -- just...very intense. Warn her future nurses."

Man. I love having such a feisty and smart and strong daughter. Keep it up, Jones. Pow pow!

Thursday, August 02, 2012

Please someone tell my dog to lie down and sleep it's nighttime

Much to cc's horror, I now own (and wear) (in public) a muumuu. It's glorious.

But hey, he's wearing plaid shorts and winter socks while watching women's gymnastics sooooooo. So.

And now, three things about the song "My Boyfriend's Back" by, apparently, The Angels:

1) I used to (1990ish) sing with abandon the following lyrics:

He went away and you hung around
And bothered me, every night
And when I wouldn't go out with you
You said things that weren't very nice

At this point, I am so disturbed by her prudishness I don't know where to begin.

2) I was so into this song back in 6th grade (I've always been extremely timely) that I wrote new lyrics to it for a Nancy Drew book report. And then performed it in front of my class. Pretty sure no other 11-year-olds had any idea what I was doing. (I'm also tickled by the fact I was already academically mailing it in back then. Nancy Drew? Amy, Amy, Amy.)

3) Harper love love loves this jam. (I've got it on an old mix CD a friend made me years ago.) I'll be scanning through the tunes and this comes on and she yells out "I like this one!!!!" before I can change it. Like (crazy) mother like (crazy) daughter.

Happy end 'o week!

Tuesday, July 31, 2012


Let's all agree that "potty training" is a completely embarrassing phrase to say out loud, putting on blast just how far you've come from the days of sleeping-till-1, brunches made from micro greens, another nap at 3, and then drinking an artisanal beer or something.

Last week after my dance class, I asked the owner what age kids can start.


"Oh! Great. And I assume they need to be potty trained?" (Wince. I carried a watermelon?!)

(Extra strength silence, look of disgust, etc. etc.) "God. Yes."


All that being said, we're doing...that right now.

And it's been pretty breezy. I'm basically housebound and grounded -- and my house looks terrifying for it -- but there aren't any crazy stories (and if there were, I probably wouldn't want to tell on her to the Internets...probably).

Part of that is we haven't ventured out into the scary Westport world yet (and I'm sure there will be adventures then, oh I'm suuuure) and part of that is because I waited till she was ready ready ready. I mean honestly, I'm dragging my feet even now because...diapers are easy. And I'm tired. And truthfully, I'm just not ready for her to be an un-baby yet. But it was time.

So my biggest p'training tip? Watch for signs of readiness. Then ignore them and wait six months. They'll nail it.

Sunday, July 29, 2012


Summer is so nice. Let's keep it summer longer.

cc has summer hours on Fridays and can be with us for much of the day, so our weekends are feeling longer/lusher/lovelier. Friday we went to the ocean and flew our kite and swam, we all went shopping on rainy Saturday (Harper no joke LOVES to shop... dangerous), today there was pool swimming/ice cream eating/sushi slurping/walking-along-the-watering. (Oh and! America's Funniest Video watching. So 1990s Sunday night family bonding of us.)

She's so worn out by the end of the day, I can get her to sleep at 7:30 if I pull my act together. Magical.

("Wow! Insta-Hang! Wow!" is what cc's saying re: an infomercial right now.)

Oh! I also forgot we watched the opening ceremonies (Opening Ceremonies?) on Friday night and delighted ourselves with our "I thought Abe Lincoln was American?" etc. commentary. And Bob Costas/Matt Lauer's North Korea joke killed it. And sure, of course doves should ride bicycles. We were also WTFing about the huge Ralph Lauren logos on the costumes. (Costumes?) Harper just kept asking where all the "running and jumping" was.

Oh! I also got to watch a former high school classmate (played soccer "with" her, too tho -- mostly that entailed camps and tryouts/conditioning every summer, since once fall started I was JV'ing it up hardcore on a different field and she was dominating Varsity...) race on the women's Olympic cycling team this morning. She made a real play to medal (came in first for the Americans, but we got beat) and it was so crazy to see her chatting with interviewers pre-race and then speeding along on camera all zip zip. My town's super small, yo! So that was fun.

And now my dog's asleep and cc's trying to talk me into buying a house on an island, and I need some Mexican chocolate ice cream all up in hurr.

Thursday, July 26, 2012

Life's a beach (sorry)

So I finally got our town beach sticker yesterday, after signing away my parental rights to any future children, donating all the blood in my body, and saying Rumpelstiltskin three times. Really, tho -- you need a copy of my lease?! And car registration info?! And my child's birth date?! What about, say, a piece of mail and a handshake?

However, it's 35 dolla for the sticker and 30 dolla per day without, so I tap danced for it.

Then we went to the beach and she was so beside herself with manic glee, I felt guilty for taking the two weeks to get it. Of course, she's currently obsessed with singlehandedly removing every piece of seaweed from the ocean, so... she's probably just upset I cut into her work hours.

It's fun having an ocean (or sound) beach that is actually swimmable. I'm used to standing up to my ankles, shivering numbly, and then running back to the burning hot sand -- and rinse repeat rinse. Here, Harps "swims" up to her armpits and I've even been known to duck under. (When she's not looking, obviously. Going under is not permitted behavior.)

I used to love being at the beach all day, but now I feel like my skin is getting crunchy under the disappearing ozone and the sand, the sand, the sand in my grapes! I think 1-2 hours is a nice little visit before we strip off the suits and run around in oversize tshirts under the comfort of a roof. Hence, the beach sticker; we can come and go and come and go and my wallet isn't mad. (But my future kids might be.)

Tuesday, July 24, 2012


Maybe my favorite picture ever.

Doesn't Harper look like the Princess in Super Mario Bros. 2? She's about to fly after that kite.

Tho when I call that her "princess dress" (she wears it for a chunk of everyday), she yells at me. "It not a princess dress! It a dress-up dress!" As my mom would say to her, "Don't be such a square, Harps." ("It's not a leaf, Grammy! It's a MAPLE LEAF." I fear the teenage years, people.)

So today was pretty great. We've got a new sitter who we met last week, loved, and started today. (And she's a preschool teacher. Dude.) She'll be coming about 4 hours a week (for the summer) and it totally blows my mind I have a few hours to myself. My-self!

I made sure the house was primed for success: Put out a special treat for HJ (crazy cookie sticks you dip into chocolate and strawberry frosting) and set out a craft (glue and Q-tips and dried pasta/beans for glueing) and made sure there were other delightful things sprinkled around. They were gluing as I kissed her goodbye and she literally yelled "Bye bye Mommy!!!!!"

Don't let the door hitcha!

So. First, I got a sweet tea. And I parked and sipped in cc's truck while I read my Anne Tyler book. Then I got my guts up (is that a saying?!) and went to a dance class at this studio literally within walking distance of my house (and nothing is within walking distance to my house -- except this place). I have no idea why I haven't gone before -- I stare at it everyday and obsess over their online schedule and really, really miss dancing. I guess it's just hard to make the times work and hard to take that first step (ha, step). Like -- will I have the right shoes/clothes/payment form. (Certified money orders only. Or maybe only coins.)

Some places are all real leotards and tights and sh*t. Some are sweatpants and no bra. You feel like an idiot if you're in your Groton-Dunstable Regional High School tee while everyone else is pulling on their Capezio. And vice versa. But I'd found a couple pics online and I Sherlock'd it out (yoga pants and a tank top) and brought along my worn-in ballet shoes. First class was free, so that was easy. And people were smiley and kind of old. Also a bonus! (There were high schoolers, tho, too. It was a bizarre mix. I blame it on the summertime?)

Anyways. Not to bore the non-dancers, but I had the time of my liiiiiiiiiife, Patrick Swayze. We did a warm-up to songs from Chicago and I had tears in my eyes I felt so at home. Pitiful! But then I became a normal person again and just had so much fun. And was really out of breath. And mad that society has decided chunky yoga pants should be worn for everything. Bring me some tights, sista!

Oh, dance. My firstest love.

*rubs Ben Gay all over and falls asleep at 9*

Sunday, July 22, 2012


That's my kid trying to sit inside a bowl.

Good weekend over here. Visited the big as$ library sale a couple times and scored some treasures, had an old HS friend spend the night and chatted it up, ate sushi and Magnolia cupcakes and Shake Shack, did manymanymany crafts with Jones and blew bubbles and chased my dog around. Watched cc and HJ leave on a bike ride, discovered the best grocery store in the world probablydefinitely (Fairway, you have my heart forevermore), slept in, played Just Dance 3, almost hit cc in the head a few times whacking whiffle balls he pitched me. He just doesn't ever want to admit my intense athletic skills, people. (No fine, I don't really have them -- but I do want him to admit that I'm, surprisingly, not particularly unathletic either.)

I didn't do much cooking this week and want to make up for it this. Got cc to bookmark a million things in my Ming Tsai book and that should help me choose some new stuff. We've got a couple music classes, maybe a playdate or two, a few hours of babysitting, and hopefully some ocean time.

Still jonesing for the citylife a couple times a week, but I think I'm getting into the rhythm of this place. Happy weekaweek!

Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Sitting next to my back-home-again-cc

Inspired by my dear friend Mandy, I've been giving Harps lots of outdoor tubbies in an aluminium bucket/bin (I'm missing the actual word here, but am too tired to care)... She's increasingly wary of the actual tub, so this is a seriously good solution to get the areas soaked and, at least partially, scrubbed. Good enough for government work.

What a ridiculously HOT summer, non? Thankful for our central air (never had that growing up), but bummed we have to limit most of our outdoor play to early morning raspberry picking and late afternoon soaks. It's just so steamy otherwise and there have been massive afternoon storms, too. George is not a fan.

Just ordered a book called The Preschooler's Busy Book for more ideas to keep us, well, busy inside. There's already lots of crafting and playdough and dance parties and such, but girlfriend is constantly asking "What's next?!" and I'ze gots to keep up. Whew.

Sunday, July 15, 2012


Can I just give a shout out to the iPhone? If it weren't for that sucker, I'd have a million (and a half) newborn pictures of my kid and nothing else. Hearts.

This has nothing to do with the nakie raspberry pic above, but remember that book He's Just Not that Into You? (Of course you do.) (I actually went to a taping of that guy's show because a friend was on it and I was her guest? A story for another time.) Do you think he'd mind if I made a similarly themed book about mom friendships? I'll pay him a few of the dimes, maybe.

It's just that I've uncovered so many different rules/themes/hints while I navigate these rocky SAHM shores and maybe I need to share them with the world. Or maybe I'm not quite ready yet, seeing as I'm always scratching my head at the weird things that are always happening.

Had some pretty blue days last week, moping about a couple friend things and feeling oh-so-sorry for myself... and today I feel a galaxy away from how I was feeling then. Because once you realize all o' the sudden "oh! she's just not that into me!" you can just relax and move onto the nice peeps who are into you, with the nice emails and get-together offers and so on and so forth.

Sometimes I fight too hard to make friendships work that aren't even that awesome in the first place. I get this idea that we're meant! to! be! buds! because maybe we had a few fun times and meh. It doesn't always work like that. As cc once said to me about a bumpy friend situation (that lasted much too long - I need to give up much sooner!): "She might be your best friend -- but are you sure you're hers?" Tough to hear, but mighty true.

It's hard, tho. Just like in the romance world, it's hard to find an even mom match. Someone will be super into me and I'm lukewarm. Then I find someone who's (seemingly) perfect and they'll already have 12,000 friends and 4 kids and just don't need a new pal. Wah wah.

But bottom line, I feel so much better tonight. It all seems kind of silly now -- the sighing and tearing up and head shaking. Not sure why I go through these cycles now and again, but it feels good to come out the other side kinda laughing at myself. Hearts!

(btw, my husb just linked to this very insightful NYT article about the difficulties of making new friends as adults. How timely for moi.)

Friday, July 13, 2012


I accidentally just typed blogger.OM which, quite honestly, is the opposite of anything Blogger. Has everyone else abandoned ship for Wordpress long ago? I'm frustrated by this thing 79% of the time.

Anywho. Friday! Yeah!

I'm lo-ving life these past few days because I finally gave up/gave in/gave money and got some help up in here. My husband and my mom and my friends and probably even George had all told me to, but it felt like laziness. Or something. I'd kept the house at an okay level of clean (they're not gonna take me away to star on Hoarders, but I'm also not getting a Good Housekeeping seal of approval), but lately it was feeling even more overwhelming and yick. And I wasn't wanting to do the household things I really do like (cooking) because I was drained from keeping the rest of the ship afloat. 

Oh and our yard was just... a hot mess. We've been away a bunch and it's been so hot and it's just a tontonton of grass... and ivy-covered walls and all sortsa other encroaching green things. The idea of "lawn people" makes me feel all Westport and not-me, but let me tell you -- when those guys pulled in on their rider mowers, it made my heart sing. So now we have access to this big, crazy yard again and Harper and I found a giant mess of raspberry bushes (vines? brambles?) we didn't know was there and it's a new, fun activity for the hot summer hours. Or the very early morning hours... as she woke up at 5:15 this morning, begging to go pick "red raspberries peeeeze!" So we pulled on our boots and did just that. How Laura Ingalls.

And the cleaners oh, the cleaners! They worked and worked and worked and scrubbed and it just feels so incredibly fresh and nice and organized in here. Like, it cleared up my head in a way I forgot a clean house could do. The day after, I was suddenly crossing things off my to-do list I'd been avoiding and cooking a pot of beans/skillet cornbread/kale and snuggling my dog and staring at the shiny surfaces. I really can't believe how good it's made me feel. (Is that sad? I don't know or care.)

I'm on a help-is-flipping-amazing roll now and serendipitously just got an email from a friend for a sounds-very-wonderful daytime babysitter rec. She might only be available for the summer (Montessori teacher), but hey! I'mma grab her. A few hours to myself plus a clean house plus a lawn not up to my knees? Heavenly, luxurious* heaven. (Time to go walk my dog. That one's still all me.)

*Anyone (other than Matt) remember Bobby Trendy from the very, very, very old Anna Nicole Smith show? (I watched that...?!?!? Oh, college and its...substances.) He said everything was "luxuuuuuuuuuurious." It was awesome.

Thursday, July 12, 2012

Just a pic

Stole this pic from cuz Amanda of Jones on the 4th on my Gram's porch. It's so saucy, I love it. And you can kind of see her left browner eye, right bluer eye thing. My little hammy.

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Funny of-the-moment Harper things

Because I love to look back on it:

- Lately calls cc "Clay Clay". Zero idea where this came from, since I almost never call him Clay... 

- Instead of the usual toddler "NO!" she likes to say delicately: "No, not quite..." 

- Has pretty amazing puzzle skills. We've got a set of 4 mini 12-piece puzzles (just loose pieces, not with a board) and she can do them entirely by herself, very quickly. I'm mostly impressed because she's faster at putting them together than I am. (I'm admittedly terrible at puzzles, but still.)

- Uses this really weird, high-pitched, sweet voice when she's asking for something she wants. "How 'bout a show?" 

- Turns lots of things down because they're "too" something. For example. We bought her a gross strawberry lemonade thing the other day during some travel. She took a sip and said: "No thank you. It's too tasty." Or we gave her some raspberry sorbet. "It's too raspberry-y." Or ice cream: "It's too messy." (I swear I feed her good things, too.) After an unfortunate bath bomb incident at my mom's house (we thought it'd be fun, but it turned the tub green and fizzled and she freaked out), she wouldn't take a bath the whole visit. "It's too painty!!!!" she'd yell.

- Mostly thinks of herself/refers to herself as "Baby"... She'll say Harper, too, and tolerate that. But nothing else. When she's in a silly mood, anything you say she'll correct. For example, my mom pointed out her new work and said "That's my new place of employment!" and Harper says "I not place of employment, I Baby!" 

- Along the same lines, if you tell her she's such a big girl she'll yell "No! I so little! I so small! I a baby!" It's pretty much the opposite of any other toddler. (Or at least ones without baby siblings.)

- Adores Finding Nemo. And rather heartbreakingly will narrate what's going on. "Nemo missing his daddy. Nemo in the fishbowl and daddy swimming with the turtles. Daddy so sad." 

- "I can't like it!" is a favorite one after trying some food. 

- Love her unique memory. On our trip to Maine, we popped in our new Music Together CD. This fun song (our first time hearing) came on while we were in a Boston tunnel and she lalalala'd along. We didn't hear it again for another week, when we were tooling around Portland. On it came and she yelled: "Just like in the tunnel!" 

- Will tell me "You're right!" after I say something obvious like "It's lunchtime" or "I'm tired." 

Okay that's it for now. Gots to run. 

Sunday, July 08, 2012


I love her.

In other news, I'm sitting in the dark typing while Jones drifts off to Randy Newman on my iPhone. It's our last night at my mom's and so I'm just rolling with the bad sleep habits that have developed over the past week. I've got a few things to undo once we're back in the CT, but won't help to worry about that now.

The combo of a very vivid imagination + increased verbal skillz + 3 different sleeping rooms over 1 week + a scary recent event (to be explained in a bit)  = HJ waking up from a dead sleep yelling things like "Mommy! A ghost man is coming in my window! He said boo! He get me and I so, so, so scared!" Oh dear.

So yeah. Things were funky sleepwise already, but then on the 4th -- after a really nice/steamy day of parading and hotdogging and cousining -- a serious thunderstorm hit while we were all piddling around my gram's house eating leftovers. It was loud. Like, loud loud loud. The first big boom made us all laugh nervously and check in -- upstairs crowd yelling down to downstairs crowd. Then pause, pause, pause... Then a boom/crack/lightning flash that felt so insane, words can't really do it justice. Well, maybe they could if I weren't brain fried and hunched over in a dark room.

Harps was downstairs watching (of all things) America's Funniest Vids on my mom's lap and I was up a landing of stairs in the kitchen eating an omelette. She screamed and screamed and I sailed down the steps and grabbed her and ran back up the stairs. We all gathered in the kitchen, away from the windows. And then forced my cousin Ben out the door. To check on the burning smell and to see what in the hell just happened. Harper was terrified. Crying and screaming and shaking and inconsolable. I was so jealous of my cuz Amanda who could just start nursing her toddler. Instant tranquilizer.

Ben couldn't see anything, but when the rain finally stopped, Amanda and the babies and I headed outside to poke around. Sure enough, we found a deep hole in the ground -- 5 feet from the screen door opened to the room where Harps had been. Yep. She was 10 feet from a lightning strike! Weeeeeee! Also? Ben and Amanda's car (a couple feet from the hole) was completely wiped out -- computer dead, wouldn't start, vroooom F. And it had a flat tire. Did the lightning hit the car and go under ground and up thru the hole? Or through the hole and up thru the car? Let's call Mythbusters!

Super, super scary. We were all shaken and punchy for a long time after that. Oh and Harper has now developed a serious love thing for America's Funniest. She calls it the "Falling Down Show" and now requests it when she's feeling anxious. Doobie doobie doo!

So that was that.

It's been a very nice week, tho. Lots of warm weather and feet-in-the-ocean and ice cream (and coconut cake and an Ina peach/raspberry cobbler I made and handmade potato donuts and oh F I've got work to do at home) and relaxing and reading (my mom has the most impressive self-help library you can imagine -- I always delve into 2 or 3 tomes while I'm here) and strolls and porch sitting. I feel really rested and summerfied.

But! We miss cc and George and our little cottage calls us back tomorrow. Check ya on the flip, Maine.

Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Sometimes I take it a step too far

Harps is on a massive, massive arts 'n crafting kick. There's collaging, there's making-costumes-from-construction-paper, there's covering-her-body-in-facepaint, there's gluing-of-puff-balls, there's crayons and markers and stickers and yarn and yow. I have total oversensitivity over Not Being Good At Art, so I'm really letting girlfriend go crazy with all this.

At 5 tonight, with 3ish hours till bedtime, and cc not coming back (no idea where he is) (kidding, he's on a bi'ness trip and we're joining him tomorrow), I needed to get something going to get through the evening. It was gorgeous outside and I'd already pulled out the materials for a bizarre project earlier. Seemed like the perfect time.

Opened an old can of sweetened condensed milk, poured out little divisions, then swirled in food coloring. She was all "Oh wow! Looka that purple! It's so fancy!" And seriously? It kinda was. The colors were super bright mixed with the, uh, milk and it was fun watching them pop.

Then I stripped her down nakie, pulled out a big piece of paper, handed her some q-tips (she's not always into sticky hands) and she went to town. The milk painted smoothy and shiny (would look neat on wax paper for a stained glass situation) and she got all Pollock on it, jumping up and splattering and sure wanted to draw a lot of fruit. "These grapes are so tasty!"

A fun mom would be all "Take a taste!!!" but I figured that would just confuse matters for, oh, the rest of her life when every other paint is not fo' eating. Also... that can was mighty old.


Tomorrow we're off on a big 10 day trip to Boston, then NH, then Maine. Will try and post a little here and there (I can never stay off Instagram), but I need an Internettles detox in general so. Kisses!

Monday, June 25, 2012

Mondee, gluedee

Friday night we grabbed a quick dinner at the Whole Foods three minutes away. (It's only redeemable quality, really.) She didn't eat much and as we walked out, I noticed she was delicately holding her hand over her stomach. She didn't complain about pain and it wasn't in your typical stomach ache territory (like, lower down in the guts) so I just watched her.

We got home and it was late and she wasn't that stinky, so we skipped bath, threw her in some pajamas and into bed. She went down easily and slept thru till 6.

Up we all got the next morning and headed out to breakfast. (Contrary to available facts, we don't eat every meal out, I promise ye.) After we had our strawberry waffle and caramel pancake and ketchupy eggs and bacon (for her) spread delivered, she took a few measly bites, started holding her stomach and asked to leave.

Because this is a girl who has never complained of a belly ache, I started to get a little nervous. Took her into the bathroom and started poking her tum. "Ow! Ow! OW!!!!!" My own little tum dropped. There was obviously something terribly, terribly wrong.

Shoving a few more carbs in our faces, we gathered up cc and headed to the car. She held her stomach through the parking lot and then doubled over when we reached her door. Clay pushed on her tum, too, and she let out a howl.

"Is her doctor open today?"

"They'll have someone on-call, " I said. I felt sick.

"Let's call after she rests a little."

He strapped her into the seat and we buckled our belts. My mind raced with the exciting possibilities. A tumor, obviously. And appendicitis. And Celiac. And an even bigger tumor than the first one I'd imagined. I collapsed against the window and tried to catch my breath. I really couldn't believe this was happening to me. (To me! I know.)

As I closed my eyes, I suddenly thought of something.


"Excuse me?"

"Glue. She has a patch of glue on her stomach from her arts and craft binge. And we never washed it off because she never had a tub."

He wasn't completely convinced, but I knew that was that.

We pulled in 10 minutes later and I hoisted her up on the kitchen counter. Dampened a tea towel. Lifted up her tiny tee shirt and took a peek. A big blotch of dried, amoeba-shaped glue pulled at her tawny skin. You know. Glue Skinitis. Kind of like cancer.

(I really need a therapist.)

Monday, June 18, 2012

cc day

Someone really, really loves her dad. (And I do, too.)

Friday, June 15, 2012

Happy Fridee!

This is my giant toddler on a tiny swing.

Girlfriend keeps growing and growing and, well, you get the point. She must be getting it all done during naptime, tho, because oof. Her nighttime sleep ("sleep") is killing me softly. I do believe it's the work of those two-year molars poking through so... should be short-term? Ruh-right?

Oh, also: She won't wear pants right now (scraped her knees and she's afraid pulling them on will take off her "bam-aids"...) and so her legs are freezing and goosebumpy and that's not ideal for sleep either, is it? No.

In other news, we are both obsessed with our new favorite movie -- Tangled. Lovelovelove.

That's really all I got, friends.

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

A day to put in my pocket

Um. Kinda hot.

 So...I'm tired tired tired. (Nope, not knocked up.) (I feel like whenever I say I'm tired, peeps think ooohhhhh? No.) But I want to jot down yesterday so I can look back and go yes! That was a very non-mom and awesome day. After a group nap (George and Jones and me), I got the missus lookin' all cute, drove us south, and dropped her with cc at work. A little unofficial Take Yo' Daughter to Work Day. She was so cute and so proud in her yellow rain jacky and apple boots, coloring on his dry erase board with markers, waving me off with a confident "Bye bye, Mommy! I coloring in my apple boots!"

And I hopped in the Subie and drove (thru the rain rain rain) to Manhattan, parked in Times Square (dawg, driving/parking might be semi-pricey... but it is WONDERFUL) and met up with my dear old friend Matt. He'd invited me to a supa hot show (closing in a few days and the main chick just won the Tony... at 2 years younger than us, we were disturbed/depressed to discover) called Venus in Fur. Ow ow! Spicy and yummy and I really did love it. (Even if it made me question my every career choice/decision to leave theater...)

Then we ran thru the rain a few blocks to a Mexican restaurant and climbed stairs to a lofted area and ate pomegranate guacamole and cricket tacos (he made me!) and tres leches cake. It was all cozy and warm in there and the food was delicious and we gossiped and took our time and the rain fell and I yawned and got full and felt all giddy I was there. Then Matt walked me to my car and off I sped to Connecticut.

Usually I feel mopey leaving the city and tho it started that way, lights and towers behind me, as I pulled into my little cottage under the trees, with the rain pitter pattering around me and a deer giving me the fish eye, I felt this overwhelming happiness. Because woah; I can zip into this amazing city and sit with an old/true friend and zip back and here is my beautiful sleeping toddler, curled in her bed, and my dog asleep in his and my cc -- who'd taken over the homefront and shooed me into the city -- waiting for me under quilts, and thisismylife and tho there are challenges and bumps and hey, maybe HJ woke me up at 4:40 for the day this morning and I wore a gigantic Homer Simpson shirt and dirty hair all day and ate McDonald's for lunch  ... it's all mine and all real and all so very good.

Monday, June 11, 2012

Some "fings" as she says

In no particular order, and because my battery's about to die as usual and Blogger HATES ME, here are some pics from my life with HJ. And then some words after. It's not pretty but IT'S SOMETHING, people.

Doin' her letters.

Kitchen love.

Bertucci's! Where you been since 1999?

1) On Saturday we went to a bouncy castle/slide birthday party in the next town over. It was crazy cute -- but also brought up some pretty vivid flashbacks of sweaty afternoons at Roller Kingdom in Nashua, New Hampshire.

At one point, they turned all the lights off and the kids had glowy sticks and there were black lights and Beiber was blasting and hold up -- is HJ 2 or 12?! Hilarious. She wasn't super into the bouncy stuff past a certain point (the boys were getting a little nutso), but oh boy did she love the dark/lights/music. She danced and danced and danced and danced.

In the middle of all the dancing, this song came on and she turned to me and, so excited, yelled: "Just like Anni!" and shook her booty something fierce -- because her cousin Anni loves that jam and we had a dance party to it once. Oh, it was awesome.

But seriously. She's only 2... slow this ride down, kthx.


2) Sometimes Harps gets my phone handed to her when I need a quick distraction. (Long line at the DMV, etc etc)... And each and every time I'm astounded and scared by her activities. She starts Words with Friends games with people I haven't spoken to in years (and might even be kind of on awkward terms with...) When she plays the game I've got going with my mom, I'll hear about it from mom -- "Harps played her signature move: swapping all your tiles." Doh! She's also emailed people about cool things she likes on a design app (this is not a joke) and texted Clay. It all makes me laugh, tho the Words with Friends habit has got to stop.

3) She is obsessed with this British craft show for kids. It's called Mr. Maker. Ha! Tho she calls it Mr. Baker. I love her. No idea how we found it, but we did and she's over the moon. And now she's in this naughty habit of pretending to stub her toe or chin or skin and then saying "Feel so better with Mr. Baker?" Oh oh oh my. I'm onto you, sista.

4) I just found, via Wikipedia, that Samantha/Darren from Bewitched (oh, did I ever watch the hell out of that show as a kid) were supposed to live in Westport. This thrills me wa-hay more than it reasonably should. Also? The Ricardos (Lucy, Ricky, Babaloo) moved to the 'port after they left the NYC. Sure, those episodes were lame-o but hey! I'll take what I can out here.

Goo'night, lovelies.

Wednesday, June 06, 2012

This, more often than not, is how Harper eats

A few months back, outside Quaker school, while the kiddos played on the (slightly terrifying) playground, a couple of the moms and I were chatting. We were just getting to know each other and our parenting styles -- "OH! You nursed till 18 months!" "Ohhhh you hated babywearing?!" etc. etc. etc. ohmygod how are we still able to summon the strength to discuss these things?! -- and the topic came round to mealtime.

I think the specific discussion was surrounding whether you make your kid eat what you eat or cook something separate. And my answer was -- well... neither?  Which isn't exactly true. Because I tend to "make" her something different, but I sure as hell am not cooking it.

So I explained how her suppers (and lunches...and breakfasts) are usually little plates of things. Like above: Cheese slices, apple slices, a spoonful of peanut butter. And then a glass of water or milk. Or she'll have a dollop of sauteed kale, a pile of raisins, and some whole wheat bread. Some tofu cubes, sliced strawberries, and a pile of Cheerios.

You get it.

I felt a little sheepish admitting my ways -- not because Harps doesn't often eat/like what we eat (which she does, for sure, at least a couple nights a week, even if it's only a small portion) but because so often her food isn't even cooked. It's like weird little piles of cold or raw or whatever things.

But then my friend Amy was all: "Oh, that's totally European!" And I fell in love with her. And then last week she told me about this new restaurant in NYC that's super popular and they serve small little piles of things, including a dessert of Nutella on a spoon.

So...yeah. I'm just very hip on purpose, natch. Look for my method on Pinterest starting never.

Tuesday, June 05, 2012

In the life of Harps

Holy mother of gods am I zonked. Another 5:15 wake-up call from the boss, but this time I was asleep at midnight (or later?) after a late night rabid furniture moving spree via cc and, begrudgingly, me. I used to get much angrier than begrudged when he'd get a bee in his bonnet for redecorating...but then I saw it usually worked out for the best. And so 8 years later, I roll with it. Our bedroom now looks infinity better and our combo living room/eating/crafting room does, too.


Of course, today would be the day we're going off on a big city adventure (Children's Museum of Manhattan woot woot) with pals ... le sigh. It will probably be easier to do something super busy while tired than keep her happy inside while it rains...while tired. 

Here are a few pics from the past few days before I fall asleep typing/before Kipper ends:

Kale ripper/taster.

She begged to go inside. Seriously. (Also -- WHY, downtown Westport?!)

Storytime focus.

Cousin dance party.

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Tuesday, but felt like Monday, but glad it's not

Sometimes I look at her and say "You're so pretty! I love you!" But then clap my hand over my mouth because they're in no way related, obviously, and ah! Don't say them together, Maloof!

But, yeah. HJ: I love you!

(And you're so pretty.)

My favorite part of today was when, at 5ish in the PM, we were so hot after the nature center playground and were collapsed on the couch looking at things together and I said: "Want some kale?" And she said: "Okay!" And I sauteed it up real quick, brought it in on two bowls and we both inhaled it in 3 minutes. We were desperate for some greens after a morning of fatty diner breakfasts and macaroni and cheese lunches.

I also loved it when she did her usual: "Looka me, woman! I wearing my mermaid shirt!" at the library to a random lady on the stairs. She always introduces herself via clothing choices. And always calls random ladies WOMAN. It's awesome.

Apropos of nothing, but -- after reading many, many, many children's books over these past couple years it becomes alarming how 96% of them end with bedtime. Even if the book has nothing to do with anything remotely bedtimey. It's just, like, hey! You're probably reading this before they go to sleep, so we better wrap it up with a major nudge nudge wink wink! ... ?

"Claire and her buddy had so much fun at preschool that day, playing with dinosaurs and eating apples. But then it was time to go to sleep, so goodnight!"

Stop it, please.

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Rainy rainy Tuesday night


Thank you, thank you for your really kind words of support/love/high fives. It means a lot to know we've got a cheering section out there! Yep, it's a good time for my little fam. 

I've been super sleepy lately, with all this rain (and rain and rain and rain) and an early a'risin' toddler lady. (She was on such a good 6:30 stretch, but 5:00 this morning wha? Also a very short nap? No thank you, ma'am.) And I've been super on alert with Monsieur George, who got a visit from a dog trainer yesterday. Lotsa new rules for the pup around here and it's exhausting staying consistent. Zzzzzzz.

It can be crazyhard filling 15 hour days spent inside, but we're getting by. When I just can't take another fun-filled playdough/puddle splashing/puzzles/sinkbath/"cooking"/tea party/reading/painting moment, we've been putting on The Red Balloon -- that 50s French movie that is ohsosweet. I had no idea if Harps would take to it (it's not exactly action-packed and doesn't have any tunes...), but oh my. She is enamored.


Other deep loves of hers right now, before I forget: Billy Joel jams (specifically "Piano Man" -- aka "Man Song" -- and "Only the Good Die Young" -- aka "Drum Song") and saying "so, so, so, so, so" about many different things. As in: "Daddy your face is so, so, so, so, so, so prickly." It's awesome.

Okay. Zonked. Hearts.

Friday, May 18, 2012

A good day

I'm happy today, guys.

My best friend, my cc, had a surveillance scan last week and got his results yesterday -- all clear.

It's a big deal. And has been weighing its weight on my shoulders for weeks now. I feel so light today.

So, right now: the sun is shiny, my family is healthy, my baby is napping, and I'm feeling good.

I'll take it.

Happy, happy weekend!

Thursday, May 17, 2012


Just mah dog and me. We're friends. But...we get into a lot of fights. Or maybe, actually...he keeps lovin' on me all the time and I get into fights with him in my head.

Oh, George. Having a dog has been much harder for me than having a kid. Is that strange to admit? I feel like it's supposed to be the reverse... like dogs are so simple and trusting and full of soft fur, you don't have to reach down that deep to get through the rough days. I'm just not an animal fanatic, tho, so the cuteness factor doesn't help me as much as others. Or something.

But the growing pains are forcing me to learn and adjust and make my cold heart a little warmer. As my mom reminded me, we don't take on all these things (kids, dogs, houses, projects) to keep an easy life. We take them on to make a richer life. And oh my. He's rich.

At the end of the day, tho... he's a good, good pup. I think I'll keep him.

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

How'd it get to Wednesday whaaaa?

So rainy and humid and lush and strange out there this week... Like I'm a'livin in Florida instead of CT. We've been cooped up like Grey Gardens ladies, painting with sparkles (that never come off of anything, everever) and singing that "My Home is An Igloo" song from 1980s Sesame Street, but filling in different words ("My home is an igloo and it's made of boogers!" etc) and looking up many different pictures of her new crush (Obama, sorry, "OMama" and no -- this wasn't pushed on her by me. She saw him in the paper and from that moment on, wouldn't rest until his face lay on her bedroom wall; right next to her First Haircut Certificate) and making playdough pies and dancing to La Bamba on repeat. Whew.

And she's up at 5:45 again these days and so it just reaaaaaally stretches, stretches, stretches. These days. I kind of can't believe I enjoy them as much as I do, honestly. Like, I'll stop sometimes and think "This is fun, I think?" And I'm all, back to myself, "It is!" But then I realize I'm so tired and of course would wish 7:30 to arrive just a little faster, dear god, faster.

I had a really nice Mother's Day, the perfect combo of sleeping late, smushing my lovies, getting pretties in packages, and then solo time. (The first chunk I drove to McDonald's in cc's fancy car while they did swimming lessons and I ate salt, salt, salt. Was awesome.) (The second chunk, I took a restorative yoga class at the Y. Delicious.)

Oh and here's a video to show how the whole day wrapped up. Pretty typical evening.

Wednesday, May 09, 2012

A few things before my battery dies

Sometimes (most times?) I don't blog because the battery on my compy is dead. In general, my ee-lec-tronic devices have between a 2-10% charge at all times. When do ya'll find the time to charge these suckers? (I know, I know. Nighttime. But I'm busy then.)

Okay, so quick before this dies on mah fingers, these things occurred to my head today:

1) I suddenly felt REALLY RELIEVED that I never, ever, ever have to discuss after prom plans. Will we drive to York Beach? Will we have a bonfire in Stephanie's backyard? Will we have the bonfire at night and then drive to the beach the next day? The possibilities were endless. All I can tell you is, I just wanted to go home in my jams and eat Froot Loops. Stop touchin' on me, boys. (Or alternately, ignoring me and chewing gum like a cow for all our pictures. MOO-VING ON.)

2) Without fail, every single day of this life, I have that Monica song (I throw that in so casually, like I have any idea who in hell Monica is/looked like/is she alive?) where it's all "Just one of those daaaaaays. Don't take it personaaaaanal." Yes? You with me? Remember? I mean, this was roughly 15 years ago and it won't leave me be.

3) Remember how importantly hilarious blooper reels were? Like, getting to catch 2 minutes of your favs from Full House mess a line made your life complete? I was on the You Tubez for some reason or other tonight and there were a million options to click on for, of all things, Will and Grace outtakes. And my old self was all "Click click click! The comedy gold!" but I couldn't bring myself to do it. I've come so far?

Okay, computer dying and George wants me to take him up to bed. Last night before cc's back from Dubai-ai-ai. (I can say that now because by the time anyone reads this, he'll be back and it'll be too late to steal us from our beds. Mmmkah?)

Monday, May 07, 2012

Mondee again

Hmm. It appears I've only been updating my corner of the 'nets once-a-weekly. For shame! I think? Or maybe that's a nice flow for me, for now. I feel very, very behind on communications with the outside world; I feel myself slipping into a former bad habit of saying yes please! to things and then not being able to follow through for various and sundry reasons, followed by having to say no, I'm sorry ah! quickly after.

In general, I need to keep a much lower profile ... Just accept the goodness/limitations of my current life (toddler and husband and puppy and house and yard and family and maybe-working-on-a-career-plan) and realize the extras can't happen as often as I think they can. And then, when I do say yes: mean it and stick with it and enjoy it.

Oh, but you probably just wanted to look at that glue stick picture, right?

Funny Harper things (these are more for my benefit to look back on... I love looking back at these things and never seem to do them enough):

- Girlfriend loves to glue. And has the skills! I stand back and let her do her thing (with either real glue and a Q-tip or a stick) and it always shocks me when everything is actually stuck on there, without major overflow. Maybe she'll be a glueologist when she grows up?

- Her love of music is intense, dude. Twice now, we've climbed up the stairs at the library, snuck to the back corner and found the sheet music for Broadway shows to "read the music notes" together. (Per her request.) She loves to run her finger along the notes and listen to me sing/try to find the right tune. She also loves to try and guess what instrument is playing in a song and is often correct. (At IKEA this weekend, she stopped in her tracks to yell "trumpet!" while a muzak song jammed on. It was a sax, but hey! Not too bad.) Never stops singing, has about 20 songs in her repertoire. Often when we pull into the driveway, she requests we sit for awhile so she can stare out the window and listen intently... And music class is the highlight of her week.

- She loves scary things. But then gets genuinely scared. But loves that feeling of oooo creep! This is so obviously inherited from me, it's weird. Tonight, we sat on a chair together and listened to the same Pippin song ("Glory") over and over again, because she thinks Ben Vereen sounds like a ghost at the beginning. She jumps into my lap and hides her head in my chest. "Mummy, I scared! A ghost singing ooo! Ah!" But then as soon as it's over she yells "Again! Again!" Nutcase.

- Obsessed with her "apple boots" (rainboots) and putting them on herself. Wears them everywhere.

- Another inherited thing (from both of us) is her night owldom. No matter when you start the routine (vitamins, bath, brush teeth, jammies, stories, song) she won't fall asleep before 8:45 or 9:00. She pretends to lie down (for cc that is -- with me, she just outright sits up when I walk away) before popping up to read and read and read. We always think she's asleep way before she is, till we suddenly hear a tiny little voice waft down, reciting a favorite book by heart. Sneak.

- Just learned how to use her fingers to count and thinks it's hilarious/fascinating/the meaning of life. And how I love watching her chubby little digits spring up one at a time...
Speaking of counting... She is very, very into me being the Count from Sesame Street. "Be the Count, Mummy!" and then she tells me what I'm counting and I do my borderline fantastic impression. We start out with normal things (toes, apples, cars) and then she gets into complicated verb-y things. "Mummy, be the Count! One baby pretending bubbles are cupcakes!" "Okay... Er. One baby, uh...pretending bubbles are cupcakes... HAHAHA!" Rinse, repeat.

Okay. Brain emptied of that stuff.

George is snoring and I'm kicking myself for not buying Trader Joe's donut holes this afternoon. Picked up some dark choco covered cherries, but those are basically health food and I need some serious starch in my mouth. Amirite?

Monday, April 30, 2012

Mondee morning

Morning, all.

Harps and I had a tea party (mine was coffee, technically) and then she took a huge gulp and clothes were drenched (so much for dressing her in clean clothes under her sleep suit at night) and so then she was naked. And then requested glue and there was a glue party. And then it was all over her and she started to completely lose her mind. (When it dries and starts to stretch and feel/look weird, she goes nutso.)

So up to the tubby for a lavender bubble bath, way heavy on the bubbles. Out she comes, and into her room she goes. Naked and reading books quietly, while I eat leftover pasta and George sleeps. For 9:57, I'll take it. (Tho truth be told, I'm nervous she'll fall asleep up there naked. That will be an awkward fix.)

Nice weekend with my dad/Joie in town -- beach time, Shake Shack time, coloring over pancakes time. Girlfriend thrives on grandparent love.

Other thoughts: It feels that for most of my life, most of the time, I am both hungry and needing to pee. And often cold. How frustrating?

Also: I am so deeply confused about where we are in the seasonal calendar. I cannot stop thinking about pumpkin picking and apple cider and naps-during-football. What? It's almost summer, me. Get with ze program.

I just found out that when we drain her tub, the downstairs toilet bubbles and talks. Glad we're renting tralalala!

I hope she's not peeing in her bed right now.

(No, she's not potty trained yet. Planning on doing an intensive week this summer. Can't handle the long drawn out training style.)

My favorite thing she does lately is a very dramatic, but weirdly who-gives-a-f*ck shoulder shrug with "I don't know!" 

But closely followed by her last sentence of the night a few days ago: "No poopie in the bum, Mummy. Just gas in the bum."

When she's tired/hungry/angry, she'll yell "I need to push Mummy!" Oh. Hey, thanks. I love you, too. Also, no. You can't.

She's listening to a singing birthday card (frogs) right now. "Bye, bye, frogs!" No sleepy in the bum. Just reading in the bum.

Off to find more foods.

Sunday, April 22, 2012

Rainy rain

A good weekend had by all! Harper felt much, much better and I felt...better. And thank you for your well wishes on Friday -- felt the vibes, my friends.

The rundown: 

George helped me meet the neighbs next-door. By being a total punk and running away, but still. I was nosy and he helped his mama.They are French and have a Frenchie named Croissant (oh my) and invited me to the pool for the summer. Win.

Got a nice long sleep this morning while cc took the morning shift. The most important part of thisness was getting Jorge off my hands ... He's been driving me nuts today (and yesterday).

I made good progress on Harper's purple cardi. I need to shop for some cute buttons ... Etsy perhaps?

We looked at some fun houses up for sale. We may, may, may be interested in buying something. But we also may completely change our minds and rent forever and till eternity. Keep you posted. The nutty thing about houses in this area of the universe is, they have so many stories. "The man designed Disney theme parks..." or "She designed costumes for Radio City Music Hall" or there's huge canvases half-filled with paint or rooms filled with architectural blue prints. "Martin Luther King came here to help her with a poetry translation." Oh. I mean of course. Makes me feel a little softer about this town... seriously interesting people have made their lives here, so. I can roll.

We finally started watching the new Sherlock Holmes. I LOVE IT. What took me so long?! Headplant.

Harper was begging cc to take her to the "Prosithia, prosithia!" And he was wandering around, confused and desperate to crack the toddler code. She's pulling on his hand and I come down the path with George to see the scene. And then "Pretty yellow flower, Daddy! PROSITHIA." Like duh. And then he gets it -- Forsythia. And we all find one creeping over the stonewall and she looks so pleased and proud and right with the world. Thanks, Grammy/Botany proff!

Oh and. Harper fell in love (deep, deep love) with heels:


Friday, April 20, 2012



 Junior year of high school, I went to Johnson's (we all worked there, you get delicious fried food there, you wear red shirts and scoop ice cream and hand out french fries and clams there) one afternoon after classes and sat at a picnic table with some girlfriends. I ordered a girch plus t (grilled cheese and tomato) and a mint chocolate chip frappe (milkshake) and pepper rings (green peppers fried into onion ring goodness). I ate it all and then drove back to one of the gals' houses and promptly fell asleep on her couch for 16 hours.

I woke up and felt semi-alarmed, but blamed it on the food bomb and general exhaustion after a long week of...whatever juniors in high school do. (I felt very put upon by my life of ballet classes, play rehearsal and failing pre-calculus.)

I got home and started moping around, feeling 100% strange. My family was on a trip and I was free to watch trash and lie around. An hour or so into this, I got a phone call from the doctor's office I'd visited a couple days before for a routine lady exam.

The nurse led with: "How are you feeling?"

"Terrible, actually." What in the world? How'd she know to call.

"Oh my. Well... you have Toxic Shock Syndrome."

".... .... ...."

"So... you'll need two or three weeks of medication and you shouldn't be alone right now. Someone needs to wake you up every few hours to make sure you're..."


Anywho. So I had this crazy rare thing and I took the meds and was fine and it was all pretty crazyville. But I know now when the doctor calls you with "How are you feeling?" they're not inquiring about your existential/career quandaries. 

Which brings me to these past couple weeks. (I'm making this way more dramatic than is called for, we're both fine, I'll just jump to that now for the grandparents' sake.) We've both been feeling baaaaad since a few days before Easter. Colds and coughs and sore throats and tireds. Then a week ago, my general malaise kicked up a few notches (sore neck, aching joints, super sore throat, losing the will to live) and I convinced myself I had Lyme/meningitis/flu/plague/consumption.

My mom cruised into town to help us sickies and I immediately headed for Urgent Care, where they looked me all over (including my bizarro/raised bite that is probably a spider bite ahahahaha GROSS THE HORROR) and did a Strep test and it came back negative and the doctor asked me if I'd like to be admitted to the hospital? Um, no. If I have a choice, no thanks? He shrugged and said well, I guess it's some kind of viral thing dot dot dot ...

Two days pass, get a phone call. "How are you feeling....?" So I really do have the Strep plague and they got me hooked on the meds stat. We also got Harps checked and I'm waiting to hear back on the results tho they started her on Amox, too, since it's likely she's got it and her ears looked red and her throat looked red and she's still hacking up a lung.

I'm not 100% (maybe I'm 75%) and I'm surprised since usually 2 days into meds and I'm like woo! Party! But I don't feel worse and my throat is considerably, considerably better. But the aching and the neck stiffness and tireds are still there. Maybe that's just called Being a Mom? Harumph.

Long sicky posts always bum me/bore me out, so apologies for inflicting that on ye. Just wanted to say hello! And sorry it's been a quiet week and sorry if I owe you an email or three... I will get back to you, I will, I will!

Friday, April 13, 2012

Some things in no particular order

I'm eating a stale doughnut and Earl Grey tea for breaky. Why can't I just throw away a doughnut at the end of the day when it hasn't been eaten? Because I just can't. Must be my Depression roots. 

Oh and I feel like a genius for two Harper food-related things:

1) For her lunch, I make individual portions of Annie's mac and cheese instead of the whole box. Just boil a little bit of water, pour in a kiddo's portion, and pour the cooked macaroni into her bowl. Sprinkle in some of the cheese, add a drop of milk, done. The pot doesn't get messy, just one bowl to clean, no weird leftovers that turn hard and tasteless, and it cooks up much faster. (Yes, I know there are individual microwave packs, but those things have issues of their own.)

2) Frozen sweet potato pancakes from Whole Foods and frozen french toast from Trader Joe's. 30 seconds in the microwave, smear of agave, cut into halves on a plate. She inhales.

I've become obsessed with the Princess and the Frog soundtrack. Because I'm 11? But mostly because it's written by Randy Newman. I came upon it through Harper's little YouTube routine: Watching "Mermaid, then Belle, then Jasmine!" (We put on "Part of Your World" and then "Belle" and then "A Whole New World" and she's in early 90's ecstasy.)

I was just Googling ballroom dancing lessons. This worries me, but I also think I might need to do it. (I've been doing a lot of Latin inspired moves when the Dora theme comes on.)

I've started eating Uncrustables again. More like...unforgivable.

I bought some scratch 'n sniff stickers for HJ at the dollar store. This is a very difficult concept to get across to a two-year-old.

My entire yard is covered in violets. Beautiful, actually, but probably not Westport lawn material. I will be having many garden parties this year, of course. Really, tho -- is there anything I can do with violets? I hear they're edible -- are they tasty? Can I, like, candy them? Dye a towel? Sprinkle them in my bed? (No.)

Happy Friday/weekend/warm weather, hopefully!

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Harper's world

You know...(or maybe you don't) liiiiike Elmo's World? With the crayon and the goldfish, too? Lalalala. Oh, Dorothy.

 (p.s. One of my favorite moments in all of children's television was: an Elmo's World where Dorothy was "talking" to a child with Down Syndrome. And afterward, Elmo said: "That baby was gorgeous!" I think about it all the time and still get choked up.)

She's feeling almost entirely better now and was happy to be at school today (I get a little thrill/chill down my spine when I realize she'll be there without me for 6 hours a week starting September) and there's a new session of music starting tomorrow and tiny little purple flowers popping up all over the yard.

She's been really chatty lately (especially at home, pretty quiet in public -- which I think is how I was) and it's fun to hear how she's getting more and more reliable/offering up details when cc asks her what we did that day. Oh and she busted out with one of my favorite word combos yet a couple days ago:

(Running out of the bathroom, holding up her sleeve): "MUMMY! I have boogers in my nose and I wiped them!"

It's so weird when they are just making big ol' sentences that make sense and are gross and then they laugh.

"I funny!!!!"

Oh, so, here are a few pics from her day-to-day.

Pink lady. (Dude, it's COLD again.)
They built her cottage together tonight while I cooked dinner. She is PUMPED.
Morning walk.
Shaving cream at Quaker school.

Monday, April 09, 2012

Sickies and Easter

Oops. Radio silence following a post about an ER rash. And then she got an entirely different rash (lacy and all over her abdomen) three days later! Party time. This time, it came alongside a brutal cold and a fever, yada yada. So I knew it was probably viral (Fifth Disease, I'm thinking) and that other rash was probably a harbinger of the sickness en route. WHY AM I STILL TYPING ABOUT RASHES. Sorry.

 I also got sick with super congestion and runny nose and a sore throat. And it was cold and wet and I had brutal, brutal cramps and had to do that whole putting on a happy face when I really want to hide under the wool blanket thing. Cue a very small violin.


 Suffice it to say, we've both been having a rough and stuffy and crabby few days, but we're definitely on the slow upswing. And we had a nice Easter -- she loved the can'y (tho I'm not sure she actually ingested much -- she really got into a ladylike stuffing-in-mouth and chewing, but then spitting it all out routine) and coloring the eggs (cc has all those pics, hope to post them later) and the egg hunt. But please, please. Don't mention the Easter Bunny or she'll lose her noodle. Eeeeeep. (He is a terrifying notion, honestly. And I never believed in him myself, so don't plan on doing him up much...)

And now, while Elmo wraps up and I have a few minutes, I'll go knit a row or two on the purple cotton cardigan I just started for her...

A few quick pics!