Friday, February 29, 2008

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

and your little dog too

my girlfriend and i went for manicures yesterday evening, to get our minds off various stressful situations. it was either that or one of those homemade chocolate donuts from starbucks. and since here on the west coast manicures somehow cost only $8 (?!) and my very public day of nuptials is fast approaching, it was an easy decision.

just before the lady started applying the candy apple red i'd chosen, i changed my mind. (what? me? change my mind?) i remembered this crazy color i'd seen on a friend's nails, this super dark purple shade that reads as black - hilariously, it's called lincoln park after dark - and i bolted up to grab it. the whole time the lady worked she kept looking up like: really? are we really doing this? and i'd laugh maniacally and she'd silently return to her painting.

so now i'm all goth account girl. and i like it. i do believe it's helping me write more assertive emails to certain, er, feisty people at work. i'll hesitate, then look down, see elvira fingers and press send without another thought. a highly recommended color if you're looking to kick some interweb ass.

Thursday, February 21, 2008

sorry for the silence

it's just that i'm very important and sometimes i don't have time for you.

lies, lies!

the truth is i'm in la shooting a commercial (or six), which sucks up more time than you'd ever imagine. and while this maybe sounds glamorous, it's raining like southern california shouldn't, the hours drag, and any time a camera is around and i'm not in front of it i feel very sorry for myself.

but all those free breakfast burritos and homemade peanut butter cups they keep feeding my face aren't bad. nor is my hotel room on the ocean, equipped with a tv next to my bathtub and a robe that feels like marshmallows.

so while i'm tired enough to be watching hannah montana without caring, i guess life could be worse.

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

david lynch,

where have you been all my life? are you looking for a new best friend?

yes, i realize i'm 18 years late to the phenomenon that is/was twin peaks, but i was 8 years old when the thing was on (yes, that means i'm about to turn 26 - gag!) and since one episode of unsolved mysteries at that time sent me reeling into a year of sleepless nights, it was probably best i stayed away.

but now i have the whole series in my greedy little hands and i'm having a hard time not binging on episodes until i'm in a tv coma. because honestly, this show answers every single one of my program needs. it's a murder mystery! it's stylized! it's well-written! well-directed! well-acted! ridiculously creepy! the list goes on into infinity!

i bunker down on the couch and proceed to scare the hell out of myself. last night, i checked the locks 5 separate times. and whipped around to look behind me every 2 minutes. though, i'm not sure who i think will come eat me: the dancing dwarf? the one armed man? the lady with an eye patch? they probably all live in pacific heights.

the sad thing is i know the show was canceled before it reached the end david lynch envisioned (damn you cbs!), but i'm sticking with it anyways. even if i wanted to stop i couldn't - the crack pipe is fully glued to my dropped jaw and i can't stop puffing. oh and if any of you sneaky people out there watched the whole series and give away anything, i will hunt you down to chinatown.

Thursday, February 07, 2008

can you please kick my ass

and make me edit/rewrite my book? the first draft is all bound and ready to go, but lately i've been coming home from work, putting on sock monkey pajamas and collapsing without even watching television. THIS IS NOT NORMAL.

so a) make me edit my book. b) make me watch tv.

i know they sound mutually exclusive, but you're wrong.

Tuesday, February 05, 2008

for your edification

1) last thursday i drove to the airport to pick up clay. it's always tough to gauge exactly when to arrive, what with those ridiculous men guarding the curbs with whistles and megaphones, who do a little circus dance when you pause longer than 4 seconds. as i was making a lap around the terminals, i thought to myself: man, if i could perform magic right now, i'd turn my car into a taxi and hide out in their line. and then i thought to myself: that's the most pathetic use of magic ever.

2) when we bought our handy new bed (working out quite nicely thanks!) we ate at the ikea cafe, my favorite part of the ikea experience. if you don't have time for a sit down meal, may i suggest you at least purchase the $1 cinnamon bun? they're heavenly. but my point is, we sat next to a couple in evening wear. meaning, the man was in a full tux, the woman in a ball gown. and they were upstairs at ikea, eating meatballs, and i believe talking about opera. to get into ikea in the first place, you have to purposely park in the large garage and purposely follow the large blue and yellow arrows. you don't just happen upon the ikea cafe, like you may happen upon a quiznos. so these people either showed up on purpose to eat before the symphony, which is great, or they dressed up for my benefit, to which i say: thanks guys!

3) whenever we drive home from work we drive through the red light district. we always turn our heads to see who's walking in and out - it's impossible not to. the other day i made clay engage, much to his annoyance, in a discussion about what circumstances would have to come together to make me strip. here's what we decided: it's a friday afternoon. clay, my family and friends are all dead. i have a child. he's sick and needs a $10,000 operation by monday morning. my credit cards are maxed out. i'm in shape.

Saturday, February 02, 2008

you guys, i just thought of something

i'm manager of the gap. i'm responsible for all those t-shirts. french-cut, v-necked, ribbed, what have you. dude, i'm in trouble.

which is to say, i got promoted yesterday. i'm now officially an advertising account manager at _. where i work on the _ account. totally cool, right? in order to avoid getting dooced, i'll have to leave it at that. except to say that i'm really slow on the uptake and it took me an (embarrassingly) long time to figure out what was happening - until suddenly there was champagne and chocolate cake in my face. it kind of felt like proposal deja vu, except instead of a shiny blue, i got new business cards. in case you can't tell? i'm kind of a big deal.

in other news, i bought my wedding dress today! woh, what? yes! i pulled the lacy trigger. my lovely friend/trooper rachel and i hit the shops this afternoon and had a lovely time. probably not the best idea to head out on a rainy chinese new years day, but things ended up being low key and fun and felt pretty princess-y but in a manageable way. i won't reveal any details because a certain cow likes to read this site, but i will say it's very me, it's very pretty and it's
very vera wang. snap!