Saturday, September 20, 2008

we'll be there in 1 sesame street and a mister rogers

as i've mentioned it before, i've got a hole in my brain when it comes to anything spatial.

(side note: as i type "hole in my brain" i'm reminded of someone i knew, from somewhere i've been, who actually did/does have a hole in his brain. i can't remember who this person is, but i do remember it explaining a lot when i found out.)

this problem can also, often, cross over into other areas of measurement: time, money, mass. i always say if people knew just how weird things were inside my head, they'd be impressed with how well i get along. one of my coping strategies is relating everyday things to larger concepts.

por ejemplo:

when i was little, hanging with my mom on errands or on long road trips up to maine, i'd often ask the often-asked question: "how long till we get there?" to which she would answer in television show units.

sesame street = one hour
mister rogers = half hour

and time confusion was wiped out. i still use this all the time. if i have a really gruesome dentist appointment approaching, i think "okay - it's just an episode of big love and an episode of frasier. it'll fly!" strangely it never really does...

other useful tools:

once i figured out that a box of cheez-its weighs a pound i was golden. if someone asks "can you lift 40 pounds?" i think about 40 boxes of cheez-its and do the muscle math. try it - i think you'll like it.

oh, and

in our vending machine at high school, a twix bar cost 25c. (i also walked uphill both ways, barefoot through the snow.) and so, we measured all moneys against that. ooo! i just found five dollars on the ground! 20 twixes! i still equate quarters with peanut buttery goodness.

there're more of these cheats bouncing around in my head, but you get the idea.

now if there was only one of them could help me understand how to stop the blow darts, i'd be all good.


  1. but do you multiply the twix conversion x2 for a 'per stick?'

    Just curious - as always - about how your noodle works.

  2. good question, class.

    but these were singles.

    just like the cookies and cream variety, i don't think they package 'em like that anymore.

  3. are really weird.

  4. totally agree.

  5. Oooh, ooh! Was it Phineas Gage?

    (In a death defying stunt, Ben retrieves from his holey brain the name of a fellow holey brained person he learned about sophomore year of high school. Yes, I too wonder about the (mal)function of my brain.)

  6. snap! good memory, bean. i love the story of phineas gage. pipe through his head, totally fine, except totally new personality. i think he was a coal miner.

    but ... this was a person i met and used to interact with daily. i hope they don't read this blog...

  7. regular twix? or peanut butter twix? because regular tiwx is just caramel, choco, and cookie... i just want to get the facts straight. and was the persons first name paul?

  8. well my favorite twix is peanut butter. caramel twix is okay, but i don't know if i'd drop a quarter on one.

    and oh my. i think you may have just cracked the hole-in-brain case...


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