Thursday, April 30, 2009

All week long I bitched

About attending this artsy event Clay had signed us up for tonight.* I've been moody and thundercloudy and headachey all week, which has unfortuntely coincided with needing to get a lot of shit done. Don't even get me started on the "Family Story" project I completely fabricated. I think I really nailed my cousin's voice best. (You had some great lines, Christie!)

(*Last month he met a board member of an SF artistic company in first class, flying back from work. He wowed the guy with all his wowey ideas and suddenly wham bam we're his special guests at a gala?! What up, things that would never happen to me?)

Why so brat-tastic? Because it was tonight and we're moving tomorrow and I wasn't going to know anybody and I can be super socially awkward when I'm tired and hormonal and didn't we just want to sit on the couch and listen to Dr. Huang talk about serial killers over a nice bowl of Kashi before we passed out on top of all the boxes and dust?

But we were committed, so we got dolled up (thank you, navy blue Banana silk dress I bought two years ago that I've worn to every single formal event since) and headed out. And you know what? My curmudgeonly, crabapple butt actually had a lovely time. And may have found something creative and exciting to get behind and give some time to. More details at a later date.

For now, I throw at you a favor. Because all I ever hear at these things is a question that makes me blush and stutter and probably convince them I'm in the CIA:

"And what do you do?"

What the eff should I say?

I've worked in special education, publishing, advertising, customer marketing. I write, I'm taking (not brag-able) classes, I like hot baths. Oh, and I'm jobless. There's just no cute little answer for it. ("I'm a plumber!")

You guys are smart and witty and helpful and pretty. Help?


  1. Hmmm hmmm hmm. I'd maybe go with student and free lance writer?

    Hope the move is going well, can't wait to see finished pics!

    And you saying that you love to read my archives is a major compliment, thank you!

  2. I actually like, "I'm a plumber."

  3. christie9:02 AM

    What is this Family Story project you speak of? I must hear you impersonate me. Now.

    Good luck moving. I totally, totally, totally feel your pain. Much love and ibuprofen to you.

  4. Anonymous10:20 AM

    We just had a 2 hour CI (Counter Intelligence) briefing and they were adamant about never letting a person get you to disclose your job or job location. When someone asks, we are told to not answer the question, but change the subject in a nice way. If pressed, still do not answer, smile and change the subject again. They normally get the clue after that. So add a little excitment to your next outside event, do the above, you'll be the buzz of the party.

  5. happy moving day! i hope it's going well.

    my vote: tell people you're a professional face-maker. you're dang good at thems faces.

  6. I stand by 'I'm a plumber'

  7. Cindy C8:58 AM

    Just start the "throw and go" packing technique. Find something to throw it in and go downstairs to the car. Good luck.Think of it as an exercise workout..stairs, lifting, hefting, cardio. Don't feel you owe anyone an explanation on career; have a set answer and go with that. Clay is just "wishing" you were a plumber after your drain problems. Just as I wish I were married to a house renovator who also owns lots of stock in local Home Depot.
    Cindy C

  8. "I'm kind of a passionate person, so I've experienced a lot of different jobs, and I'm currently going to school to do something totally fresh."

    If you felt particularly bitchy, you could substitute,

    "I do whatever the ef I want, bitchesssss."

    But really.

  9. I am sure you and Clay are exhausted but happy to get the move done. Hope all went well. When you catch your breath send the new address. Hope all went great.

  10. thanks for the tips, franz! i told you you were pretty.

    oh and christie -- it was/is a research project where we "interviewed" family members about stupid things and then wrote stupid summaries. it was stupid. but "you" were funny.

  11. christie4:38 AM

    Thanks for making me funny! *Muah*


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